presidential debate

Oh Mittens. Why couldn’t you just get fat and sassy and grow a beard like other presidential losers, huh? Oh that’s right – because staying out of the public eye and not griping about being a sore loserman takes class, and perhaps that program hasn’t been uploaded yet. Instead, you are still rehashing things that […]

There has been, perhaps, no transgression in American debate history worse than when, in the middle of Tuesday’s townhall debate, Candy Crowley swung from the rafters and literally probably shot Mitt Romney in the back of the head by correcting him, according to Tucker Carlson.

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an “act of terror” for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he was gloriously, spectacularly wrong. ROMNEY: I want to make sure we get that for the record […]

There’s a conspiracy afoot, kid detectives! After the debate, the networks posted “transcripts” of the debate. “What’s a transcript?” your dumb friend might ask. Well, a transcript is when someone writes down everything people said and then you cite from it on the internet! Well, Fox News “transcribed” the debate last night, but there was […]

Hi, drunkards! Tonight, in case you didn’t know, is America’s First 2012 Presidential Debate, during which two men will stand on stage and be hectored and/or coddled by Jim Lehrer in a spectacle that matches no version of the word “debate” as the English language has come to commonly define it. Well, we here at […]

Seriously, what was up with that super boring debate last night? John McCain was supposed to call Barack Obama a terrorist pal, and then Barack Obama was supposed to say “Hey man that is just wrong” and rip off McCain’s testicles and sauté them gently before feeding them to Tom Brokaw with un sauce béarnaise […]