porn
New Michigan Democratic Party Chairman Lon Johnson Is NOT The Lee Strasberg Of Porn Lon Johnson
The Michigan Democratic Party elected Lon Johnson as their new chairman Saturday. But you should know that Michigan Democratic Party chairman Lon Johnson is not the Lon Johnson who, in addition to starring in over 1300 adult films, operates the Lon Johnson School of Acting. They are two different guys. You can tell them apart [...]
New York D.A. Busted Starring In Nudie Lewdie Dix Flix
In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the cops who investigate crimes, and the district attorneys who star in Deep Throat Part II: The Bonening. A district attorney in upstate New York has admitted that he acted in pornographic movies in the 1970s then lied when [...]
What ‘Porn Star’ Sex Acts Did Extremely Normal Allen West Demand Of His Lady Wife?
Never let it be said that Your Wonkette is anything but sex-positive and pro-freaky-deakiness. But when it’s Allen West and he’s writing to his wife from Iraq right around the time he is having people beaten and then shooting guns next to their heads, and he is so weird and Allen West-like, well … here, [...]
American Literature Saved! Bin Laden Death Porn Displaces Actual Porn As #1 Best-Seller
If you ever want to weep bitter tears for the death of American good taste, just purchase a coach class domestic airline ticket and take a little trip across Real America. You will discover that literally dozens of your fellow airline passengers are openly reading 50 Shades Of Grey or its offshoots, a terribly written [...]
Rick Santorum Now Coming for Your Porn
It seems that Rick Santorum has found time in his busy schedule of condemning “radical” women for working outside the home and using birth control, and nagging English-speaking Puerto Ricans to speak English, and now is turning his hot, penetrating gaze to manfolk-bizness. Yup. Ol’ Smegma Lips is now coming for your porn.
Gal Who Interned For Hillary Clinton’s Office Is Now Doing Pornos
America’s political paper of record, TMZ.com, has yet another hot new blog story about how somebody tangentially involved in politics also has naked pictures on the Internet. If you’re a fan of low-end Web porn, you will certainly be excited about this gal, who once worked as an intern in Hillary Clinton’s field office in [...]
Officials Uncover Osama Bin Laden’s Inevitable Porn Stash
Hmm, Osama bin Laden was 1) a male who 2) sat around his house all day. Whatever could he have been up to? Oh, just THE most covert masturbation sessions in all of human history. That’s right—there was a porn stash in bin Laden’s compound. It was “extensive.” Oh no! Why did we heathen Americans [...]
Marriott Taking Away Old Men’s Porn Pay-Per-View
For business travelers and defense contractors of a certain age, the only real reward at the end of another crushing day of airport security and ulcer-causing plates of casual-dining-chain fat globules and the constant fear of getting fired is the pay-per-view porn on the hotel teevee. But various Christian wingnut groups who should mind their [...]
NSA Building Million-Square-Foot Facility To Look At Your Por
The National Security Administration is building a $1.2 billion data center in Utah that will span a million square feet, and will be the largest Department of Defense war-building building in the country. By comparison, the Pentagon is 6.5 million square feet. Do these people realize you don’t really need much physical space to go [...]
Here Is John Conyers On An Airplane Fapping To Playboy Magazine
Thanksgiving is an annual holiday of touching people’s genitals to celebrate the miracle of flight, so here’s a video that’s emerged of Rep. John Conyers of Detroit looking at a copy of Playboy on an airplane. And through the power of journalism, we know what pages the Judiciary Committee chairman cross-examined.
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