Tucker Carlson, who plays a human being on Fox’s Outnumbered, explained the connection between obesity and poverty Wednesday, pointing out that poor people are only fat because the government keeps giving them food, and that there’s no such thing as a fat rich person. Who is this man who is so wise in the ways […]

In the strictest search result for “socialism” sense of the word, Pope Francis is not a socialist because he has not (to our knowledge) ever argued for “[a] society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government”. But the definition of “socialism” is changing. Socialism is now understood by a lot of people […]

Because we love you, dear Wonkette reader, this morning we listened to the Independent Women’s Forum’s exciting conference call on why raising the minimum wage is a terrible idea. The call, arranged for the day that Republicans hope to kill the minimum wage increase to death in the Senate, was mostly just IWF Executive Director […]

Liberals, we need to talk. On our pages, we deride Republicans for being anti-poor just because they are always trying to cut food stamps and deny people health care. But are they really that bad? Gov. Mary Fallin of Oklahoma is trying to show us that Republicans aren’t that bad. They’re worse. Per NewsOK: Cities […]

Paul Ryan is in the news for lying again, and Wonkette helped break the story, go us! The Washington Post cited yr Editrix’s post about a comment on this TPM story that noted how Paul Ryan’s tale of a young boy who preferred the brown-bagged love of his parents to the hard cheese of socialism was […]

Here’s a Nice Time change from our usual school lunch story — instead of a tale of heartless dickery leading to poor kids’ food being thrown away, this time around we have a tale where the good guys win and hungry kids get fed! Could this become a trend? Yes, we do need to pause […]

So you all remember Tom Perkins, right? He is the bazillionaire who is afraid that all the little people will go full-Nazi and holocaust all the rich people, because it was his turn to make the “just like Hitler” reference of the day. While he has since said that maybe, perhaps, the holocaust analogy went […]

New Pope continued his socialist rabble rousing today with the release of his Lenten Message, which, like the music of Sex Bob-Omb, will make you think about death and get sad and stuff. Except with redemption and resurrection, too, and you don’t have to fight anyone’s seven evil exes. And he’s still doing that economic […]

You know, maybe we’ve been thinking about this income inequality thing the wrong way. Maybe, we should consider the wisdom of the happy capitalism lover who left a dozen deleted comments the other day, and we should see that income inequality has nothing to do with the game being rigged, and everything to do with […]

Great Protector of Christmas Bill O’Reilly has these tidings of comfort and joy for you, America: Yeah, sure, Jesus fed the poor and he wants people to feed the poor. But is that any reason to feed the poor? In a spirited chat with yes-man priest Fr. Gerald Murray (with easily dismissed contributions from token […]

America’s purveyors of Anus Burgers aren’t really all that big on the idea of paying a fair wage to their employees, but it’s nice to know that they’re at least willing to help them eat their bootstraps and mooch off the gummint. In yet another inspirational example of a fast food giant “helping” its employees, […]

A Texas elementary school threw out a 6th-grader’s reduced-price breakfast Wednesday when the child — a future thug, because he qualifies for reduced-price meals — was unable to pay the required 30 cents, even though his mother called the school and offered to bring three dimes. This latest incident — just one of several in […]

Virginia Lieutenant Governor candidate E.W. Jackson likes to tell audiences at his campaign events how he overcame terrible poverty and became a success, all through hard work and never needing a handout. He tells of times so tough that he had to eat mayonnaise sandwiches — or sometimes nothing at all — for dinner, and […]

Elizabeth Hasselbeck is doing a pretty great job as Fox & Friends’ new Gretchen. Like, first, she totally has blond hair. Second, she is also possessed of a vag. Third, she can completely say idiotic things about whatever Fox wants her to say idiotic things about, and today that idiotic thing is the Poors.

Jumpin’ Jimmy Stewart sipping a cola at the Bel-Air Country Club, August just sucks for news. Or maybe we’re burning out. We volunteered to be the human Wonkette sacrifice upon the altar of this week’s Peggy Noonan column, and guess what? Her Lady Nooningshire let us down by writing something so fucking boring we couldn’t […]