Unbelievably batshit Detroit City Council member Monica Conyers, comparatively young wife of old Congressman John Conyers, may finally go to jail for being an insane, violent criminal. She “has received a pre-indictment letter from federal authorities who have given her until the end of today to reach a plea deal or they will proceed with possible criminal charges against her.” Conyers is famous for threatening people with guns, getting into a shouting match with the Council president — while in session — during which she called him “Shrek,” getting into another shouting match with another Council member during which she “made fun of his hearing, his lack of college degree and started rumors that he has cancer,” and most importantly, in one of the best YouTubes your editor can recall, losing a debate to an 8th grader and getting pissy about it. Will you pray for her today? MORE »

At this point everybody knows about how Sarah Palin griped at some GOP dinner last week about how there was nobody to pray with before the vice presidential debate besides her speech coach/daughter, Piper. And Jesus. Naturally, McCain aides who suffered by her side for months, TWO WHOLE MONTHS, are furious at the suggestion that they weren’t into all that religious bullshit. MORE »

Oil hit a new record price today, hooray! It briefly touched $146.23 a barrel before settling down to the much more normal price of, er, $145.85. A gallon of gasoline is averaging $4.09 in the patriotic United States — with D.C. at $4.16, New York at $4.30 and West Coast prices over $4.50. Why do they keep going up, up, up? Because some goddamned Christians are showing up at gas stations and praying, that’s why. MORE »

You might think that wiretaps, IRS investigations, and prostitutes led to New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s current difficulties, but in fact it was God, via the Family Research Council. The conservative FRC never liked Spitzer and his abortion-loving ways, so to fight back they did the only sensible thing: they prayed to the Lord to nail that flaming charlatan’s balls to the blessed Rock of Gibraltar. MORE »

Here’s an underreported story about the Republican primary race: Why has God been such a lazy campaigner for his candidate, Mike Huckabee? Sure, God is busy making humans, and the weather, and American foreign policy. But God made a commitment to Mike Huckabee when He endorsed him, and He has been almost as lazy a campaigner as Fred Thompson ever since. Because of this, Huckabee’s supporters are making a last-ditch effort to drag God out onto the campaign trail this Sunday via mass worship. The Pray for Huckabee effort does not mince words: “Join us February 24, 2008 as we pray for God to make a way for Mike Huckabee to become president.” MORE »

Well, shit. After Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue and his ilk prayed for rain Tuesday to end the state’s drought, the Atlanta region was drenched through Wednesday night. How many tears did God pour out? According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, overnight rainfall totals were .14 inches at one airport, .21 inches at another airport and .28 inches at an air base. It’s still unclear whether Jesus blesses other things besides airports in Georgia. MORE »

No, I did not make that image in three seconds on Microsoft Publisher (do they even still make that?). It’s the official logo for the Million March For God, which is a thing that is real. This organization will introduce its plan tomorrow in Philly, which is mostly to have a million unmedicated Jesus people run around DC on October 11, 2008 talking about prayer and the evils of “Western Medicine.” According to these wordsmiths, “Our forefathers never meant to remove Church from Government, nor Government from the Church. They viewed history and throughout history, either the Church controlled the State, or the State controlled the Church. Our forefathers were seeking to avoid either situation from happening.”

It’s unbelievable how much funny shit is on this website. MORE »

[Religious] supporters will be taking the extraordinary step of praying and believing that God will reduce crime in our nation’s capitol over the next six months…. MORE »

Monsignor Jim Lisante delivered the invocation at this year’s New York Republican convention. Here’s a short video clip: MORE »