Wonkette

Thanks to PeteJayHawk for reminding us of this greatest ever sing-a-long video biography of our Founding Father, from a couple years back. Play it for your kids, or your parents, and Never Forget the Father of Your Country. Happy Presidents Day. (DO NOT TURN UP THE SPEAKERS AT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A SPECIAL KIND OF BOSS.)

It is the Presidents Day Sale Day, of course, which is why you’re not at work reading Wonkette. But experts say the federal holiday is actually to remember one of the first American presidents, George Washington. Let’s remember the good times and the bad, like when his 300 African slaves tried to kill his wife. MORE »

Happy, happy Presidents Day, Mister President who is hiding in Africa for some reason. Here are your subjects, the Americans. They are all idiots. Also: Why are foreigners being allowed to complain about you on the STREETS OF 9/11? [Farewell Mr. President]

Are you reading this early Monday morning? Chances are you don’t have the Presidents Day Holiday off from work. Congratulations, because Wonkette has to work, too. Election 2008 will not pause for some pointless remembrance of a couple of dead presidents who founded the country or started the Civil War or whatever. We have cars to buy, on credit, but at some kind of potential discount! (Sorry about everything, George Washington and Abe Lincoln.) [Why Tuesday?]

George Washington was a towering figure of the American Revolution, which we won. He was so beloved that even the staunchest supporters of the new republican democracy (or democratic republic) were stunned when he didn’t proclaim himself king of the new nation, instead returning home to Mount Vernon where he intended to be a private citizen — until the other Founding Fathers and the citizenry convinced him to serve as president. MORE »

* S.V. Dáte talks about Jeb at P&P. “For eight years, Palm Beach Post reporter Dáte covered George W.’s younger brother in the Florida State House. He developed a deep distaste for Jeb Bush’s autocratic and obsessively secret ruling style. Dáte believes that it’s not a matter of if Jeb runs, but when.” Free at 7PM. [P&P]
* An evening of short films called “Stateless Cinema Hails Our Chiefs, Past and Present, This President’s Day” at the Black Cat. Several shorts about George W. Bush and one by the fascinating Paul Chan. $7 at 9PM. [Black Cat]
* Honor yourself and the alienation your human/machine lifestyle has caused with 2001: A Space Odyssey at AFI. $9.50 at 9PM. [AFI]

Happy three-day weekend! Here’s what’s going on, in case you’re one of those idiots dumb enough to be at work today: MORE »

Here is some fun MLK Jr. trivia the Main Stream Media won’t tell you: Did you know Dr. King is one of only four humans honored with a U.S. holiday all to themselves?

Thomas Jefferson doesn’t get one, and neither does Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, John Adams or Thomas Paine. Even presidents who were assassinated by Sinister Forces don’t get federal holidays: Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley and John F. Kennedy have been utterly forgotten.

More facts and the greatest painting ever, after the jump.

MORE »