Tag: portland

Father Forgive them, for they are dumb as fuck like whoa.

Trump Might Send 100,000 National Guard Troops To Round Up Illegal Mexicans. Totally Normal.

Hey, know who ELSE rounded up lots of people?

Let’s Play The Blame Game! Your Wonkagenda: Thursday, November 10, 2016

Non-white women invade the Senate, educators try to comfort kids, and more reasons to hate Gary Johnson and Jill Stein. Your morning news brief!
I'm out of order? This whole COUNTRY is out of order!

Bundy Dildo Militia Not Guilty In Oregon Wildlife Refuge Takeover, Fate Of Precious Guns Still Unclear

Great news for armed 'militias' -- and just in time for the rigged election!
Every word of this is a word.

Bundy Bunch Trial Starts With Life-Or-Death Demand To Allow Idiots To Wear Cowboy Boots

Strictly a bring-your-own-dildo affair. The Bundy brothers have each other.


Just kidding, we didn't trick you, you are not DUMM.

Is John Boehner Driving The Wonkebago To The Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing?

No, John Boehner is probably not driving the Wonkebago to the Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing, but a girl can dream, can't she? Join your comrades at the Wonkette Commenter-Owned Cooperative Drinky Thing And Potluck (No Pot) next week! Because...
Locked and Loaded for the Lord

Portland Priest Being VERY UNGODLY By Beating Gun Into Plowshare. Wingnuts Furious!

Why do gun fetishists hate Jesus's lawyer for trying to help a softball team?
Leaving the basement can be very stressful

Blogger For Stupidest Man On Internet Arrested Just For Pulling Gun On Black Lives Matter Folks

A rightwing blogger waved a loaded gun at a group of Black Lives Matter protesters last week, and was later found to be carrying enough ammo for a sustained firefight. Astonishingly, police did not shoot him dead.

Servers Tell Boss To Take Her Crap Anti-Minimum-Wage Op-Ed And Shove It

Oh hey, it's a Maine story (about the minimum wage, no less) that doesn't directly involve Gov. Paul LePage! Five servers at a restaurant in Portland called Five Fifty-FiveĀ have quit in one hell of a mic drop, giving their notice...

Nevada Dongwhistle Michele Fiore Actually Running For United States Congress, Hooray!

We told you in November that Nevada assembly-lady Michele Fiore, whose boobs are as locked and loaded as her massive gun collection (and she's not afraid to use them!), was threatening to runĀ for Congress. But way back when, it...

Stories Of Restaurant Employees Who Had Their Just Revenge

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we return to stories of righteous restaurant revenge. As always, these are real emails from real readers. If...
Sad Jebbers is sadness.

President Jeb Bush Addresses Grieving Nation: ‘Stuff Happens’

If you've been wondering what President Jeb Bush, what with being a Bush and having all that genetic expertise on how to do presidenting real good, would do about the mass shootings we have every single week in America,...

Portland, Oregon, We Are In You. You Come To Our Party Now, Tonight!

Hi Portland, whatcha doing? Legalizing the pot like a common Coloradan? Well, I guess we will throw you a party then. How's tonight? Does tonight work for you? Shut up, yes it does. DON'T BE A DENVER and act like...
This would fix everything

Another Mass Shooting In America. What The Hell Are We Supposed To Say?

What are we supposed to tell you about the man who murdered 10 people at Umpqua Community College in Oregon on Thursday morning? Gawker's Sam Biddle wrote on Thursday in defense of reporters contacting witnesses, via Twitter, even if it...

President Obama Asks Americans To Stop Shooting Each Other, For Real This Time

Another mass shooting in America on Thursday, this time at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon. At least 10 are confirmed dead, another 20 are injured, and the gunman, also deceased, has been identified only as a 20-year-old male....