Tag Archives: poors

  Certain conditions may apply

Good News, Kansas Poors, You’re Allowed To Eat Food Again

Typical Kansas ATM line.
Typical Kansas ATM line. Good news! Kansas has decided been compelled to reverse course on its cute little idea for how poors should be able to get TANF benefits, but shouldn’t be able to actually access those benefits, due to how they’re not allowed to pull more than $25 per day in welfare moneys out of the ATM, which pretty much precludes people from being able to do long-term meal planning and the like. Also makes it hard to pay any other bills that cost more than $25! And of course, those $25 withdrawals each came with a $1 fee to the state, and often more fees on top of that, paid directly to banks, because fuck you poors, if you don’t like it, shouldn’t you just not be poor? Read more on Good News, Kansas Poors, You’re Allowed To Eat Food Again…
  Gross dude

Scott Walker Literally Begging For Pee Now

If you are the Republican governor of Wisconsin, you have two fetishes. The first one is hot ham and rolls, which Scott Walker is in love with in a biblical way. The second one is pee, specifically the pee of poor people on food stamps, because you know all those gross poors are addicted to drugs, and if they’re not, well, why don’t they prove it by giving the governor some pee? Read more on Scott Walker Literally Begging For Pee Now…
  Don't read while you are eating you will be laughing too hard

Oklahoma Republicans Make Hilarious Joke About How Poors Are Gross Animals

Right in the earhole.
It’s tough to be a Republican these days if you don’t have an overwhelming disdain for people who struggle to get by (often because they’re held back by Republican policies, funny how that works). Because THOSE PEOPLE, right? Anyway, all Republicans know that if people are poor, it’s their fault — unless the poors are Republicans, in which case they are “going through a thing” which is “not at all like those welfare queens” — so it was perfectly natural for the Oklahoma GOP to post this to its FacePlace page: Read more on Oklahoma Republicans Make Hilarious Joke About How Poors Are Gross Animals…
  nice time!

Chin Up, New York Poors, You No Longer Have To Use Separate-But-Equal Doors

Hey poors, good news about the doors!
Among the many methods we as Americans have to communicate to poorer folks that they’re Less Than, New York’s “poor doors” have to be one of the grossest. If you’re not familiar, developers in the city would get huge tax breaks for including “affordable housing” (by New York standards) in their projects, but because of a loophole, they were allowed to create special entrances, only for the poors, that lead to the residences of the poors. Out of sight, out of mind, right? And they couldn’t use the nice people doors, the ones that led to beautiful swimming pools, rooftop decks and diamond-encrusted blowjob Candy Land parlors or whatever’s hot in The City these days. Why would the poors need that stuff anyway? Read more on Chin Up, New York Poors, You No Longer Have To Use Separate-But-Equal Doors…
  Are There No Jerk Houses?

Fox News Has Thoughts On Obama’s ‘Leeches’ Speech. They Are Bad Thoughts!

Tell 'em about the talents again
Oh, there goes Barack Obama again, beating up on the crusading journalists of Fox News for having the guts to selectively depict poor people as terrible leeches. At a Georgetown University event Tuesday, Obama said media narratives have presented a skewed image of poor people, because outrage sells: Read more on Fox News Has Thoughts On Obama’s ‘Leeches’ Speech. They Are Bad Thoughts!…
  except no he is not

Senate Cafeteria Cook Is On Food Stamps, Must Be One Of Those Moochers GOP Always Talks About

Not an exact rendering of the Senate cafeteria.
There is a piece in The Guardian written by Bertrand Olotara, one of the many service workers who ensures that Congress even HAS a place in which to grandstand, or alternately, sit around and do nothing. Olotara is a cook in the Senate cafeteria, and he and his fellow workers, employees of a government contractor, are pissed off, and they are striking. You see, Olotara, who cooks every day for senators and their staffers (when they’re not eating free Taco Bell or Chick-Fil-A), is on food stamps, because he is a single father, and he can’t afford to put food on his family on the $12 an hour he is paid to shovel gruel into Ted Cruz’s wordhole: Read more on Senate Cafeteria Cook Is On Food Stamps, Must Be One Of Those Moochers GOP Always Talks About…
  If you're using vaseline to fuck the poors you're doing it wrong

In Maine, A Chafed A**Hole Gets Vaseline

At this point the governor does not know she has greasy Vaseline lube in her purse.
Maine governor Paul LePage is a real shitbag. In 2013, he said a mean about Democratic state senator Troy Jackson, specifically that Jackson does rude things to Mainers in their butts, or more precisely that he “claims to be for the people but he’s the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline.” Ya burnt! Also, that is the wrong way to do it, if you are using Vaseline, you are doing it wrong. So that is the context for why a former Democratic Maine rep lady named Jeanne Twomey decided that LePage was being a dick during a town hall meeting, and proceeded to fling a bottle of Vaseline at his head (and miss, because Democrats can’t throw, science fact): Read more on In Maine, A Chafed A**Hole Gets Vaseline…
  wwjd?

San Francisco Cathedral Soaks The Homeless With Water Every Night, Like Jesus Would

St. Mary’s Cathedral in San Francisco has come up with a novel way of interpreting that Bible verse where it says, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.” They added a new part, which apparently says ,”But once I found a comfy place to rest my head, you super-soaked me repeatedly to make sure that I, a homeless person, could not get ANY sleep, you dicks.” Yes, St. Mary’s is under fire for drenching homeless people with sprinklers at night, in hopes that they might find somewhere else to sleep: Read more on San Francisco Cathedral Soaks The Homeless With Water Every Night, Like Jesus Would…
  ain't no poors on ole rocky top

Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking

Volunteer this. Stupid poors.
Last year, Tennessee (state motto: We’re Vaguely Rectangular!) got into the hot new game of drug testing welfare recipients to make sure that none of them were spending their time having any fun. Because what good is having poor people if you can’t systematically scold and humiliate them for being poor? Now the results of the first six months of testing are in, and how are they? A rousing success, if your definition of success is busting a whopping 0.2 percent of people who applied for public assistance. Read more on Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking…
  It's Obama's fault

Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty

lying liar who lies
We know what you are thinking, and it is that you haven’t seen enough of Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)  in the news lately. What has he been up to? Oh, nothing much, just saying lies about President Obama’s new budget proposal in his best sanctimonious voice, but it doesn’t really matter, because he is only the extremely powerful chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, which is in charge of tax legislation. Read more on Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty…
  priority mail this sucka

Elizabeth Warren Will Help The Post Office Kick Payday Lender Ass

Do you lurrrvvvveeeee Senator Elizabeth Warren, mostly because she looks like the awesome schoolmarm/librarian of your childhood dreams? Of course you do, silly. She’s all the smart and fair fiscal and consumer policies you could ever want, rolled into a very nice lady who has balls of steel. Today, Warren brought the hammer the fuck DOWN on payday lenders, suggesting that we could just toss those scummy companies right out the door and let the US Postal Service partner with banks to handle banking services for low-income/low bank access people. First, a word on just how scummy those payday lenders are. Have you ever used one? Do you live somewhere where there are basically no banks and you have to go to a payday lender instead? You get the privilege of going somewhere that manages to find a way to skirt most state-level financial regulations and charge you whatever the hell they want to access your money or borrow money. But if you ban these check cashing/payday lending horrorshows, you literally leave the poors with no way to access their money, since jerbs insist on paying you with checks. But, if we kick it USPS stylee like Warren suggests, we can provide banking services to the poors and not screw them over at every turn. Yay! Read more on Elizabeth Warren Will Help The Post Office Kick Payday Lender Ass…
  i will work harder!

Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL

Here is a fun fact: when Poors have less money, they spend less money. Also, when you give people money, they spend more money. However, when you punish  poor people by withholding their money to spend on food they have less money to spend on food, so they spend less money on food. The end result is not, as Rand Paul argued, “less slavery,”  but rather less food being sold.  Read more on Food Stamp Cuts Reduce Wal-Mart Profits And We’re Not Even Talking About Its Employees, LOL…
  A Sphincter Says What?

Millionaire NYT Columnist David Brooks: Poor People Won’t Be Poor If They Just Act Like Rich People

Good news, Poors! David Brooks has decided to take on the topic of income inequality, and has concluded that 1) income inequality is not actually a problem, and 2) if it were, we shouldn’t solve it by giving poor people more money, and also 3) the growing income of the 1% has nothing to do with the shrinking incomes of the rest of us. Hear that? NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Here, let the man with the 4 million dollar home explain to us why giving money to poor people will be of absolutely no help to them. Read more on Millionaire NYT Columnist David Brooks: Poor People Won’t Be Poor If They Just Act Like Rich People…
  The Grapes Of Math

We Prove It With Numbers: If You Are A Child Living In A GOP-Controlled State, You Are Screwed

There’s a new report from the Annie E. Casey Foundation that shows child poverty increased between 2010 and 2011 even as the economy was allegedly recovering from the recession, but who cares, kids don’t read blogs anyway, right? Ha, we joke, because that’s what we do when we are sad! Remember how corporate profits reached all-time highs in 2011? They did not give any of that money to the poor children, it turns out. Anyway, yr Wonkette went ahead and did some Excel magic with this and other readily-available data and noticed something very interesting! So what did we “find?” In short, we found that children living in states with GOP-controlled legislatures tended to be worse off overall than their levels of economic poverty would indicate, while the opposite was true for the majority of Democrat-controlled states. Go Team! This almost makes up for the Democrats having been such shameless Wall Street whores for the last 20 years. Almost! Read more on We Prove It With Numbers: If You Are A Child Living In A GOP-Controlled State, You Are Screwed…
  let them eat bootstraps

With Nothing Else to Worry About, Congress Cuts Food Stamp Budget

Hey, remember when the economy went to hell and one in ten workers were out of a job  and millions of Americans lost their homes? That was awful, but LUCKILY rich people have completely recovered from the Great Recession (and then some!), so Congress is now finally able to tackle the very pressing matter of cutting the food stamp budget against the wishes of the American people. This is Econ 101: in the event of a prolonged economic downturn, 1. fire as many government workers as possible, and then 2. make sure Poors cannot get enough to eat so they will be forced to start a bootstrap business and become makers instead of takers. We’ve already accomplished number 1, so now it’s time to get cracking on the poors: Monday night, the Senate passed a five-year farm bill that contained $4.1 billion in cuts to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) over ten years. This ensures that the only debate now will be about how much to cut—and it’s likely to result in cuts much deeper than $4.1 billion. Read more on With Nothing Else to Worry About, Congress Cuts Food Stamp Budget…