Wonkette

The latest John McCain ad looks like a crap telecom commercial from 2001, as rendered by a designer who wanted to work for Apple but ended up toiling in direct mail, as delivered by a robot who speaks only in the passive voice. This description actually makes more sense than the ad, which should frighten America. [YouTube]

Despite the fact that he now leads the Democratic nomination race by every conceivable metric, Barack Obama will not be the candidate running against John McCain. Legions of Clinton die-hards will turn out in West Virginia tomorrow to stick it to MSNBC, Robert Reich, non-hard-working white people, and other members of the sexist cabal who want Hillary to throw in the towel before she has humiliated herself in all 50 states (plus Guam, Samoa, the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and Tatooine). MORE »

If Hillary Clinton loses the North Carolina primary by less than 15 points, it’s basically a win. And if she wins Indiana by a single pledged delegate, that is also a win. Both of these predictions may soon come true! According to new projections by Congressional Quarterly, Clinton will win Indiana in a squeaker — getting 24 district-level delegates to Obama’s 23 — even if she really wins it by up to 6% of the popular vote. Or something. Math is hard! MORE »

Because it is a day ending in “y,” somebody is ripping on poor old Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton’s beleaguered numbers swami who gets ridiculed every time he opens his mouth. But this time the critic isn’t one of his coworkers! Refreshing remarks, after the jump. MORE »

Hillary Clinton’s universally reviled strategist Mark Penn made one of those truth-gaffes today when he basically told reporters that Barack Obama can’t win the general election. Then he tried to finesse it, but he failed, and Harold Ickes blamed him for everything and Patti Solis Doyle was fired, emphatically again, for good measure. MORE »

Is this Democratic primary season about math, or hope? Is it about victims, victimizers, or zombies? Never before have the electoral waters been so muddied, but one thing is clear: Hillary Clinton’s campaign would be a lot better off if a selection of freak events were to occur in the very near future. Her options, after the jump. MORE »

Here is some awesome footage of Suzanne Malveaux telling viewers that the Clinton campaign was already congratulating Obama on his big win in the Potomac Primaries … two minutes before the first polls closed in Virginia and two and half hours before polls closed in Maryland. Hillary probably could’ve won the whole thing if Malveaux had just KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, hanging out with the foreign secretary of Russia, was asked who she liked in Sunday’s Super Bowl. MORE »

Back in late October, financial mag Barron’s released their predictions for the results of the 2006 midterms. While most Barron’s content is subscriber-only, they opened this piece up to the unwashed mooching masses, so that we could look upon their work and know our foolish mistakes — scandals, corruption, wars; none of that held a candle to cold, hard cash. They predicted that the GOP, due solely to their superior fundraising prowess, would hold both houses of Congress. MORE »