Wonkette

Today is New York City’s “Poem in Your Pocket Day,” the most elitist holiday in America (besides San Francisco on any given Friday). And the latest America’s Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has penned a glorious poem for his pocket in celebration. It is called “Press Conference,” and the gist of it is that Press Conferences are terrible. It rhymes too! How post-postmodern. MORE »

While other Republican candidates for president were off wife-roping and campaigning this weekend, John McCain retired to a secluded ranch in Sedona Arizona and gathered near his most cherished press contacts so that they could finally be alone together and talk about where their relationship was going. He forbade political conversation on this somber and sacred weekend, preferring instead to focus on important things such as “dry rubs.” MORE »

It’s been a while since we last checked in on White House press secretary Dana Perino, America’s greatest asset. Do you think she’s learned what the Cuban Missile Crisis was since then? Probably not, since she is not smart. Yesterday’s press briefing took on the FISA surveillance extension — the one that those House Democrats refuse to make exactly into what George W. Bush wants, the traitors. Someone asked Dana if the Republicans were maybe going overboard by saying the Democrats’ stubbornness puts America at grave risk, since intelligence agencies can still “spy” and then get retroactive warrants. Dana responds that she knows nothing about the law. MORE »

OK, no more “promises” about when stuff appears. Let’s just say Ron Paul is a flirt and Tom Tancredo thinks Liz needs to learn a thing or two about what “racism” means. We’re in the lobby of the Manchester Radisson now, somehow on the set of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, with the Dennis Kucinich campaign team (very nice people!) on one side and Chris “Rangoon” Matthews (avoid! avoid!) on the other. As it turns out this is the only way to get Internets in the state of New Hamsters. MORE »

We sent Gawker videographer and resident evil genius Richard Blakeley to cover Sen. Hillary Clinton’s 60th birthday bash at New York’s Beacon Theater last night. Security goons wouldn’t allow video cameras inside, so Blakeley was forced to use words to explain the bovine press process, his Larry Craig moment and his own personal and deeply wrong lust for Chelsea Clinton. To give your peeps something to feast on, we’ve included a nice gallery of photos. After the jump, the story. MORE »

The Bush Administration’s preliminary reactions to the Supreme Court’s ruling in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld are in — and they’re not terribly exciting or surprising.

At a press conference earlier today with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, President Bush got peppered with questions about the decision. Pretty much every non-Asian journalist in the room asked about Hamdan. Bush said that “we take them [the Supreme Court] very seriously.” Glad to hear it; so do we. He also stated that “we will conform to the Supreme Court.” Nothing controversial there.

Tony Snow’s PM presser wasn’t much more exciting. Every journalist present tried to get Snow to admit that the SCOTUS handed the White House its ass on a platter. But Snow didn’t take the bait, refusing to admit that the executive branch got housed by the judiciary. Quoth Tony: “You don’t sit around going, ‘Oh my gosh, the Supreme Court ruling!’ You try and deal with it.”

A few more remarks, after the jump.

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You’ve seen their names on countless press releases over the years. And now they’ve married each other, so they can make lots of beautiful media advisories together: MORE »

Last night, Team Wonkette rubbed elbows with the D.C. media elite, at the third annual presentation of the Michael Kelly Award:

The $25,000 award is given annually to a journalist whose work exemplifies a quality that animated Michael Kelly’s own career: the fearless pursuit and expression of truth. Kelly, who was the editor of two Atlantic Media publications, The Atlantic Monthly and National Journal, was killed while covering the war in Iraq in 2003.

It was a delightful evening, definitely one of the better parties that we’ve crashed attended lately. As media junkies, our heads were left spinning from all the star-spotting: Peggy Noonan! Adam Nagourney! Howard Fineman! Gwen Ifill! Matt Cooper! (But where was FROOMKIN???)

After the jump, additional commentary on the evening — plus fabulous photos, by Liz Gorman. Enjoy!

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Sometimes he gets into nasty little spats with them. But for the most part, Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee just loves the news media. MORE »

This morning’s White House pool report is a real gem — and it’s short, so we won’t even put it on a jump page. Here it is: MORE »