Ok, we’re going to agree with Howard Mortman. This might be the dumbest press briefing question ever: MORE »

“The speech will be like a medicine cabinet full of bennies.” MORE »

From yesterday’s (apparently hysterical) press briefing: MORE »

Tony Snow, at yesterday’s briefing: MORE »

* The Senate confirmation hearings for soon-to-be CIA Director Michael Hayden began this week. In the great tradition of the adult film industry, there will be two versions of the hearing; one for cable and one for pay-per-view, er, Senate Members’ Ears Only. We were actually pretty relieved that the hardcore hearings were closed, that shit was long enough. Finally, the denouement: he’s an idiot. MORE »

Did anyone ever find a copy of this?

1:13 — Well, that’s it. He was pretty comfortable up there, didn’t fuck up too badly and caught himself when he did. The Sally Field thing was the first unexpected and unscripted White House Briefing Room event in god knows how long, at least. He should cry every week. Tony Snow: Not as testy and acidic and hatable as Ari, not as easy a target as Scott. BUT HE HAD CANCER.

1:10 — So we got 2 minutes of emotional dramatic monologue, not back to fucking immigration. Why won’t Bush convince hardcore conservatives on the guest-working program? Aren’t they the guys who want an army of cheap brown labor? Kinsolving with a weird contraception question that seems to throw Tony off. Tony says “Thank you” then tries to call on someone else. Jesus christ this immigration thing is boring. “Mexico is not our enemy,” in case you were wondering. That’s what they said in 1846, right?

1:00 — A Rove question leads straight back to the foreign press. Malveaux want to know what Bush meant when he said we won’t “discriminate” against Mexicans. Tough one. Will the briefings continue to be televised? No answer yet.

OH NO DID THE PRESIDENT’S SPEECH LEAD TO THOUSANDS OF SALVADORIANS HEADING OUR WAY?

Why the yellow bracelet?

“I HAD CANCER LAST YEAR.”

OH SHIT TEARS.

“My Ed Muskie moment.” Wow. Weirdest White House Press Briefing EVER.

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Every now and then, we tune in to the Pentagon briefings given by Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. Today’s briefing, while not as entertaining as the one from last month — you know, the one where Rummy took a swipe at Maureen Dowd — had its moments. MORE »

In this afternoon’s Pentagon briefing, Donald Rumsfeld engaged in a lot of what William Safire has dubbed “tautophrasal evasion.” Here are some excerpts (paraphrased; we don’t have a transcript yet): MORE »

We’ve already shared with you the best part of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s Pentagon briefing: his slap at the saucy Maureen Dowd. But there were some other interesting or amusing moments in today’s press conference.

Today’s conference didn’t seem like a fun one for Secretary Rumsfeld. He stood at the podium looking constipated and squinty, like someone driving on a sunny day without shades. He spent much of the briefing on the defensive, responding to largely hostile questions from the pool (except for that softball about the hostage release — which he didn’t make very much of, strangely enough).

Several of Secretary Rumsfeld’s lines cry out for rejoinders (again, these are paraphrased, but they should be pretty close):

“Iraq needs a good government, a competent government, a government that governs from the center.”

And what about America?

More choice quotes appear after the jump.

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We’ll have more to say later about Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s press briefing at the Pentagon, which is currently going on. But we wanted to pass along this priceless exchange as soon as possible (paraphrased; we don’t have the transcript yet): MORE »

“Today, as White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan picked buckshot out of his own hide…”
-Slate MORE »