Tag: pornography

God's financial analyst.

Televangelist Assholes Pretty Sure Manchester And London Asking For It, Like Common Godless Sluts

BREAKING NEWS Pat Robertson and Jim Bakker are disgusting assholes.

Jeff Sessions Is Coming All Over Your Porn! We Mean Coming After!

Sessions said during his confirmation hearing that he's totally open to prosecuting the porns. THANKS TRUMP!

Hip-And-With-It GOP Platform Yells At Clouds, Gay People, And Sage Grouses

Way to get with the times, Republicans!
To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You people would just replace it with Comic Sans.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: A Dip Into The Archives… Of Dips

Everybody is stupid and also the worst. Except for you!

Deleted Comments: Our Libraries Are Full Of Pedophiles And Our Schools Full Of Jews!

Our weekly visit to the deleted comments archive brings us a fine rant about the importance of never criticizing books that haven't been published yet.

Creationist Homeschool Mom So Oppressed By Porn-Loving Librarians She Wrote A Book About It!

Creationist homeschooling mom Megan Fox, best known for being mad at dinosaurs at The Field Museum, has a book now.
Muy caliente!

Playboy Will Still Make Naked Ladies For You, But Only In Mexican

The other day, the world was shocked-but-not-really to find out that Playboy, the iconic magazine known mostly for hard-hitting journalism and the occasional picture of a booby, would be getting rid of the boobies entirely and going to a boner-free...
When did Tobias Fünke become a publishing consultant?

Playboy To Go Never-Nude In 2016. We’ll Be Grieving In Our Bunk

When we saw the headline "Playboy says it will no longer print images of nude women" in our newsfeed Tuesday, we were pretty sure it had to be from one of those dollar-store imitations of The Onion, not the...

Josh Duggar’s Penis Had A Accident On Another Porn Star

Everybody in the front row, cover yourselves with plastic, because we're about to Gallagher some more Duggar spooge your way. Remember how Josh Duggar had to go to the Fuck-No-More Bible Camp, after it was revealed that the porn...
Didn't they send all the Puritans over here?

British Nanny State In Spot Of Bother At Freak Mustachio-Ride Skinflick Demises

British porn fans are about to see some changes in the material available for their wanking pleasure -- or at least in the domestically produced stuff. Last year, the Conservative government banned rape porn -- not in-real-life rape, which is...
Day One

Jesus-Approved Sexytime Turns Happy Virgin Men Into Sad Confused Husbands

Now here's a shocker: A new study finds that men who make "virginity pledges" get plenty of "social support to abstain from sex before the wedding night," but once they get married, they no longer feel comfortable talking about...

EPA Employee Looking For Pollution Two To Six Hours A Day, From The Comfort Of His Porn Stash

Does your job blow? Do you ever fantasize about just kicking back and watching porn all day, but wish you could still pull down a nice six-figure salary? Yeah, us too, so click on those goddam ads swirling around,...

‘Human Rights’ Advocate Austin Ruse Wants All Left-Wing Professors Shot Dead, Is That Too Much to Ask?

It's always good to know that someone has a long-term plan for improving America. And Austin Ruse, the head of the "Catholic Family & Human Rights Institute," has some ideas in that area. Ruse is tired of having to...

Ex-Congresscreeper Mel Reynolds Arrested In Zimbabwe For Making All The Pornos

You might or might not remember former Illinois Congressweirdo Mel Reynolds, a seriously freaky guy who in the early '90s managed to get elected -- twice -- despite being more than a little bit skeevy. His Chicago district somehow...

Derp Roundup: BYU-Idaho Fights The Battle Of The Boner, And Other Dispatches From The War On Stupid

Welcome, O Wonkers and Wankers, to another edition of the Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we clean the sticky residue of stoopid stories from our browser tabs, cut it with a secret mix of chemicals from Freedumb Industries,...

Rape Porn To Be Banned In Britain, Joining Pamela Geller And A Bunch Of Old George Formby Songs

Posh anti-tossing tosser UK PM David Cameron's Conservative party is not very popular right now, but they're still more popular than rape. So, opportunity! A new restriction on the possession of rape porn is part of a crackdown by...