You would think that John Edwards would have more respect for the nation’s second highest office. After all, he himself was once elected vice president, before Ken Blackwell and voter suppression in Ohio robbed him of the chance to serve as #2 in John Kerry’s Thwarted Reign of Glory. However, after all the vice presidency has done for him, John Edwards has pulled down his pants and pissed all over the notion that he’d run as second fiddle to either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. MORE »

It seems New York Times health care columnist Paul Krugman has taken a President’s Day vacation from predictable Hillary-coddling; in today’s column, he criticizes Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for not caring about poverty as much as John Edwards fake-cared. Krugman’s so-so fare today allows “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol to dazzle in his stead, like in the good old days. MORE »

Yes, it’s boring having to write about the poverty or the economies twice a week for the New York Times and make big money and win Pulitzer prizes and all, but is it so much to ask that this week’s Bob Herbert column not plagiarize last week’s Bob Herbert column? MORE »

* “One in three children in the District live in poverty. One in three. The city’s infant mortality rate and number of adults in foster care both on the rise, as well.” [why.i.hate.dc]
* “Look at this guy. How comfortable does he look? Aside from that empty bread basket on his head, this dude really does embody the contemporary man.” [Arjewtino]
* “You are gonna walk around with my gavel hanging out of your ass until your trial date, so you can remember what an arrogant, ignorant, no boating ass you are.” [DCeiver]
* “Now DC cabs are the only ones that don’t have the surcharge for extra passengers …. More passengers means more consumption of gas, more tear and wear on the vehicle and more boring and painful conversations that passengers carry on amongst each other that the driver has to listen to.” [Diary of a Mad DC Cabbie]
* “Yeah, my weekend was really relaxing…oh, by the way, is your brother still alive?” [DCist]

A shocking new study by the Pew Research Center proves that Americans overwhelmingly identify themselves as Democrats today — 50% compared to 35% who say they’re Republicans. And they’re increasingly weary of religion, religious conservatives, stagnant and shrinking wages, income inequality and the sad toil of their miserable lives. MORE »

Congressman Tim Ryan is SO HUNGRY. The Ohio Democrat took part in this starvation stunt last week to draw attention to an issue of some importance: If you’re one of the 21 million Americans trying to subsist on food stamps, you’re either starving or stuffing yourself with the cheapest high-calorie junk food available, because a sack of generic x-treme trans-fat corn-syrup puzzlewits is a lot cheaper than, say, some nice fresh produce or fish. MORE »

She’s earnest like John Edwards and a “fresh face” like Barack Obama, minus the cigarette-stained teeth and madrassa indoctrination. It’s far more likely she’ll be elected King Jesus Christ than elected president of the United States — putting her in the same class as Tom Vilsack and Duncan Hunter and Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich — but the scrappy newcomer is all smiles and optimism. MORE »

• Maverick McCain and his merry band of outlaws reject Bush’s, “alternative interrogation strategies” legislation, approve their own. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]

• Both houses of Congress shelve large ethics bills; do agree to write their name next to kickback payments, er, earmarks. [WP, NYT]
• Congressman Bob Ney will plead guilty to “Abramoff stuff,” but it’s not his fault — the booze made him do it. [WP, NYT]
• Judge in Saddam Hussein trial tells him, “You were not a dictator.” [CNN, LAT]
• World Bank releases list of countries not to visit on vacation this year. [WP]
• FDA goes against Popeye and your parents, issues warning about eating spinach. [WP]

• Heard on the Hill: Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) says “Condoms and teenagers work about 50 percent of the time.” [Roll Call]
• Lowdown: John Edwards and Russell Simmons got sweaty at the Jivamukti Yoga School in NY, continued on to Downtown Cipriani where they “discussed spirituality, how to end poverty, the higher self and other inspirational topics.” [NYDN]
• Page Six: Rudy Giuliani drinks 12-year-old Macallan scotches, tips 22 percent, is friends with Lindsay Lohan. [NYP]

• More than 70 people died yesterday in the current multi-front middle east conflict. A small number of US Marines are aiding the evacuation in Beirut. [NYT]

• Unsurprisingly, the US government’s full-fledged support of Israel in this conflict is not going over swimmingly with allies. [WP
• Republicans running for things have a two-stage message for dodging Iraq questions: Acknowledge that mistakes were made, ask if we should fight or flee. [WP]
• Corruption is hurting both parties this year. [WP]
• President Bush stopped talking about poverty after Hurricane Katrina’s worst was over. [WP]
• Bush will meet with the NAACP today for the first time. [AP]
• Joe Lieberman is in a “stastistical dead heat” with challenger Ned Lamont. [AP]

• Harry Reid, in surprise move, will vote against Roberts, citing concerns about women’s rights and civil rights. [WP, NYT, LAT, WT]
• Republican unity tested by divisions over how to cover high costs of Katrina relief. [WP, NYT]
• Democrats brace for strategic battle over O’Connor’s seat. [WSJ, WT]
• Arrested official did not disclose links to “controversial foreign clients”; Democrats cite arrest as need for independent inquiry into Katrina response. [WP, NYT]
• Nine Americans killed in Iraq over the past two days. [WP]
• House, Senate negotiators agree on $6b in tax breaks for Katrina relief. [WSJ]
• Bush praises Mississippi for “moving forward.” [WP]
• Katrina has not altered views on poverty; majority favored policy action a year ago. [USAT]
• Lawmakers milk Katrina to push pet causes. [LAT]
• Eight governors request investigation in gouging at the pumps. [NYT]
• Daschle interested in ‘08? [WP]