Tag Archives: poor people

  ain't no poors on ole rocky top

Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking

Volunteer this. Stupid poors.
Last year, Tennessee (state motto: We’re Vaguely Rectangular!) got into the hot new game of drug testing welfare recipients to make sure that none of them were spending their time having any fun. Because what good is having poor people if you can’t systematically scold and humiliate them for being poor? Now the results of the first six months of testing are in, and how are they? A rousing success, if your definition of success is busting a whopping 0.2 percent of people who applied for public assistance. Read more on Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking…
  Are there no workhouses?

States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, because the level of bamboozlement and chicanery and hoodwinkery should get a Political NC-17 rating, turning up the faux-rage to eleven… nay, to TWELVE. TWELVE WE SAY. TWELVE. Sorry we are breaking such awful news to you. Despite the efforts of the GOP (and all too many weak-willed Dems) to cut food stamps by some $8 billion, states are finding ways to continue to provide food stamps, much to the petulant outrage of the GOP, per The Hill: “I would hope that the House would act to try to stop this cheating and this fraud from continuing,” Boehner said. Clearly. States are doing their best to eradicate child malnutrition, and This. Must. Be. Stopped.  Read more on States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed…
  markwayne's worldwayne

Up-And-Coming Oklahoma Rep. Markwayne Mullin Vs. The Birther Princess & The Physically Fit Poors

On the one hand, Oklahoma congresscritter Markwayne “Not a typo” Mullin doesn’t have a lot of patience for this self-described “Birther Princess” who keeps trying to hand him Joe Arpaio’s absolutely conclusive Birther Holy Grail. In fact, at one point (1:08), he even says, “Honestly, I don’t even give a shit.” We’d really like to applaud him for that. On the other hand, he doesn’t think the Birther Princess is wrong, just that continuing to talk about the birth certificate is bad tactics: “…we lost that argument November 6. We had 4 years to get that proven and we didn’t, we reelected him, so that’s a dead issue.” Mullin even takes the opportunity to announce that he’s a birther too — “I believe what you’re saying,” he adds (2:55). But by then, it’s too late for solidarity, and the poor spurned dissident stomps out of the meeting, muttering, “But he’s not a real President!” A sympathetic member of the audience posted the video to YouTube, complete with a Fox-News-inspired identification of Mullin’s party as “D” (there are no “D’s” in the Oklahoma delegation). Read more on Up-And-Coming Oklahoma Rep. Markwayne Mullin Vs. The Birther Princess & The Physically Fit Poors…
  seems legit

Rush Limbaugh, Naturally, Is Very Concerned About Why Barack Obama Abducted And Raped Those Cleveland Girls

Guys, do you want a person who kidnaps three young girls, and then rapes and beats and impregnates and beats and rapes them some more to be the president of the United States? You DON’T? That is so weird! Because now you and Rush Limbaugh are on the same page! Oh, except Rush Limbaugh doesn’t say Obama actually raped and beat and impregnated and kidnapped the girls himself. He just made it possible, with his welfare and Obamaphones, by time traveling back to 10 years ago, when the girls were kidnapped and he was not president. Let’s give a listen! “[A]s it so happens, I happened last night to watch Hawaii Five-0 on CBS,” he explained. “Hawaii Five-O‘s premise last night was kidnapped girls held until they were 18 and then let go or killed — well, always killed — by a couple doing it for the welfare benefits.” As soon as Rush Limbaugh find the AFDC application listing Michelle Knight, Gina DeJesus, and Amanda Berry as dependents, we will be happy to give that a listen. But is there more? Well there is a “read more” tag, so we assume so! Read more on Rush Limbaugh, Naturally, Is Very Concerned About Why Barack Obama Abducted And Raped Those Cleveland Girls…
  We Just Falafel About This

Bill O’Reilly Is Very Peeved That People Found His Racist Rant Racist

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com So, Mr. O’Reilly here is really cheesed at You People for calling him a racist. All he did was point out that Barack Obama was reelected by a bunch of poor nonwhite people who want productive white Americans to give them All The Things, and then people started calling him bad names. Like “racist,” which is certainly a new one for Bill O’Reilly that he has never been called before! But look, children, Mitt Romney came out just a week after the election and said pretty much the same things himself, as Mr. O’Reilly points out. It’s just the truth! Nobody called Romney a racist (sure they did! Really! More than once!), but Romney also didn’t actually come out and say “White America is over, man.” He just implied it, like. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Is Very Peeved That People Found His Racist Rant Racist…
  some might even consider the poor wealthy

In Case You Forgot, Mitt Romney Doesn’t Care About Poor People

Mitt Romney used to sort of not hate poor people, back when all the frothy-mawed rabid conservatives were looking the other way. Now, though, Mitt is pivoting like the big-shot management consultant he used to be (before he had to let himself go, for efficiency). This means the time has come for America’s underclass to start making some sacrifices, in the form of an even more stagnant minimum wage, for the political survival of their future billionaire overseer. Look, you want a job, don’t you? Read more on In Case You Forgot, Mitt Romney Doesn’t Care About Poor People…
  occupy higher education

Obama Says College Will Be Affordable Again One Day, Maybe

Greetings old friends! It’s your Wonkabout on Special Assignment for your Wonkette to report on Obama’s college affordability speech at the University of Michigan where she just happens to be doing some learning of her own these days. So what did our dear President have to say to a crowd of hopeless college students hungover from Thirsty Thursday about why their education now costs 16 kajillion dollars? Read more on Obama Says College Will Be Affordable Again One Day, Maybe…
  you didn't need that stuff anyway

As American Middle Class Vanishes, Advertisers Focus Only On Richest 10%

Here’s something with a plus and a minus: Most Americans will soon be free of endless advertising and marketing campaigns, because the advertising industry has decided the only money to be made is in marketing things to the last people with money, the richest 10%. Read more on As American Middle Class Vanishes, Advertisers Focus Only On Richest 10%…
  it's for their own good

With 45 Million Americans On Food Stamps, GOP Will Cut Food Stamps

The number of Americans relying on federal help to get food has been climbing for years now, with 45 million people and 21 million households currently dependent on the program. It’s not just the unemployed relying on the vouchers — seniors, veterans, school children and the disabled are among the groups hit hardest in this Great Recession. And the Republicans in Congress have a great idea that will save money and take care of the hunger problem: Cut America’s “Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program” completely so that the hungry people will all die. Win win! Read more on With 45 Million Americans On Food Stamps, GOP Will Cut Food Stamps…
  it's morning in america

Predictable Florida Governor Will Drug Test Poor People

Koch-gobbling weirdo Rick Scott is about to sign a bill that would require welfare recipients to undergo routine drug testing. Better still, this new legislation makes the poor people pay for their own drug tests! (Do you need welfare money, for food? No sir, you need that money to pay for your drug test.) Anyway: “Recipients who test positive for drugs would lose their benefits for a year. If they fail a second time, they lose the benefits for three years. Parents who test positive must designate another adult to receive benefits on behalf of their children.” Sounds legit. Just another assault on poor people that will go entirely unnoticed. Pass the hobo beans! (What hobo beans? Oh, you mean this delicious drug test? Yummy in the tummy.) [McClatchy] Read more on Predictable Florida Governor Will Drug Test Poor People… Read more on Predictable Florida Governor Will Drug Test Poor People…
  it's morning in america

Violent Egyptian Military Junta Interrogates Hosni Mubarak

Hey, Hosni Mubarak is “back” — from Comaland? — and has been detained for questioning by the new and terrible Egyptian military regime (which loves murdering demonstrators and throwing helpless bloggers in jail). And now Mubarak will be forced to answer allegations of widespread corruption, abuse of authority and the killing of protesters during his reign. (“So, Mubarak, what’s the best way to kill a protester?”) Mubarak’s sons have also been taken into custody, and are being held at Tora prison in Cairo — which is where lots of former Mubarak cronies are currently imprisoned. Anyway! One violent, corrupt military junta prosecutes another. That Democratic Revolution worked out. Nothing to see here. [McClatchy] Read more on Violent Egyptian Military Junta Interrogates Hosni Mubarak… Read more on Violent Egyptian Military Junta Interrogates Hosni Mubarak…
  oh well

America About As Awful As Ever

Here are just a few reasons why you should move to the Moon as soon as possible: Predictable asshole Scott Walker has threatened to fire public employees if his famous union-busting bill remains tied up in court. Meanwhile, Barack Obama is frantically Zeppelin-bombing brown people all over the world, for Freedom — and our trillion-dollar deficit woes will soon be over, once we stop wasting federal money on “food for children from low-income families.” Habeas corpus has now been suspended for almost ten years, so if you haven’t paid your taxes yet you will be raped by the CIA, in Lithuania. (We miss the “good old days,” when at least you could masturbate to the dirty, dirty lies about how great Our Nation is — since they usually came out of Dana Perino’s tender, post-911 mouth-hole on C-SPAN Live, so you could fap in real time.) Never Forget. Read more on America About As Awful As Ever…
  it's morning in america

Reptile People From the Future Will Eventually Read Sarah Palin’s E-Mails

For reasons which are all too clear, The Wretched State of Alaska has delayed the release of Sarah Palin’s governor e-mails fourteen times, and two more delays are pending! Why won’t Alaska’s bureaucrats let us read the gchat exchanges between Sarah Palin and the Bloomingdale’s panties that she purchased with Michael Steele’s American Express card? And will we ever have the pleasure of enjoying the frantic e-mails Palin sent to Planned Parenthood, when she found out Bristol was eight months pregnant? No. But Martian colonists will read about all of these things, in five hundred years. [McClatchy] Read more on Reptile People From the Future Will Eventually Read Sarah Palin’s E-Mails… Read more on Reptile People From the Future Will Eventually Read Sarah Palin’s E-Mails…
  overwhelmed by indignities

Hillary Clinton Will Make $4,700 Less Per Year Than Condoleezza Rice

Poor Hillary Clinton, who spends literally all of her time sending out spoofed Joe Biden emails begging donations for her massive campaign debt, has yet another financial indignity on her horizon: She’ll make $4,700 less per year than the current black Secretary of State, because that’s how Barack Obama’s America rolls. Read more on Hillary Clinton Will Make $4,700 Less Per Year Than Condoleezza Rice…
  the poor stay poor the rich get rich

Gap Grows Between U.S. Richie Riches and Wretched American Poor

Of America’s many great achievements in this young century, nothing can really top the savage rape and murder of the American Dream. Nobody really mentions it anymore, but ancient texts refer to this notion that everyone, through hard work, could become free and happy through the earning of riches, and then their kids would do even better, etc. Well, it is no longer true. Since the year 2000, only the wealthy have made more money. Everybody else is fucked, and the divide is rapidly getting wider. This is the conclusion of a three-year study by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, a communist-terrorist group consisting of the United States and other rich nations. Read more on Gap Grows Between U.S. Richie Riches and Wretched American Poor…
  bullshit du jour

What Is This ‘ACORN’ Crap About, Anyway?

One of the weirdest things to watch in American politics is how the wingnuts do these lockstep moves to some “what the hell are they even talking about?” fake outrage, and within hours there are millions of inane illiterate blog comments and chain emails and C-SPAN callers all prattling on about something nobody had any problem with and had never even heard of, say, last week. How does this happen? What is ACORN, anyway? Read more on What Is This ‘ACORN’ Crap About, Anyway?…
  there is no castration fear

Louisiana State Rep Suggests Ending Poverty By Ending Poor People

You know what Louisiana Republicans love? Constructing elaborate state-funded schemes for tinkering with the loins of undesirables. First comes Governor Bobby Jindal’s amazing proposal to castrate sex offenders, and now some kook in Metairie wants to pay poor women $1000 to have their tubes tied so that they will quit squirting out orphans to suckle at the government teat. Wait, what? A Republican in favor of state-funded birth control? Well, why the hell not? Read more on Louisiana State Rep Suggests Ending Poverty By Ending Poor People…
  nation of whiners

PHIL GRAMM: POOR PEOPLE SUCK! “There wasn’t ever a bit of evidence for such an absurd claim, but it didn’t matter. If you repeat a lie often enough, in front of an American Flag, it becomes true for people too dim to know better. After all, it was Patriotic, and only communists and homosexuals would be against Patriotism.” [AOL Political Machine] Read more on …
 

McCain Campaign Gives Up, Will Accept Welfare

Liberals like John McCain have spent their lives spending your money in Washington, so it’s no surprise that McCain’s campaign has given up its pathetic fund-raising attempts and will now go on the Election 2008 dole. Today, the McCain camp admitted it will “accept taxpayer money to finance his general election and share other costs with the Republican National Committee,” the Politico reports. And guess what kind of no-money-having people Americans hate more than anything? Read more on McCain Campaign Gives Up, Will Accept Welfare…
 

BITTER DESSERTS: Pennsylvania voters finally sick of Hillary’s bitter hustle, so they shout for her to shut up when she tries a fourth day of pretending all poor people are so happy to be poor and out of work because of her husband. [Washington Post’s The Trail] Read more on …
 

Hilarious Signs That It’s Not A Great Depression Yet

Marketwatch wants you to cheer up. Well, not all of you, just the ones with investments and money who are freaking out because poor people are rioting over scarce food supplies, millions of foreclosed homes are sitting empty and unsold, and local governments are no longer able to afford police and firefighters to protect rich people from the hordes. What to do? Laugh, that’s what! Read more on Hilarious Signs That It’s Not A Great Depression Yet…