president obama
Ricin Letters Might Have Been Clumsy Frame-Up, Script Treatment For Coen Brothers Movie
Remember last week when someone mailed a letter containing ricin to President Obama and a Mississippi senator, and it was only about the tenth-most-interesting story going on at the time? And then the guy accused of doing it, Paul Kevin Curtis, turned out to be nuttier than a bag of nuts? And then the cops [...]
President Obama To Eat Live Fetuses on TV Or Something Like That
Clutch your pearls and bring out the smelling salts, because this is sure to make fetus fetishists get all faint and outraged and stabby (or clinic bomby — for life, of course): Planned Parenthood Federation of America announced today that President Barack Obama will deliver the keynote address at the organization’s annual gala dinner in [...]
Objective News Anchor Wishes Obama Would Tell His Elitist Hollywood Scum Friends to End Gun Violence Forever
Campbell Brown is a former CNN anchor and Objective Journalist who is extremely concerned that President Obama isn’t doing enough to combat gun violence. So she took to the always-objective Wall Street Journal editorial page to give the president some objective advice: The president’s campaign against gun violence has produced a stale debate marked by [...]
Journey To The Center Of The Derp: Ted Nugent Tries To Mash All Wingnut Buttons At Once
Ted Nugent. Yes Ted Nugent and do not start yelling lovely commenters, because maybe he says this crazy shit all of the time, but this time he has joined up for an interview with a radio talking guy who is just as wingnutted and wrong as him, and they hit every single rile-up-a-redneck-talking point there [...]
Obama’s Sweet Ride Breaks Down In Israel Because The Wingnuts Needed A New Metaphor
Happy Israel Day! Yes! The President is in the Holy Land for the first time ever you guys, and it is so exciting and full of love and Scientology-style billion-year-contracts of eternal and forever alliances, and oh my God, what is wrong with your sweet ride, Pres O? “We experienced mechanical trouble with one of [...]
Very Sane Tea Party Man Warns Of Obama’s Army Of Blacks
Ever wonder what is really behind all this “they deserve a vote, let’s all stop killing each other, no more crazy guns everywhere all the time” nonsense push for “rational” gun policies in America? Ever thought it might all just be a ploy to give the President an excuse to begin the violent race wars [...]
Everyone Go Sign Mitt Romney’s ‘Stop Hitting Me’ Petition
Mitt Romney has a never-ending list of complaints about things President Obama is not allowed to criticize him on — Medicare, his business career, taxes, things of that nature — but the Obama campaign simply won’t stop. The only way to stop this now is to get the people involved. We must all sign this [...]
The President’s Famous And Farming Is Hot
It’s Friday! Lounge in some articles about presidential legacies, lazy candidates, and a changing farming industry. Here’s an article about why presidents shouldn’t be concerned about how they will look when they go down in history. We’re pretty sure the main thing history is going to remember about President Obama is he was the first [...]
China Didn’t Want Those Dumb American Jobs Anyway
Your morning news: this time with a main dish of weird news that Americans have finally begun stealing jobs back from China, a side of old news (yeah, yeah, Bush is annoying) and a dessert of future news (everyone’s going to be on Facebook soon!). America is actually stealing jobs from China. Someone explain this [...]
Get Ready To Get Down At Some Gay Weddings At Mitt Romney’s House!
This Thursday, Mitt Romney’s unlikable, Bill Clinton’s talking some awkward talk, and Barack Obama is making money. This is news? Unlike Bill Clinton, Mitt Romney is a terrible neighbor. Somehow he is gentrifying his already rich neighborhood and alienating his gay neighbors. He clearly needs to throw a huge, weird party with celebrities and funny [...]
Let’s All Get Gay Married On A Base On The Moon
Today, people are re-thinking same-sex marriage and moon bases, and selling off movie theaters. Wait, what? Is this the future? Where’s my jetpack? Same-sex marriage opposition has dropped significantly since the President spoke in favor of it. Oh, so if the President jumped off a cliff, would you too? [Washington Post]
Obama Transformed White House From Rotting Ooze-Pile To Delicious Treat In 100 Days
Here is something for you all to masturbate to on this “Slow News Friday”: a Jell-O sculpture of the White House that magically goes from limp and decayed to proudly turgid, thanks to our new president. Check out the artist, Liz Hickok, who seems nifty! [YouTube/Liz Hickok]
Rahm Emanuel, Next White House Chief Of Staff?
Hmm, very interesting! Rahm Emanuel loudly pooh-poohed Howard Dean’s 50-state strategy — you know, the deal where you actually pretend that states besides Ohio and Florida matter in electing a president — and now he has been offered the job of Chief of Staff to that same strategy’s biggest benefactor, Barack Obama. Of course Emanuel [...]
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