Wonkette

Presidential hopeful and secret beer baron Barack Obama has cornered the booze market in his hometown of Kenya, Africa. Ever since his victory in the Potomac primaries, folks have been lining up in Nairobi pubs and asking for “Obama,” which is the hip new local slang for Senator brand beer. Shocking CNN footage, after the jump! MORE »

Last night, America elected its first co-presidents of Washington DC, Maryland, and Virginia: a charismatic young senator, and some sort of midget goblin. [Washington Post]

The only thing more painful than Andrea Mitchell’s joke about “white men can jump” is the guy in the background helpfully explaining, “Woody Harrelson reference there.”

Here is some awesome footage of Suzanne Malveaux telling viewers that the Clinton campaign was already congratulating Obama on his big win in the Potomac Primaries … two minutes before the first polls closed in Virginia and two and half hours before polls closed in Maryland. Hillary probably could’ve won the whole thing if Malveaux had just KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT.

Everyone knows DC Mayor Adrian Fenty is a big Obama supporter. During Wonkette’s trip to New Hampshire, we even saw him at Obama’s loser rally. (“Polaroid Liz” Glover got a shot, but the Polaroid came out blank. Sad!) But he may have been “electioneering” a little too much today — as in, electioneering outside a polling location where no electioneering is allowed. MORE »

Hillary’s going to be swept in Maryland, DC and Virginia today, then she is going to lose Wisconsin and Hawaii next week. So here’s the Clinton campaign’s goal for the month of February: Don’t lose Wisconsin by very much! She’s running this new ad in the… cheese state… and is utilizing everyone’s favorite Obama hater, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, to “pimp out” her plan. [YouTube]

CLINTON ‘ALL BUT CONCEDING LOSSES’ IN TODAY’S PRIMARIES: Which means, of course, a landslide victory for Hillary by nightfall. [AP]

As our story told in pictures last night, we went to a Bill Clinton rally at Virginia’s George Mason University last night, and the young ladies in the crowd were v.v. enthusiastic. But what is Bill Clinton’s infinitely long stump speech like? Does he drop the n-word? WHO KNOWS? A liveblog of his speech, after the jump. MORE »