The Daily Caller advises us today that a Portland, Oregon, ice cream parlor offended the sensibilities of all good pearl-clutching citizens Thursday by holding a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood, and it even “created a new flavor of the frozen treat to mark the occasion.” Oh no! Now even ice cream has lost its innocence! The […]

Nostalgic for the days of Carrie Nation? Want to protect hearth and home from the Sorrows of Drink, or weed, or the Pokémans addiction? Then you may want to get yourself signed up for the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, which is still somehow a going concern 80 years after the end of Prohibition. And since […]

There are some days when Yr Wonkette is very glad that we do not allow comments. Because if we did, we might find ourselves with bucketloads of comments like these, from “Livefree601″ on the topic of Bristol Palin, teen mom and Planned-Parenthood Dismantler: She’s literally the most amazing and strongest woman out there. Who else […]

You know what’s bringing this country down? Not big money in politics, not gerrymandering Congressional districts to create 832 safe seats, and not even bakeries shutting down because they can’t be bigots. No, those are all peripheral issues — the real problem in America is the poors. Seriously, it’s sickening how poor people are just […]

Well here is another fine howdeyedo! Bill Diss, a computer and math teacher in Portland, Oregon, has been suspended just because (according to the district) he is unprofessional and intimidating and harassing and told his students they would end up on “82nd Avenue” (WHERE THE WHORES ARE) if they joined the “Let’s Not Get Pregnant […]

Nice local economy you have there, Oregon. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to it would you? Good, then you’ll surely trade us billions of dollars in tax revenue, for, say, 500 jobs. Isn’t that a sweet deal? Sure it is, it’s a great deal: Under pressure from Nike, Governor John Kitzhaber took the extraordinary step […]

Matt Barber is an asshole, that is not “news.” He tweeted the above famous photo of a Portland rally (which at the time, we recall, some Foxers claimed the huge crowds had turned out not for Obama but for The Decemberists) and was quite miffed that the media is ignoring these huge, er, Romney rallies? […]

Here is your biweekly “niceness” post, wherein we push away, for a moment, sad humans screaming about buggery and Ann Romney being a twatbag. Meet the Portland Police Bureau gals and dudes, every last one of whom seems to be a total gay, telling kids it gets better. Portland may have just landed itself in […]

How did America’s heavily militarized security guards for the 1% spend the work week? Oh, just pepper-spraying sitting students in the face, macing old ladies, stomping peaceful protesters, yanking women around by their ponytails, destroying libraries and bloodying the faces of America’s citizens. You know, what they’ve dreamed of doing for decades.

It’s probably not very much fun to split up with your wife of 75 years and then have the Huffington Post say you’ve been cheating with Larry David’s wife and then have some masseuse in Oregon claim, to the National Enquirer, that you tried to practice your love on her three years ago when she […]

Police in Portland have announced they are re-re-opening the investigation into that time Al Gore allegedly groped a masseuse at a hotel four years ago. Third time’s the charm when it comes to cock-grabbing incidents, apparently. As for Gore, did you expect him to offer No Comment on this? YOU GUESSED WRONG. Al Gore is […]

Really? Did Al Gore try to get some 54-year-old masseuse gal to massage his dingus at a Portland hotel where he was staying to give a Climate Change speech, and when the woman showed no interest did he then get angry and demand she have sex with him? Is Al Gore supposed to be the […]

Illustrating today’s Post-America America info-graphic are the two most famous living humans from Mississippi and Oregon: Vile slob and unrepentant racist Haley Barbour, the actual governor of Mississippi, and musician Stephen Malkmus of Portland.

West Coast Xmas warrior operative “Katrina” sends this photo from a fancy dollar store in Portland, Oregon, which just so happens to be the epicenter of the entire War on Christmas. Here we have all the greatest gifts for children and adults and robots alike, and all for one dollar: stacks of Lou Dobbs’ book, […]

OK here it goes, so stop sending the e-mails, please, about openly gay mayor Sam Adams of Portland, Oregon going “Full Portland” on a former male intern from his city commissioner days, who may have been 17 for like a day when they met. The HOOOOOT intern’s name is Beau Breedlove, which is hilarious, because […]