primary
Did you hear that there’s a political primary in Illinois tonight, even though Mitt Romney has pretty much mathematically locked up the nomination? This is a thing you will want to type about! Illinois is a fascinating state: There’s a big city and then some wingnuts out in the countryside, just as there in every [...]
Uhh, wasn’t this supposed to be wrapped up by now? No. Not when all your candidates are so terrible. Rick Santorum is back in the race, in other words. He won Missouri! That’s … let’s see, 55% for Santorum, which is DOUBLE Mitt Romney’s second place finish. Meanwhile, in the “near the Mormons” state of [...]
Look at Mitt Romney in South Carolina today trying so hard to operate a small container of laundry detergent like he knows how it works, AW. No no, Mitt, the machine does not have change for a fifty, QUIT jamming the bill into the coin slot. Sigh. What were the other candidates up to?
Everything is settled in the Carolinas and Mississippi or wherever, correct? There is a very detailed liveblog from Secret Jim Newell (Jack Stuef), mentioning baseball and a way to bring Facebook to Haiti. Let’s! Why should Facebook be limited to islands/nations with buildings or electricity? So then, Utah. Remember when Republican icon _____ Bennett (let’s [...]
Is it already night-time in the Arkansas-Iowa-Utah portion of Real America? Yes! And thanks to Wonkette veteran Princess Sparkle Pony for posting this blingee he made for Blanche Lincoln, who is now LOSING, with 60% of the vote counted. She’s only got 49%, and that’s apparently “less than 50%” and that means let’s start the [...]
What is happening tonight?! As usual, nobody knows anything because the polls have just closed on the East Coast and we are many hours away from polls closing on the West Coast and who knows what’s happening in Arkansas? (We actually know! Polls have closed, and few were even open, the better to beat Blanche [...]
From New Jersey to South Carolina, Maine to Arkansas, Northern California to Southern California, tonight will be the most explosive Primary Election of June 2010, and you can be there, live, by simply being wherever you are, and following the news while drinking! This is what we call Liveblogging In America, and we hope you’ll [...]
Who is Blanche Lincoln? That’s the question the editors of the U.S. News & World Report website are asking on this post-MTV awards day, and we can’t help wonder, too: Who is Blanche Lincoln? Who is she, and what does she want from us? And by “us,” do we mean “banking executives” or “maybe people [...]
BLANCHE LINCOLN MUST SUFFER HUMILIATING RUNOFF: With 43% of the precincts reporting, it seems Senator Blanche Lincoln will continue having difficulty voting, as she will have to do a run-off against Lieutenant Governor Bill Halter, because right now it’s Lincoln 44%-Halter 42%. But she is expected to win the runoff, and maybe win her seat [...]
Well, this will go down in Liveblogging History as “the night we shouldn’t have bothered,” but what the hell, let’s wrap it up. This liveblog will continue until ALL THE VOTES ARE COUNTED, or when we go to bed, whichever comes first. Meanwhile: Is Lost Island all a hologram? Only Jim Newell knows for sure. [...]
Can you believe after all these years/months, the career of Arlen Specter and/or the hit teevee show I’m Lost finally ends, right now? Let’s liveblog the greatest election ever in mid-May 2010. Rand Paul is already the absolute King of Kentucky, and all new hillbilly children will be named “Ayn,” but what about the 80-year-old [...]
Wonkette operative Bearbloke just sent the newsroom a very troubling message: “My mate in California informed me that his father is a FULL-BLOWN Birther candidate for the U.S. Senate from Kentucky, running for Sen. Bunning’s seat in today’s primary election!” Check out Gurley Martin, who has two loves: fine ass women and fancy cars. But [...]
