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Posts Tagged ‘primaries’

Clinton Negotiating Debt With Obama?

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

Buckets of money lie in futureThe nation’s most historic nomination race in the history of History may be coming to an end today, but probably not, because Hillary Clinton can’t call it quits until she has figured out how to get her campaign out of tens of millions of dollars of debt. According to one shadowy source, the reason she’s staying in the race is “not about the vice-presidency or any other position she might get. It’s about the money – in particular the Clinton family money.” She shouldn’t worry too much, though, because a mere eight years ago Bill left office with an estimated $12 million in debt — and presto, after less than a decade of whoring around with Ron Burkle he’s back on top of the world! What will Hillary do to recoup her own debts, short of selling her hair and teeth? MORE »


Liveblogging The Kentucky Rodeo (Of Politics)

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

Famous Kentuckian Hunter S. ThompsonWith every passing Tuesday the Democratic party gets closer to cutting the Gordian knot that is its Presidential nominating contest. In other words, Hillary Clinton will win Kentucky, Barack Obama will win Oregon, and Pat Buchanan will lose his mind (again) on MSNBC tonight. Join us as we watch the early evening madness, with a glass of Kentucky bourbon in each fist! MORE »


Evening Entertainment: Wonkette Liveblogs Two Mid-Major State Primaries!

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

This is a screen shot from a famous computer game called The Oregon Trail. This game is literally the only famous thing about Oregon, except for a few mediocre indie pop bands. Despite its overall irrelevancy, however, Oregon will host one of tonight’s two primaries. The other state is Kentucky, where horses come to die and leave corny extended metaphors in their wake. Your Wonkette will obviously be liveblogging the proceedings tonight, starting around 6:30 or 6:45 Eastern (polls close in Kentucky at 7:00 Eastern, shortly before the state’s “Chicken Supper Time.”) Loser Oregon does not close until 11:00 Eastern, but Obama is giving a speech around 8:30, so we will Never Rest.


Barack Obama Says ‘Sorry For The Sexist Name-Calling’

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

All apologiesRemember that time yesterday when Barack Obama acted like a Texas waitress and called that young female reporter “sweetie”? Well, he left her a contrite voicemail promising never to call her that terrible word again. The full transcript after the jump. MORE »


Chelsea Clinton Barred From Campaigning At Bombing Range

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

No bombs for the one in the jacketThe young lass who just a few short years ago wowed the world by dodging sniper fire in Bosnia will not be able to deliver a repeat performance dodging bombs in Puerto Rico because people in the Navy are mean.
For those of you who were alive way back in the late 1990s, you will recall that Vieques is a little spot in Puerto Rico the military used to bomb the shit out of, for practice, and people protested it occasionally until a bomb killed a security guard and they shut the whole thing down. MORE »


Liveblogging Hillary Clinton’s Best Victory Speech Of The Year

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Victory!Mary Lou Retton also hails from the fair state of West Virginia. And if Hillary Clinton were an athlete, she would be Mary Lou Retton in a fetching flag-themed leotard. What does Mary Lou Clinton have to say to the voters of West Virginia? Click the clicky and find out! MORE »


Still Liveblogging The ‘Leave No Country Road Behind’ Primary

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Look, we speak Bitterese: Hilry done gone inna West Virginnie done won it ‘gainst the colored man. Colored man naw gon win no West Virginnie, haw haw, yeeeeesh siree. Done hear Hillary lost big ‘lection already, but we ain’t ne’er votin’ no Mooslim terror-starter inna our WHITE House. Don’t make none sense like, but I guess not much do these a’days. MORE »


Join Us Tonight For The West Virginia Primary Spectacular!

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

He voted for McCain.Nope, the primary season still isn’t over — and tonight the Democrats’ Death March to the White House leads straight through West Virginia, whose oppressed citizens only get to vote once a day. Grab a liter of grain alcohol, a six-pack of Grape Nehi, some squirrel jerky, and your favorite semiautomatic firearm on your way home from work and we’ll see you back here tonight.