pork

With this year’s Super Bowl being played by teams from states that have legalized weed, there are rumored shortages of Velveeta and bacon, maybe. The nation’s strategic reserves of munchies could be endangered! Or is the “Velveeta Shortage” simply an ersatz media invention, a smoothly processed story with little nutritional value? The Daily Show looks […]

Charles Krauthammer, who is Barack Obama raping today? HA TRICK QUESTION! Barack Obama is raping everybody today, because he is raping our treasury, because Hurricane Sandy. (Also, while we are aware it should be “whom is Obama raping,” because the rapee is the object of Barack Obama’s raping, well, in this one instance we just […]

We should stop being surprised when the party of personal responsibility blames EVERYONE ELSE for its own failures, time and time again. But somehow, we are still surprised! Every single time! We should also stop being surprised when Fox News decides that it can present a completely opposite vision of reality with a totally straight […]

This is your Monday Fun Post picture of famous nut Michele Bachmann dressed in some kind of furry costume whilst campaigning for reelection in Hugo, Minnesota this weekend. That’s nice. Is this because Michele Bachmann loves pork barrel spending on the pork industry, in her home state? So meta! Or maybe she is simply having […]

Ah, Rick Santorum. Rick, Rick, Rick. After winning the support of 100 evangelical leaders this weekend, the conservative candidate solidified himself as a seriousish contender in the Republican race, which is exciting only because it means the New York Times will now spend the next couple of weeks writing probing examinations of this true Washington […]

Sen. Charles Schumer said he would push as well for added funding for rail security and commuter and passenger train track inspections and more monitoring of stations nationwide. When most people see news about a potential terrorist attack, they get a little scared and take a bit of solace knowing their government is aware of […]

With all the economic unpleasantness and the wars and the fact that our quinoa habit is slowly starving South Americans, here’s something to take comfort in: a new spot for the disposing of income, Standard. It’s a food truck without wheels where you’re charged sales tax on your bill — this is also known as […]

Just days after it came into our lives, Harry Reid has given up trying to pass the $1.2-trillion spending omnibus, the greatest proposed legislation in the history of our great country. Reid said he would work with Mitch McConnell on a stopgap measure to fund the government for a bit, but how do you tell […]

Crisis has been averted: The government will probably not shut down at the end of the week, because Democrats put together a giant spending omnibus thing that will fund it for the next fiscal year. And what’s in the omnibus? Nobody really knows, but it’s all greased up and seems to have been cooked well, […]

From a recent Michele Bachmann statement that was supposedly concerning earmarks: Recently, porking has gotten way out of control. That is one way of putting it. [Minnesota Independent via operatives "SayItWithWookies," "Julie K."]

1998-throwback site Bare-Naked Islam treats the Muslim issue with smart commentary and reasoned discourse. Haha, just kidding, it’s just the worst batshit-crazy paranoid trash-dump of truly bizarre xenophobic bullshit you’re likely to see. Just remember, Islamaphobia isn’t real, it’s just a media fantasy perpetuated by your Wonkette: MUSLIMS ARE LIKE DOGS…… ……except Muslims use mosques […]

Len Britton is a Republican from Vermont running for U.S. Senate this election season — and if there’s one thing he loves, it’s sitting idly by on picnic tables while a random adult male throws diseased salmonella pork water on children who then drown in a lake. Britton approves of this evil stunt in the […]

Ha ha, remember when the 2009 budget bill passed and every single Republican on the face of the planet was OUTRAGED because of earmarks? (Well, mostly just John McCain.) Now the tables have turned and they love the shit out of earmarks, all of them, which is why they refused to support legislation banning these […]

You know who sucks? Poor jobless hungry people in America, that’s who! The famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report” got some GOP people very, very excited because Drudge posted something suggesting the government spent $1.2 million to purchase “two pounds of ham.” TALK ABOUT PORK SPENDING, HEY-O! But, according to sad pooh-bear agriculture secretary Tom […]

By the Comics CurmudgeonRemember the good old days of American wit when our nation’s cleverest sat around an elitist table at a fancy New York City hotel and made cutting remarks so subtle and erudite that nobody within earshot could tell what the hell they were talking about? And also, they were drunk? Well, those […]