Pope Benedict

So last year we asked the not-new-anymore Pope to cool it on the whole Mafia-bashing, mostly because we don’t want them to put a hit out on Francis. He hasn’t gotten rid of nearly enough creepy John Paul II and Benedict XIV-appointed archbishops to ensure that a cool New New Pope would ascend. But Pope […]

Oh boy, here we go! This week may have started out all “slow-newsy-snoozey” but never fear, wonketteers! The fabulous ruby-slippered Pope’s retirement has become embroiled in a scandal described with words like “seething hotbed of intrigue and infighting.” What? Oh yes! Let the hunt for all double entendres possible commence! A potentially explosive report has […]

So, as you know, the Pope went all Brave Sir Robin today, but apparently it is very, very uncivil to make jokes about The Impressive Clergyman, or to mention that the institution he has led since 2005 has had a bit of a problem with kiddy-diddling priests. Almost as soon as the news was announced, […]

Pope Benedict’s trip to England started on a sort of racist, not-helpful note. But the Big XVI has recovered, and he even told the Limey newspaper men that you know, isn’t it a pity the Church was able to suppress allegations of child abuse for so long? Pope Benedict XVI, beginning a controversial state visit […]

Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger flew on his supervillain pope-plane to Portugal and said a few words about the decades-long child-rape scandal destroying the Vatican Mafia’s global bullshit business. This is apparently a big deal, that Ratzinger sort of half-ass acknowledged that priests and bishops raping children and the highest officials in the Catholic Church engineering […]