Wonkette

Nothing says you’re a mean old lady who thinks you deserve to be president just because your philandering husband was president in a previous century like not congratulating your hopeful young opponent who wins eight straight races while you win nothing. MORE »

Did you have some sort of plans Tuesday night? Were you crushed by the Terrorist Ice Strom? Well here’s some of what your Wonkette cooked up for you during our nation’s only Maryland-Virginia-DC primary: MORE »

According to Shepard Smith, terrible ice-traffic problems exclusively targeted John McCain voters in Maryland on Tuesday night. Never has such horror been visited upon America since September 11, 2001. Thank god Shep was there to talk us through it all. [FOX News]

Barack Obama is about to finally do that thing his campaign has sort of been implying he’s already pretty much done: Crawl ahead of Hillary in Actual Delegates. Yes he could, or something! Let’s watch the National Media totally ignore DC’s primary — what, nobody could afford exit polls for DC? — as we liveblog the current 9/11, which is the bad weather and ice-related traffic accidents in Maryland. MORE »

How many times have CNN reporters announced the results before the polls closed? We’ve heard Suzanne Malveaux mention offhand — at 6:58 p.m. — that Hillary’s campaign was congratulating Obama for winning the Potomac Primaries and she wanted to put the terrible day behind her. A few minutes later, Candy Crowley was in Wisconsin talking about how Obama won all the primaries — when only the Virginia polls had closed. It’s an outrage! Let’s find even more other stuff to yell about! MORE »

Since the Potomac Chesapeake Crab Mid-Atlantic Brackish Water Primaries are tomorrow in Marlyand, DC and Virginia, your Wonkette decided to go places and “cover” things in person! Being around other humans, it’s the worst. [Shudder]. Tonight, we’re visiting a Bill Clinton rally at Virginia’s George Mason University, home of The Seventeen. They were just playing “Living on a Prayer” by Jon Bon Jovi. The college kids were shouting VERY LOUDLY. More photos from the “pre-show” after the jump. MORE »