poors
Why Does The GOP Love Wasting Money On African Food Aid? A Wonksplainer!
Back by popular demand, I’m here to wonksplain how our stupid Congresspeople continue to legislate with the combined IQ of a Michelle Malkin and Glenn Beck love child. Today’s topic: International Food Aid! Or, why your tax monies is going to help poor Ethernopians in the most inefficient way possible. Put on your thinking caps [...]
Wisconsin Considers Forbidding Poors From Buying Cheese
Hey, which state hates Poors the most? If you guessed Florida, we’d understand your instincts, but you’d be wrong (today anyway) because Wisconsin is going to prohibit Poors from buying several types of cheese. Yes, cheese. Not “cheez” or “cheez füd” but “cheese,” as in Swiss, Cheddar, and low sodium. (No word yet on cedar [...]
Banks ‘Pleased’ To Be Paying Pittance To Poors Whose Homes They Stole
Remember that elderly disabled veteran that Wells Fargo wrongfully foreclosed on and then billed to death over a typo? Well too bad he dropped dead in court, because he otherwise would have (maybe) been entitled to a cool $300 – $1000 to compensate him for his time and inconvenience. No, really: this is what his [...]
Conservatives Unable To Contain Their Glee As The Sequester Punishes Insolent Subhumans
Happy Sequester Day everyone! Do you have anything special plans to mark this joyous occasion of across the board spending cuts to federally funded programs? No? Well most moochers are pretty upset by this wholesale abandonment of spending in the public interest. Only some enlightened people can see the glorious utopia that is on the [...]
Banks Joining Up With Payday Lenders To Find Creative Ways To Screw Poors
Hello, are you interested in hearing something horrible about banks? Of course you are, big banks are possibly one of the worst things that have happened to the American people in the last decade or so, which is why you will not be surprised to learn that they have started partnering with small, internet-based payday [...]
John Boehner To Poors: We Want To Pay You Less To Help You
Well, that was fast! John Boehner has taken a close look at President Obama’s minimum wage proposal and after less than 24 hours of careful deliberation, has decided that Poors are doing just fine, thanks, and also, we must pay Poors very little and this is the best way to help them. “When you raise [...]
Sorry Louisiana Olds, Children, Poors And AIDS-Havers, Bobby Jindal Is Taking Your Medicaid
We have important breaking news for you Wonketeers: the first concentric ring of hell exists, and it is Louisiana. Is this a surprise, really? No, probably not: as aforementioned, it is home to the highest infant mortality rate, the fifth-highest maternal mortality rate, the fourth-worst life expectancy rate, the fifth-highest violent crime rate, the second-highest [...]
Minnesota Conducts Fun ‘Experiment’ On Its Olds, Poors
Guess what happens when middle aged people are given a $400-per-month voucher to purchase health care in the Free Market. Guess! Just guess! Did you guess?
Senator Mike Lee Will Protect Poors By Protecting The Rich
Have you heard of Senator Mike Lee? Neither have we, all of these rich white guys look alike to us because we are reverse racist/sexists. Anyway, he has made it his business to stand out among the sea of white male GOP senators by going on Mike Huckabee’s radio show and something extra stupid (well, [...]
Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself
Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn’t bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin’ Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokes the first time around, and also probably because we didn’t care. But in fact, it is AFTER her (second) loss that [...]
Maybe Tim Tebow Is Kind Of A Dick? Update: Maybe Not?
I’m predicting Obama will take an early lead tomorrow… Until all the Republicans get off work. #RomneyRyan2012 — Tim Tebow (@TheTimmyTebow) November 5, 2012 Hahaha, Democrats — many of whom are minorities and/or working class, but others of whom are like, your mom, and teachers and stuff — are lazy moochers who just lie on [...]
Paul Ryan Loves Poors So Much He Didn’t Even Punch This Homeless Man In The Face (Video)
Remember yesterday, when we learned that mortician’s apprentice* Paul Ryan likes to help poor people by doing jobs that have already been done? (And THANKS, Wonkette tip line tipsters, for asking this morning why we are not all over this. THANKS FOR READING, SO MUCH. Here, let us give you that link AGAIN.) And not [...]
Dishwatergate: Paul Ryan Dishwashing Scandal Worse Than Ever Imagined
In the distant past — a couple hours ago? — we saw on the Tweeter that utter douche Paul Ryan had done some stupid photo-op at a soup kitchen where breakfast had already been served and the dishes already washed. But never one to let a 15-minute investment be for naught, he picked up a [...]
Elegant Pajamas Media Lady Blogger: Jesus Would Hate Today’s Poor People, Who Should Be More Like In Dickens
ATTENTION POOR PEOPLE: Pajamas Media blogger Kathy Shaidle would like you to stop being boozy crackheads who spend all your money on weaves and tacky club clothes, at once and now! Let us listen to the good lady’s gentle murmurs on the subject, as she has some Bible Science she would like to drop on [...]
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