porn

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the cops who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys who star in Deep Throat Part II: The Bonening. A district attorney in upstate New York has admitted that he acted in pornographic movies in the 1970s then lied when […]

Never let it be said that Your Wonkette is anything but sex-positive and pro-freaky-deakiness. But when it’s Allen West and he’s writing to his wife from Iraq right around the time he is having people beaten and then shooting guns next to their heads, and he is so weird and Allen West-like, well … here, […]

Good news everyone! The Right has come to its senses and realized the most pressing question about Obama is not “where is the birth certificate?” (DUH) it’s actually “was Obama’s father the left wing poet and activist Frank Marshall Davis?” and! “did Davis take nudie pics of Obama’s mom that later appeared in Bizarre Life […]

If you ever want to weep bitter tears for the death of American good taste, just purchase a coach class domestic airline ticket and take a little trip across Real America. You will discover that literally dozens of your fellow airline passengers are openly reading 50 Shades Of Grey or its offshoots, a terribly written […]

How low has American political discourse sunk? Well, if a prominent human choses to say something nice about a person running for president, even if that something nice is about something totally unrelated to politics, and even if that human is prominent mostly for putting his wang inside a bunch of ladies, and also occasionally […]

“What do you suppose are the chances,” wonders Townhall columnist Mona Charen, that the Cartagena Dozen or whatever, like and watch porn? It’s very important that we talk about this, says Ms. Charen, because if we can just know this one thing, maybe it explains everything, and if we can stop porn, maybe we can […]

It seems that Rick Santorum has found time in his busy schedule of condemning “radical” women for working outside the home and using birth control, and nagging English-speaking Puerto Ricans to speak English, and now is turning his hot, penetrating gaze to manfolk-bizness. Yup. Ol’ Smegma Lips is now coming for your porn.

Remember when Barack Obama was all, “And I will stop having all these wars everywhere”? No? Lately, people have been telling us that he never said anything of the sort, which is kind of funny, haha, because we all believed that was his intention, right? We don’t have five whole minutes to go read Wikipedia […]

America’s political paper of record, TMZ.com, has yet another hot new blog story about how somebody tangentially involved in politics also has naked pictures on the Internet. If you’re a fan of low-end Web porn, you will certainly be excited about this gal, who once worked as an intern in Hillary Clinton’s field office in […]

Anything good on the news innerwebs tonight? No? Not at all?

Hmm, Osama bin Laden was 1) a male who 2) sat around his house all day. Whatever could he have been up to? Oh, just THE most covert masturbation sessions in all of human history. That’s right—there was a porn stash in bin Laden’s compound. It was “extensive.” Oh no! Why did we heathen Americans […]

For business travelers and defense contractors of a certain age, the only real reward at the end of another crushing day of airport security and ulcer-causing plates of casual-dining-chain fat globules and the constant fear of getting fired is the pay-per-view porn on the hotel teevee. But various Christian wingnut groups who should mind their […]

The National Security Administration is building a $1.2 billion data center in Utah that will span a million square feet, and will be the largest Department of Defense war-building building in the country. By comparison, the Pentagon is 6.5 million square feet. Do these people realize you don’t really need much physical space to go […]

Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people’s genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here’s a video that’s emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the power of journalism, we know what pages the Judiciary Committee chairman cross-examined.

Many moons ago, as the days grew short and the air thick with the cold of autumn’s decline, Alvin Greene was allegedly witnessing the act of human reproduction. He then turned to a fellow human and showed her this example of how humans come to be. And now a South Carolina grand jury, out of […]