Hi! Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by signing up for an Ad-Fewer Subscription, throwing us a couple bucks a month, or disabling your ad blocker.

Tag: press releases

All the cool kids in Muncie wear these

Indiana Governor To Start Very Own Pravda, Hooray!

We will comment on this further as soon as we manage to pick our jaws up off the floor: Gov. Mike Pence is starting a state-run taxpayer-funded news outlet that will make pre-written news stories available to Indiana media, as...

Wingnuts May Not Believe in Climate Change, But Insurance Companies Sure Do

Ugh, unwashed godless free market-hating ecoterrorist hippie cabal "the insurance industry" is whining about global warming, according to this press release just in from Bernie Sanders' office. Oh just go make out with a bunch of dolphins, brainwashed hippies: Property...

Michele Bachmann Apparently First Republican To Hate Mexicans

We get so many ridiculous press releases every day, we're going to start featuring them in this new unintentional comedy section, "Press Releases Without Comment." TO: tips@wonkette.com DATE: Wed, Aug 17, 2011 at 5:15 AM Press Release: Michele Bachmann First To Make...

GOP Debate Winner Barack Obama Says No More Press Releases

If you watched last night's horror movie about what will happen when the world explodes in 2012, then maybe you are thinking to yourself, "That Barack Obama, he may be a secret Muslin terrorizing the economy, but maybe he...

Breathless ABC News Press Release: Our Cameras Caught Gabby Giffords!

Here's a disgusting little "BREAKING" press release we just got: "Hey guys – Wanted to make sure you saw these first pictures of Gabrielle Giffords since the tragic shooting. Please link back to story and video below if you...

The Global Conspiracy Is Complete: Glenn Beck Leaving Fox News Show

According to a press release, Glenn Beck is officially going to "transition off" his show later this year and will no longer be seen by the few remaining holdouts holed up in official Glenn Beck-brand bomb shelters across the...

Science, Technology Combine To Produce Imporant Political Breakthrough

Today in the "comical e-mail press releases that make for easy posts" file we have this, the latest terrible Twitter thing about nothing. Apparently Bob McDonnell is an asexual robot while Creigh Deeds is a suicidal pederast, on Twitter:...

Keith Olbermann To Yell Without Interruption For Full Hour Tomorrow

For those of you who like terrible Keith Olbermann, because he was the "only television host to make you happy during the Bush Administration," tomorrow's your lucky night, according to this frightening press release: "NEW YORK – Oct. 6,...

Does Butts Embarrass Barack Obama?

Now here's a wacky thing! The Transition team issued a release today announcing a bunch of new mid-level White House staffers (Deputy assistant director of truck nutz, etc.), and there's a strange inconsistency with the style of the staffer...

Liberal WONKETT Blog Tries To ‘FAIL’ That ‘Thank You George W. Bush’ Website

Few e-mails -- especially press releases! -- have ever been so deserving of a Gmail Star. Oh, GAHH, this was for "Immediate Release" and we're 11 hours late! Sorry! Onward. Oh my god: On Monday December 8th, Liberal websites such...

Screw Gold Or T-Notes, PUT YOUR MONEY IN PORNO

"With a large mainstream budget and dazzling special effects, 'Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge' is both an epic blockbuster for the ages, and a sexy, erotic adult film that consumers and distributors are fervent to get a hold of. 'Pirates...

John Kerry Plans Genocide?

Oh look, it's past one o'clock on any day, which means John Kerry has just e-mailed all of Washington his 64th press release of the early afternoon. And what is it about? Murder. MURRRRRDER.