Hello people of the Western States. To keep things “pure,” your editor has not read the previous liveblogs, so this whole song-and-dance will be new. We missed John McCain on the Larry King Show,, too. But we saw Ron Paul on Rachel Maddow’s show! Let’s see what’s going on, and try to justify this weird three-zone liveblogging. MORE »

Tomorrow night at 8pm on the teevee Barack Obama will give a LIVE Ginsu Knife demonstration and then show how Proactiv cleared up his terrible pustulent acne so that he could be president. That is his “closing argument!” BUT! You poor slobs who only get the ABC on your televisions will be out of luck, because ABC programming goons dicked around too long to accept Obama’s offer of a gazillion dollars in exchange for 30 minutes of air time. Too bad for you. For the rest of the nation, your Wonkette editors will helpfully liveblog whatever the hell is on ABC, some show about dead people?, while the Hopey hawks his cheap “change ‘n’ Marxism” Bedazzler on every other channel ever invented. MORE »