porn

Does your job blow? Do you ever fantasize about just kicking back and watching porn all day, but wish you could still pull down a nice six-figure salary? Yeah, us too, so click on those goddam ads swirling around, ok? (Note: do not actually click on those ads unless they are things in which you […]

Used to be a man (or a lady!) could watch some tentacle porn in peace, not having to worry about how it might affect the planet at large. But now, thanks to the hippies at Pornhub, we’re all expected to act locally and wank globally. Pornhub, a website that is exactly what it says it […]

You will probably not be surprised to learn that here at yr Wonkette we think that porn is a totally respectable way to earn a living, presuming, of course, that consent and equal power and equity and yadda yadda exist. Point is, we don’t discriminate about how you pay the bills. Chase Bank, on the […]

The Pulitzer Prizes were announced Monday afternoon, with top honors going to The Guardian and The Washington Post for their coverage of the Edward Snowden NSA revelations. That news was largely lost on users of Twitter, however, as they all were looking at pictures of a model airplane with its cockpit inserted into a lady’s […]

Perhaps when you first saw the terrible evidence piling up against Oscar Pistorius in the murder of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp, you were saddened by the emotional abuse. Or maybe it was because she seemed wonderful: strong and nice and feministy and awesome. Of course, if you’re Nancy Grace, the important thing was Pistorius liked […]

OMG! Did you guys hear that the Internet is being given away? Quick! Download all the dirtiest porn you can, because THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER! YES, GODDAMIT, THIS DOES TOO DESERVE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE INTERNET WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. At least, that’s what we are hearing. Are you […]

A Nashville guy who claims he’s a member of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson’s church is suing A&E Network for its suspension of Robertson. Chris Sevier claims that the private company’s personnel decision will have a chilling effect on decent Christian weirdos like himself, inhibiting them from preaching damnation for the gheys. For good measure, […]

For your Blowvember consideration, this shocking headline from Brent Bozell’s CNSNews.com: Obama Had Senate-Office ‘Portrait Session’ With Pornographer. OMG! Finally, the Obama gay porn scandal we’ve been waiting for! The breathless lede does everything it can to suggest that something scary has to be hiding behind those quotation marks: On June 20, 2007, then-Sen. Barack […]

In a fortuitous conjunction of publicity whores, Get Shot!, a California band billing itself as “the sleaziest punk band in the world,” has shot a two-minute video of its bass player lying on a blanket and masturbating on the lawn of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas — the “God Hates Fags/America/Puppies” loonies. Internet […]

While we are all very busy remembering to never forget, let us take just a moment for A Very Important Think Piece on Sydney Leather’s new boobs and their appearance at Anthony Weiner’s NYC mayoral concession speech. (He lost big time.) Cause oh yeah, she got some, and boy, they are not real and we […]

Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let’s give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool […]

Aww yeah — Anthony Weiner’s delightfully zaftig, beach flopping, tatted-up phone-sexting partner Sydney Leathers has gone and made herself a porno! And what pray-tell is the gal who declared that dear old Carlos Danger is “too busy jacking off to be mayor” doing in said video? Why jacking off of course! And just how many […]

Ahem. We were under the impression that we had addressed the key purpose of the internet last week, when we told you what you already know: the internet is for porn. Apparently there is one dude who lives in Tennessee who believes that the internet is for other stuff AND that Apple should have protected […]

Oh, Google. Masters of our fate, keepers of our email, facilitators of our sexytime midday work chatting. We like you. We really really like you. We might gay marry you for, say, 1% of your stock. But we’re kinda not down with you helping climate deniers like treacherous windbag Jim Inhofe get cold hard cash […]

The Michigan Democratic Party elected Lon Johnson as their new chairman Saturday. But you should know that Michigan Democratic Party chairman Lon Johnson is not the Lon Johnson who, in addition to starring in over 1300 adult films, operates the Lon Johnson School of Acting. They are two different guys. You can tell them apart […]