Not that anyone really *uses* the Post Office anymore, which we suppose is part of the problem, but the Postmaster General popped into the Senate today, exchanged pleasantries, and then told the Senators, “So yeah um, funny thing… we’re broke too. Ha…?” The Senators rolled their eyes, sighed, reluctantly took out the golden checkbook with its goosefeather pen and responded, “Alright, goddamnit, fine, how much Obama Money do you want?” But the Postmaster General didn’t want their money — he wanted to cut his own budget! Congress does NOT like this “attitude.” MORE »

FRAUDULENT POST OFFICE WORKERS ENDORSE OBAMA: Barack Obama is such a fraud that he probably even invented himself. Remember those terrible U.S. Postal Service galoots who make you pay for their undies and Apple Pods, in the name of “government expenses”? Now it seems that the American Postal Workers Union has endorsed Barry for president today, because he will give them more fake credit cards to fake-buy things on their subprime credit accounts. [APWU]

According to a new audit from the Government Accountability Office, the United States of America’s Government has been purchasing iPods, lingerie and other goodies with federal credit cards. About 300,000 federal government employees used purchase cards in 2007. Government purchase cards are like corporate credit cards, except the Corporation is YOU, the AMERICAN TAXPAYER PEOPLE. You and your subprime corporate friends should be ashamed and banished to Spain, with the Moors. MORE »

The U.S. Postal Service’s latest bold plan to avoid delivering mail has come to Washington. That’s right, nerds: There are mailboxes clumsily disguised as the world’s most beloved robot friend! MORE »