A long, long time ago, we were briefly obsessed with the bizarre tale of Dusty Foggo, the former Executive Director of the CIA, handpicked by Porter Goss, despite a career-long penchant for hilarious and public sexual misadventures. Foggo was eventually indicted for funneling money to a defense contractor (who’s accused of bribing Duke Cunningham — see, it’s complicated, you can understand why we switched to Mark Foley). There were also regrettably vague stories of hookers showing up to Foggo poker parties (at the Watergate!). MORE »

Here’s a great house for Robert M. Gates, because it’s being sold by another ex-CIA boss, Porter Goss! MORE »

Time asks: Will former CIA director Porter Goss write a “tell-all”? MORE »

Three notable pieces were published this weekend on the painfully slow-moving hookers ‘n’ Congressmen ‘n’ spooks scandal.

• Newsweek’s Brent Wilkes profile

• Ken Silverstein’s “Nine Fingers” Basset story
• The San Diego Union-Tribune’s poker party report

While they are all rich with color (a Nine Fingers “prank letter” filled with sexually explicit talk was intercepted by the KGB, who then tried to blackmail him), they are also all short on hookers (with Newsweek not mentioning them at all). Closer looks, after the jump.

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WatergateGate continues to be complicated. MORE »

* The week started off with a double shot of intelligence stories to get us all hot and bothered. Did we say hot? We meant super-hot. MORE »

AP bulletin sez the FBI executed search warrents on Goss’ house and office. Watergategate-related? Who the hell knows. More when we hear it. MORE »

Today’s Time article on Porter Goss, Duke Cunningham, Brent Wilkes, Dusty Foggo, and Brant Basset, while very informative, fails to call Basset “Nine Fingers” even once, which is, of course, shoddy journalism. Also, the closest it comes to mentioning hookers is quoting Foggo’s attorney as saying that there was “no hanky panky” at the Watergate poker parties. MORE »

KEN SILVERSTEIN IS OUR FAVORITE JOURNALIST EVER MORE »

Edited slightly for formatting, content untouched. You don’t mess with genius.

1) You guys don’t get it. Porter Goss USES national intelligence.

2) Note that Porter Goss abruptly resigned to leave for his farm two days after Fran Townsend put out Bush’s Pandemic Flu Plan — in which Bush first told us “You’re Fucked” — see here.

Next, he told us “You’re on your own” — see here.

Which looks a lot like the Bush Hurricane Katrina plan.

3) In the 1960s after the Cuban Missile Crisis, Porter Goss left the CIA and settled on Sanibel Island near the bottom of southwest Florida — one of only two spots in the USA that would have survived the massive fallout from a Soviet Nuclear Strike — see here.

4) Now, the news reports that “Goss and his wife own a central Virginia farm, where they raise cattle, sheep and chickens. ” See bottom of here.

It just so happens that Central Virginia is one of the few spots in the country that does not have geese carrying Avian flu flying over it. See here and here.

5) Face it — when the pandemic hits, interstate transport shuts down and you guys in Washington are feeding on each other like cannibals –literally, not just politically — Goss will be setting on his front porch eating goat cheese, sipping homemade Cabernet and enjoying the rural sunset. Laughing his ass off as he tells his wife about how Donald Rumsfeld talked Dick Cheney into buying an estate on the Chesapeake Bay –an area which receives the largest dump of migratory goose droppings in the country.

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Our compliments to the New York Daily News for being the only paper we know of to lead with the mostly unsourced and speculative (but still totally true) hooker allegations in their Goss story. MORE »