John “McNasty” McCain has a well-deserved reputation as a vulgar and delusional psychopath who should be locked up in a crazy house forever, but a Sunday feature on Walnuts’ insanity includes an example from the recent past that tops anything else we’ve ever heard. First he knocked some poor lady into the wall of a Senate office building, and then he nearly punched out another old lady in a wheelchair. MORE »

Meghan McCain is a quick finisher! It hasn’t been that long since we first learned about John McCain’s unemployed blogger daughter’s upcoming children’s book, and already it’s nearing publication. September 2 in fact, during the convention! And yes, that is the actual cover art, and yes, members of the Main Stream Media got a sneak preview today. Can you describe the sweet children’s book for us, CBS News? “There are illustrations of the McCain’s capture as a prisoner of war and stumping on the campaign trail, drawn by artist Dan Andreasan, who also did the illustrations for the childrens’ books ‘Pilot Pups’ and ‘A Special Day For Mommy.’” We will seriously pay someone $100 in Disney Dollars for a copy of the book RIGHT NOW. [Indecision 2008, CBS News]

Tran Trong Duyet is a Vietnamese retiree and “amateur ballroom dancer.” He’s one of those foreign folks that the Western press describes with such words as “sprightly,” like when, say, Barbara Walters interviews the Dalai Lama and calls him “cute” or “adorable.” Ha ha, wacky old Asian men! You just want to fold them into a sparkly lunchbox and take them home as a present for your kitty cat. But in Duyet’s case, he would proceed to beat the shit out of your cat, which is what he did to John McCain as head of the Hoa Lo prison — the “Hanoi Hilton” — during WALNUTS!’ famous Captivity. Let’s see what cute things he has to say! MORE »

Everybody knows that Republican Presidential candidate John McCain fought in the Vietnam War and was held in a POW camp until he gained a proper appreciation for the works of Ernest Hemingway. However, shocking new revelations suggest that McCain may have been an arrogant prick to the guy who rescued him after his jet was shot down and delivered him to captors for five years of torture. MORE »

The John McCain campaign has been sending some very forward e-mails to its supporters recently in a shameless attempt to build equity. Poor guy has to eat Ramen and charcoal until the AmEx bills are paid off, so we’re glad to pass the tin change can around. Still, McCain Campaign Manager Rick Davis realizes that leading e-mails with “The time to donate is NOW!” might be off-putting to the 14 chimpanzees/members of ABBA that still support him. As a result, Davis sent a new e-mail yesterday commemorating October 26, 2007 as the 40th anniversary of the day McCain was shot down in Vietnam. It’s a delightful history tale, and how kind of him to educate us — who knew this McCain dude had such a rough life? And why did those meanie pants bum-faced Vietcong treat him like that? It’s as if Davis is trying to guilt-trip us pussies into donating…. MORE »