Tag: predator drones

Death From Above is Magic

Ben Carson Has Cool Idea For Bombing Mexicans With Drones

Ben Carson may not know anything about actual policy or facts or boring details like how the Supreme Court works, but he's a real quick study when it comes to finding stuff that will excite rightwing supporters. And if...

In Which We Wait For Rand Paul To Have To Pee

Hey! Check out C-SPAN2! Sen. Rand Paul has been talking, without pause, since 1997, and today he accidentally wandered in front of a microphone, and now the Senate can't vote on John Brennan becoming CIA director! After 115 cloture motions...

SURPRISE: U.S. Wants More Than Just a No-Fly Zone In Libya!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Let's celebrate by bombing Libya: "The U.S. ambassador to the U.N. raised the possibility of 'going beyond a no-fly zone,'" but didn't specify when the United States would save all the oil from oppression --...

Karl Rove’s Scary Stories Helped Electorate Realize Obama Is Muslim

Every media personality and hologram agrees: Barack Obama was not reelected. He lost the election, sorry, goodbye! But who won? The easy answer is "America," but don't be rude: give credit where credit's due! Scary Horror Stories won this...

TODAY IN POLITICS: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Total Babe

Hello, welcome to Tuesday Afternoon: Politico reports that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) gave Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) "an unusual form of praise" at a closed-door fundraiser. Said Reid: "We in the Senate refer to Sen. Gillibrand as...

Is Obama Man Enough To Keep Killing With Remote-Controlled Robots?

Probably not, because he is a remorseless worrywart when it comes to "legality" and "morality": As this thing Team Obama won't call the War on Terror spreads to the Horn of Africa, we're increasingly going to need drones to send...

Help the American Enterprise Institute Think Of Naughty Ways To Punish Julian Assange!

The American Enterprise Institute has been hemming and hawing over the important policy question, "Why won't Julian Assange just die already?" Julian Assange, as you might recall, is the jerk from Wikileaks who tricked possibly hundreds of Americans into...

Rick Perry Is So ‘Fed Up,’ He’s Writing a Bible About It

Clear a lil' shelf room in your wood-paneled libraries, everybody, because President of Texas Rick Perry is writing a new book! It's called Fed Up, and it teaches you how to hate the federal government like a Texan does...

Texas Is Famous This Week

Texas has arrived! Just look at the Newsweek cover, which blasts the state's new marketing slogan, "Don't Mess With Texas," and features a picture of America's oldest teenaged runaway, Rick Perry, showing off his indigenous footwear. (Free snake farm...

Why Won’t John Edwards Ease The Suffering Of Goldman Sachs?

Jets fans are second-class citizens in Obama's tyrannical One World Nation. Goldman Sachs made a disappointing five billion dollars in the fourth quarter. That's what, maybe 20,000,000 eight balls? Heart-wrenching. JESUS WEEPS: Sarah Palin is officially a 100%...