Tag: pork

Alabama’s Richard Shelby, In Office A Million Years, May Be Glued To Seat: Your Senate Sunday

Alabama's Richard Shelby has been in the U.S. Senate since the Reagan administration. That seems about long enough, don't you think?
Huckabee preparing to hold a shotgun to the head of a black American.

Mike Huckabee: Doing The Gay Is Just Like Swearing, Having a Beer

Dear practitioners of homogay buttsechs, Mike Huckabee -- former Arkansas governor, Baptist minister, once and future failed presidential candidate, once and future Fox News host, Ted Nugent’s buddy (which does not at all make him a big ol’ hypocrite, no...

Rub, Roll, Tie Up Big Meat And Heat Until Bulging, Dripping With Fat

Cook big pieces of meat in your oven during the winter to fill the air in your home with warmth and animal fat vapor. Porchetta (pronounced "porketta," and sometimes spelled that way, too) is a pork roast made up...
You're fooling yourself. Equestria is a dictatorship

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Lieberals And Your Stupid Fake ‘Global Warming’

Oh, golly gee, this will be a fun edition of Dear Shitferbrains, because not only do we have a genuine climate denier in our the ol' comments queue, we also have a concern troll who accuses us of being...

Jon Stewart Has Had It With Cheesy, Bacony Super Bowl Munchie Shortages

With this year's Super Bowl being played by teams from states that have legalized weed, there are rumored shortages of Velveeta and bacon, maybe. The nation's strategic reserves of munchies could be endangered! Or is the "Velveeta Shortage" simply...

Who Is Barack Obama Raping Today, Charles Krauthammer?

Charles Krauthammer, who is Barack Obama raping today? HA TRICK QUESTION! Barack Obama is raping everybody today, because he is raping our treasury, because Hurricane Sandy. (Also, while we are aware it should be "whom is Obama raping," because...

Michelle Malkin Knows Just Who Is To Blame For Withholding Sandy Relief (It Is Obama Duh)

We should stop being surprised when the party of personal responsibility blames EVERYONE ELSE for its own failures, time and time again. But somehow, we are still surprised! Every single time! We should also stop being surprised when Fox...

And Here Is a Photo of Michele Bachmann Disguised As a Pig

This is your Monday Fun Post picture of famous nut Michele Bachmann dressed in some kind of furry costume whilst campaigning for reelection in Hugo, Minnesota this weekend. That's nice. Is this because Michele Bachmann loves pork barrel spending...

Rick Santorum Is a Giant Pork Spender, As It Turns Out

Ah, Rick Santorum. Rick, Rick, Rick. After winning the support of 100 evangelical leaders this weekend, the conservative candidate solidified himself as a seriousish contender in the Republican race, which is exciting only because it means the New York...

Lil’ Chucky Schumer Proposes Adorable ‘No-Ride List’ For the Choo-Choos

Sen. Charles Schumer said he would push as well for added funding for rail security and commuter and passenger train track inspections and more monitoring of stations nationwide. When most people see news about a potential terrorist attack, they get...

And So Continues the Ironic Consumption of Pig

With all the economic unpleasantness and the wars and the fact that our quinoa habit is slowly starving South Americans, here’s something to take comfort in: a new spot for the disposing of income, Standard. It’s a food truck...

Dearly Departed Spending Omnibus Was Not Fit For This World

Just days after it came into our lives, Harry Reid has given up trying to pass the $1.2-trillion spending omnibus, the greatest proposed legislation in the history of our great country. Reid said he would work with Mitch McConnell...

$1.1 Trillion Spending Bill Greased Up and Ready To Fund Dumb Government

Crisis has been averted: The government will probably not shut down at the end of the week, because Democrats put together a giant spending omnibus thing that will fund it for the next fiscal year. And what's in the...

Bachmann: ‘Porking Has Gotten Way Out of Control’

From a recent Michele Bachmann statement that was supposedly concerning earmarks: Recently, porking has gotten way out of control. That is one way of putting it.

Puppy Dogs Blew Up the WTC, Apparently

1998-throwback site Bare-Naked Islam treats the Muslim issue with smart commentary and reasoned discourse. Haha, just kidding, it's just the worst batshit-crazy paranoid trash-dump of truly bizarre xenophobic bullshit you're likely to see. Just remember, Islamaphobia isn't real, it's...

Vermont Senate Candidate Approves of Drowning Children, To Make a Point

Len Britton is a Republican from Vermont running for U.S. Senate this election season -- and if there's one thing he loves, it's sitting idly by on picnic tables while a random adult male throws diseased salmonella pork water...