Tag: primaries

OK that headline may be overselling this a little bit. Hillary Clinton is 67, and she is a white grandma lady, so we can forgive her for...

The last primaries of 2014 took place last night, and there's a fun upset-not-upset in the mix! Up in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (God...

We did not listen to Rand Paul’s Rand Paul Party Response to the State of the Union last night, so we are not sure...

Dan Quayle's weird kid, Congressman Ben, has had a long, fruitful tour through the halls of American power. He made his name writing pornography...

After 36 years in the Senate, Indiana's Dick Lugar will likely see his political career end tonight for the simple reason that he's talked...

Newt, Newt, our hero Newt, what are you talking about? Weren't we supposed to ride this train all the way to Tampa and fuck...

Hi. Tonight we are reminded that this country has 50 states and even some territories, and each must have her chance to say, "Ahem"...

What's Jeb Bush, OLLLLL' JEBBIE, up to these days besides being rich and Mexican? He's not running for president, despite many urgings, because "his...

Ahhh, so THIS is Mittens' plan to win the state he very much needs to win, Michigan: Driving around in a motorcar, through the...

Whoa hey, look at those numbers in Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado for Mittens. Two out of three isn't so bad. And the sheer numbers...

Rick Santorum is going to ruin America tonight! No but listen: The nominating contests in Colorado, Missouri, and Minnesota tonight are non-binding, inconsequential in...

Mittens-hating muffin is noooot too psyched about what happened in Florida on Tuesday. HE LOST. GOODBYE. Oh, you're still here. Instead of accepting that...

Mitt Romney, most undeserving and unexcited winner of the Florida primary since at least 2004, was utterly bored out of his skull during his...

President "The President" "Born in the U.S.A." "Here to Stay" Obama is required to appear at an administrative court hearing in Atlanta on Thursday...

Mitt Crazy Eyes/9000/My Twinn Doll Romney has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire primary, seizing 37.3 percent of the vote, according to...

Republican fringe-moderate candidate Jon Huntsman sent out an e-mail to supporters the other day announcing that he would match any donations received until midnight...

Wonkette Primary! Vote!


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