Tag Archives: presidential campaign

  don't you forget about me

Michele Bachmann Demands To Know Why You Aren’t Begging To Know Her 2016 Plans

She may run for president. Or she take up llama waltzing.
Look, would all you lamepants lamers in the lamestream media just stop obsessing about that dumb plane with the Dutchmen on it, and those dumb brown children, and pay attention to something important, like whether Michele Bachmann will run for president again on her popular “What About Me?” platform. Real Clear Politics actually asked old Crazy Eyes whether she planned another run, which she took as a signal to whine about how no one is talking about her possible presidential aspirations: “The only thing that the media has speculated on is that it’s going to be various men that are running … They haven’t speculated, for instance, that I’m going to run. What if I decide to run? And there’s a chance I could run.” Yeah, guys. She really might run. She’s not saying she’s gonna run for sure, but she might. Really. A run for president. By 2012 Presidential Candidate Michele Bachman. Who ran for president once, and may again. Why aren’t people talking about that, huh? It’s because you all hate conservative women, you haters. Read more on Michele Bachmann Demands To Know Why You Aren’t Begging To Know Her 2016 Plans…
  rumors on the internets

The President’s Famous And Farming Is Hot

It’s Friday! Lounge in some articles about presidential legacies, lazy candidates, and a changing farming industry. Here’s an article about why presidents shouldn’t be concerned about how they will look when they go down in history. We’re pretty sure the main thing history is going to remember about President Obama is he was the first black president to love gay people! That is, until another one of those comes along and we remember he signed off on the “indefinite detention” act. [The Atlantic] Read more on The President’s Famous And Farming Is Hot…
  rumors on the internets

Celebrities Destroying America, According to Television

According to the news today, the GOP hates celebrities, hates television, and hates words. St. Ronald Reagan would be so ashamed. The GOP doesn’t like it when Obama uses celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker or Anna Wintour in his campaign, but they all fall over themselves over Donald Trump! See, the real problem is that no one cares about these celebrities anyway. Well, okay. Maybe Carrie Bradshaw, but you know people who watch a TV show about women in New York are a bunch of Obama-lovers anyway. [The Daily Beast] Read more on Celebrities Destroying America, According to Television…
  but he likes it

Mitt Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned from Firing People

I like to learn a fun fact every day, and today I learned TWO fun facts! One is that people still actually read Time, and two is that Romneybot 6000 doesn’t have a scripted response to questions about what he learned from Bain or how Bain in any way qualifies him to be the president of the Greatest Country on Earth. He does, however, know that he has two of the most important qualifications there are: he was born in the United States, and he knows exactly how many people you have to fire to make a businesses grow. From that commie liberal rag the New York Times: “I’d like to have a provision in the Constitution,” he recalled [some guy] saying, “that in addition to the age of the president and the citizenship of the president and the birthplace of the president being set by the Constitution, I’d like it also to say that the president has to spend at least three years working in business before he could become president of the United States.” Mr. Romney did not endorse the idea, but he seemed to like it. He liked it because “working in business,” unlike, presumably, the kind of work that OTHER PEOPLE DO (*cough*Ann Romney*cough*) helps you understand exactly how you have to screw over workers in order to pursue an inflated bottom line for the suits at the top. Read more on Mitt Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned from Firing People…
  we almost peed with excitement

Movie Presidential Candidate George Clooney Forced To Clarify He’s Not Actually Running

Sorry, George Clooney, you will have to spell this one out. These are entertainment reporters, guy. Clooney’s idealistic presidential candidate, Pennsylvania Gov. Mike Morris, has a straightforward platform: He’s nonreligious but defends the freedom of religion. He also opposes the death penalty and wants to phase out internal combustion engines to reduce American dependence on foreign oil. Read more on Movie Presidential Candidate George Clooney Forced To Clarify He’s Not Actually Running…
 

Lawsuit: Publisher Fired To Protect Giuliani!

According to a $100-million defamation lawsuit filed in New York Supreme Court against Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp., former HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan alleges company brass instructed her to lie to federal investigators to protect Rudy Giuliani’s presidential bid, and that she was a victim of a smear campaign helmed by former boyfriend Bernie Kerik. “The smear campaign was necessary to advance News Corp.’s political agenda, which has long centered on protecting Rudy Giuliani’s presidential ambitions,” Regan said in the complaint filed yesterday. Read more on Lawsuit: Publisher Fired To Protect Giuliani!…