Wonkette

Oil hit a new record price today, hooray! It briefly touched $146.23 a barrel before settling down to the much more normal price of, er, $145.85. A gallon of gasoline is averaging $4.09 in the patriotic United States — with D.C. at $4.16, New York at $4.30 and West Coast prices over $4.50. Why do they keep going up, up, up? Because some goddamned Christians are showing up at gas stations and praying, that’s why. MORE »

You might think that wiretaps, IRS investigations, and prostitutes led to New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s current difficulties, but in fact it was God, via the Family Research Council. The conservative FRC never liked Spitzer and his abortion-loving ways, so to fight back they did the only sensible thing: they prayed to the Lord to nail that flaming charlatan’s balls to the blessed Rock of Gibraltar. MORE »

Here’s an underreported story about the Republican primary race: Why has God been such a lazy campaigner for his candidate, Mike Huckabee? Sure, God is busy making humans, and the weather, and American foreign policy. But God made a commitment to Mike Huckabee when He endorsed him, and He has been almost as lazy a campaigner as Fred Thompson ever since. Because of this, Huckabee’s supporters are making a last-ditch effort to drag God out onto the campaign trail this Sunday via mass worship. The Pray for Huckabee effort does not mince words: “Join us February 24, 2008 as we pray for God to make a way for Mike Huckabee to become president.” MORE »

Well, shit. After Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue and his ilk prayed for rain Tuesday to end the state’s drought, the Atlanta region was drenched through Wednesday night. How many tears did God pour out? According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, overnight rainfall totals were .14 inches at one airport, .21 inches at another airport and .28 inches at an air base. It’s still unclear whether Jesus blesses other things besides airports in Georgia. MORE »

No, I did not make that image in three seconds on Microsoft Publisher (do they even still make that?). It’s the official logo for the Million March For God, which is a thing that is real. This organization will introduce its plan tomorrow in Philly, which is mostly to have a million unmedicated Jesus people run around DC on October 11, 2008 talking about prayer and the evils of “Western Medicine.” According to these wordsmiths, “Our forefathers never meant to remove Church from Government, nor Government from the Church. They viewed history and throughout history, either the Church controlled the State, or the State controlled the Church. Our forefathers were seeking to avoid either situation from happening.”

It’s unbelievable how much funny shit is on this website. MORE »

[Religious] supporters will be taking the extraordinary step of praying and believing that God will reduce crime in our nation’s capitol over the next six months…. MORE »

Monsignor Jim Lisante delivered the invocation at this year’s New York Republican convention. Here’s a short video clip: MORE »