Did you know that according to THE LAW, this holiday is simply called “Washington’s Birthday” and not “President’s Day,” as the mattress stores and car dealers have taught you to believe. According to one person on the Internet, the misconception — like most misconceptions, as well as abortion — stems from some liberals getting together back in the day and trying to ruin America. MORE »

Remember your greatest first president, in style! Play it for your kids, or your parents, and Never Forget the Father of Your Country, as presented by the great Austin-American artist Brad Neely, on a teevee show at some point? Happy Presidents Day. (DO NOT TURN UP THE SPEAKERS AT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A SPECIAL KIND OF BOSS.) [YouTube]

It’s the Presidents’ Day Sale Day, of course, which is why you’re not at work reading Wonkette. But experts say the federal holiday is actually to remember one of the first American presidents, George Washington. Let’s remember the good times and the bad, like when his 300 African slaves tried to kill his wife. MORE »

PLUS THAT GIANT STONE PHALLUS: “Was this man, George Washington, truly our greatest president? No, not at all! Most historians put him in the ‘Top 50,’ at best. But he was the first president, of America, and for that we honor his service to our country.” [AOL Political Machine]

Thanks to PeteJayHawk for reminding us of this greatest ever sing-a-long video biography of our Founding Father, from a couple years back. Play it for your kids, or your parents, and Never Forget the Father of Your Country. Happy Presidents Day. (DO NOT TURN UP THE SPEAKERS AT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A SPECIAL KIND OF BOSS.)

It is the Presidents Day Sale Day, of course, which is why you’re not at work reading Wonkette. But experts say the federal holiday is actually to remember one of the first American presidents, George Washington. Let’s remember the good times and the bad, like when his 300 African slaves tried to kill his wife. MORE »

Are you reading this early Monday morning? Chances are you don’t have the Presidents Day Holiday off from work. Congratulations, because Wonkette has to work, too. Election 2008 will not pause for some pointless remembrance of a couple of dead presidents who founded the country or started the Civil War or whatever. We have cars to buy, on credit, but at some kind of potential discount! (Sorry about everything, George Washington and Abe Lincoln.) [Why Tuesday?]

George Washington was a towering figure of the American Revolution, which we won. He was so beloved that even the staunchest supporters of the new republican democracy (or democratic republic) were stunned when he didn’t proclaim himself king of the new nation, instead returning home to Mount Vernon where he intended to be a private citizen — until the other Founding Fathers and the citizenry convinced him to serve as president. MORE »

* S.V. Dáte talks about Jeb at P&P. “For eight years, Palm Beach Post reporter Dáte covered George W.’s younger brother in the Florida State House. He developed a deep distaste for Jeb Bush’s autocratic and obsessively secret ruling style. Dáte believes that it’s not a matter of if Jeb runs, but when.” Free at 7PM. [P&P]
* An evening of short films called “Stateless Cinema Hails Our Chiefs, Past and Present, This President’s Day” at the Black Cat. Several shorts about George W. Bush and one by the fascinating Paul Chan. $7 at 9PM. [Black Cat]
* Honor yourself and the alienation your human/machine lifestyle has caused with 2001: A Space Odyssey at AFI. $9.50 at 9PM. [AFI]

Happy three-day weekend! Here’s what’s going on, in case you’re one of those idiots dumb enough to be at work today: MORE »