You people thought we were joking about the random black and crippled guilt-bait Blago brought on stage during his press conference, but here they are, alongside, you know, a DEAD ILLINOIS CHILD to whom Blago had tried to deliver cheap prescription drugs, only to find that the evil state legislature had already murdered the child with ear poison. And they want to impeach Blago for a murder they committed?? [NYT]

Congrats to Roland Burris, who’s set to become the first African-American officeholder of any kind in our nation’s history. Harry “Jefferson Davis” Reid vowed to stop any black man from having a job on his watch, but Burris stared him down for ~3 seconds until Reid folded, which he does all the time, because he’s a pussy. Burris then gave another one of his fun press conferences! MORE »

Here’s another brilliant press conference with everyone’s favorite death monument of a U.S. Senator, Roland “Don’t Lynch Me” Burris, who’s talking to the media at an airport shortly before his flight to Washington. Because he’s coming! The reporters ask him questions for eight minutes and he tells them all to shut the hell up, for eight minutes. MORE »

Here’s CNN’s coverage of the wacky Kipling-inspired Blago press conference, in which the governor of Illinois is on cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine. And for those of you who didn’t understand our constant exclamations about Rick Sanchez’s Twitter in the liveblog, well, pay attention. It is the best possible thing to happen on cable teevee, showing crazy Internet peoples’ comments during actual news events. One of the last ones sums up the hilarity: “sundaycosmetics: Are u taking story ideas fm Twitter?” [YouTube]

The news has decided to stop today, because Thanksgiving is tomorrow. So uh here is a video clip from when was it, the other day, when John McCain gave his first press conference since the Presidential election. Once again we must remark on how much more relaxed and normal-seeming he is now that he no longer has to fear actually winning the public office he spent his whole life looking forward to losing. Also WHAT’S UP CAMERA GUY AROUND THE ONE-MINUTE MARK. [First Read, MSNBC]

Dudes… she is a gem. Sarah Palin. She gave a press conference yesterday — her first national press conference, ever — as part of the Republican Governors’ Association conference in the latest move for her nascent 2012 campaign. MORE »

Who is the most temperamental, childish, stunt-driven candidate in the 2008 election? If you answered WALNUTS!, you’re close, but you are still wrong. The answer is Ralph Nader, who, coincidentally, also has the worst hummus recipe of any candidate for high public office. Today Nader held a press conference and refused to supply more than a one-word answer to every question. This was a “statement,” apparently, on the “sound-byte nature of election coverage.” MORE »

America’s president, George W. Bush, was supposed to go to a fundraiser today but he had to stay home and send Dick Cheney in his stead to stand around the buffet table and shovel shrimp cocktail into his pockets. Why? Because of the economy, which George Bush is “concerned” about! He even talked about it, on the teevee. MORE »

Finally, Barry is holding a Big Time press conference about Reverend Wright, and it’s on all the teevee channels! He is SO ANGRY that he even said “I am angry.” He’s just starting to take questions now, so let’s liveblog this annoying spectacle. (UPDATE: Video of Obama’s angry opening statement at the end). MORE »

Bill Clinton actually thinks Obama is running against him, which may or may not be true. Who else would he run against, the wife? Women can’t be president. In response to a question about which of The Clintons Barry was running against, President Bill responded: MORE »

Hey everybody, turns out Dick Cheney is in pretty good health after all — pretty good for a vengeance demon yanked from his native hell dimension, anyway! MORE »