porn
Alvin Greene Finally Indicted On Porn Charge
Many moons ago, as the days grew short and the air thick with the cold of autumn’s decline, Alvin Greene was allegedly witnessing the act of human reproduction. He then turned to a fellow human and showed her this example of how humans come to be. And now a South Carolina grand jury, out of [...]
Celebrate Freedom, Russians, and Balls Rolling into Holes
Wednesday, July 21: Maybe you care that today is Feestag, the Belgian copy of the French copy of the 4th of July? Of course you do, because Real Americans love using other countries’ celebrations of freedom as excuses to drink, regardless of what/where actually happened. Brasserie Beck is celebrating Belgium Day tonight from 5-9PM with [...]
TRAGEDY: Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Has Ended His Bid For U.S. Senate
Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. was supposed to be the FUTURE. Now our paranoid schizophrenic angel has decided to give up on us after failing to make it on the ballot. Pagels called Wonkette, the world’s number-one source for Pagels information (besides that Wisconsin court database) to deliver the bad news. “I’m just letting you know [...]
Al Gore Is Super Excited For Everyone To Hear About His Groping, Also He Likes Porn a Lot
Police in Portland have announced they are re-re-opening the investigation into that time Al Gore allegedly groped a masseuse at a hotel four years ago. Third time’s the charm when it comes to cock-grabbing incidents, apparently. As for Gore, did you expect him to offer No Comment on this? YOU GUESSED WRONG. Al Gore is [...]
Florida State Senator Checks Out Dog YouTubes As Well As Naked Lady Pics, In Session
Florida State Senator Mike Bennett opened an image of four topless bikini gals on his computer yesterday, while a camera was filming his computer screen, in session. This is not good for Florida State Senator Mike Bennett. And what about the dog YouTube he’s watching, too? That dog is clearly a whore. [Sunshine State News]
K-Lo Getting Hairy Palms Because of All the Nasty Sexytime On the ‘Puter
Ever since National Review Online’s old maid Kathryn Jean Lopez heard about sex a few weeks ago, she has been frantically typing with one hand about all the dirty, dirty, dirty pornography on the Internet which is so filthy, so hawt, so nasty. (Actually, K-Lo “discovers” the p0rN every year about this time. It’s like [...]
ACORN Will Return With the Aztecs and Mitt Romney In 2012
Oh you thought ACORN went away forever? You are an April Fool because ACORN is just “reinventing” itself and when its good and ready it’ll resurrect and freak everyone out, just as Jesus once did. [RedState] Andrew Sullivan has a new Internet hobby: Looking at pictures of dudes with beards eating cupcakes. [The Daily Dish] [...]
In Rational News, SEC Employee May Have Masturbated 24/7 During Downfall Of Capitalism
Let’s scroll down the Google Reader for more post ideas… Alec Baldwin HuffPo thing… 100 more HuffPo things… government official/tranny porn something something… that real estate economics blog we never ended up reading… WAIT SCROLL BACK UP, the government/tranny thing, let’s post that! (Yes, your editor does indeed read his running monologue aloud while looking [...]
Levi Johnston’s Got a Towel Over His Junk
UPDATE: Really, a guy with his business covered by a big old towel is “not safe for work” now? WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, etc., but if a nation’s few remaining employed people can’t practice their love on a front-page semi-nekkid Levi Johnston, we will hide the snausage after the jump. NOW BACK TO THE [...]
Cow Porn Judge Officially Admonished
Ha ha ha we randomly clicked on this LA Times headline thinking, “Alex Kozinski, isn’t she that rich NYT gal with the plastic surgery and the surrogates?” But no, duh, the name should ring a bell because Alex Kozinski is the infamous cow porn judge who shocked America last June with revelations that he kept [...]
WARNING: Watch Where You Download Your Porn, That’s How The Ayatollah Gets Access!
We understand that for most of you it’s Late Lunch Hour Porn Cruising Time, but beware, the Iranians have set up a digital attack trap: “don’t know what’s up, but i went to persian bay (nee pirate bay), then to wonkette (at about 1:30 pm your time) and for a few long seconds it seemed [...]
CIVIL RIGHTS BATTLES OF OUR TIME: You can use the free wi-fi on Utah Transit Authority trains and buses, but you better not look at some boobies, because a transit cop will write you a ticket and, most likely, chastise you in a sort of embarrassing way. But passengers can appeal the porn citations. [Salt [...]
Religious Conservatives Crazy For Porn
Here is a SHOCKER regarding the holy trinity of American hobbies (religion, wingnut politics and pornography). It turns out that conservative Jesus Goblins are using up all of America’s precious porn reserves. A new study proves the “red states” consume so much (gay and interracial) naked sex media, it’s crazy! But is there another, hidden [...]
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