Tag: presidential race

Some Chick ‘Made History’ On Super Tuesday, We Guess

Maybe you do not like her. Maybe you hate her. Maybe you think she is untrustworthy, unlikable, unelectable, unwhateverable. She is too stiff and double-entendre frigid. She is too crybaby emotional and shouty and shrill. She travelgated to Whitewater to drown-murder Vince Foster...

Guess Who Wants A Peek At Donald Trump’s Tax Returns!

It's time for a 2012 election flashback! Won't that be fun! As if you are not already weary/terrified enough of the current election cycle, but just trust us on this one, OK? OK. Remember when Mitt Romney was running? You remember...

Ben Carson Vows To Continue Winning Streak In South Carolina Primary

Oh, to have the utter confidence of Ben Carson. This is a confidence that surpasseth understanding. It is a confidence completely unrelated to any external indicators. In short, it is a confidence completely divorced from reality. You may remember...

New Pew Poll Shows End Of Democratic Party As We Know It

PANIC, MOTHERFUCKERS! A new Pew poll shows Romney up four (49-45%) with likely voters following last week's debate. According to Twitter, blah blah sampling women Midwest Chuck Todd just DMed me and it was hot, but basically Obama has permanently...

Don’t Worry, Republicans, We Have Found These Awesome Made-Up Polls For You

If you're a Romney supporter, you likely look with sadness and disdain upon the current state of political polling, which has consistently failed for weeks to show your guy with a lead.  In fact, the last time Mitt Romney...