So what the hell happened in Tokyo this morning? Some of your ideas: MORE »

Dick Cheney is flying around the Pacific calling for more war forever and ever with everyone everywhere this week, and your hard-working press corps is with him every step of the way. Here’s a snippet from this morning’s Mark Silva pool report: MORE »

Any excuse to use this graphic again. MORE »

Today’s courtesy Jim Gerstenzang of the Los Angeles Times:

Pool Report #1
Bike Ride?
Aug. 25

For approximately an hour and a half, the president apparently did whatever he does in the woods. We did not see him; we saw only circumstantial evidence that his activity involved biking. (While the pool waited on the road at Walker’s Point, someone carried a bike rack up the driveway). We were told, however, that the activity took place in the Massabesic Experimental Forest, situated, a local resident said, in Lyman and Alfred, Maine. (Emphasis added.)

And, uh, as we always say, there’s no better place for… that… than an “Experimental Forest.”

The obvious jokes are too obvious. Fill ‘em in yourselves in the comments if you need to.

Full report after the jump.

MORE »

This morning’s White House pool report is a real gem — and it’s short, so we won’t even put it on a jump page. Here it is: MORE »

Bush stopped off in New Orleans to help pretend to rebuild crap (though we do think it’d be more effective if they just paid for professionals) — you pooler was there.

Bush put on a carpenters apron and talked to a few workers in front of a Dewalt table saw. He would later add gloves to working attire. He shook a lot of hands and helped carry the beams that will soon support the roof. He called on your pooler to join the volunteers - I declined. He made his way to the first floor and grabbed a hammer to pound a few nails. He was pounding in the brackets that help fortify the frame. Nagin, no stranger to the camera, started pounding along side bush. Nagin made a few jokes about people he would like to pound and the two talked briefly about Nagin’s left-handed hammering. “I am a lefty all the way,” Nagin said. Bush, of course, is a righty.

No details on who, exactly, Nagin wanted to “pound,” but we imagine things got suddenly very tense. No mention of Air Force One’s gas milage, either — you’re slipping, guys.

Your pool reporter was noted Fox News critic Jim VandeHei. Full report after the jump.

MORE »

So the President did something about Gas Prices. It’s about time someone did something about Gas Prices! We hear he ordered a probe! The huge press he’s getting for it aside, today’s pool report seems rather less than impressed: MORE »

But he did have what sounds like a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Here’s what actually happened with respect to yesterday’s White House pool report, from Mr. Lewis himself (whose email we reprint with his permission): MORE »

[Update: Please see this correction/clarification.]

Look, we’re the last people to call someone out for oversleeping — we do it all the time. The number of times we hit the “snooze” button sometimes reaches the double digits.

But we’re not White House pool reporters. And we weren’t AWOL on one of the biggest news mornings in recent memory (even if our servers might have been, temporarily).

Check it out:

From: White House Press Releases
Sent: Wednesday, April 19, 2006 12:03 PM
Subject: POOL REPORT #1, 4/19/06

POOL REPORT #1

April 19, 2006

It was a morning of massive systems failures.

Failure number one: In an attempt to shed its reputation as a crack news gathering machine, the Copley News Service managed to screw up its pool duty. The details are too trivial and boring to recite here but the curious may call and I will sheepishly supply. That there is any pool report at all is entirely due to the gracious and patient help of Reuters’ crack WH staff, Patty Wilson in particular.

So pool reporter Finlay Lewis implies that he didn’t oversleep — but he doesn’t outright deny it either. He seems to be suggesting that, well, he just kinda forgot that he was on today (”managed to screw up its pool duty”). Not sure if that’s much better.

Shit — what a day for forgetfulness! You miss one little morning of pool reporting, and the new chief of staff goes and shakes everything up on you. Life is so unfair!

The full mea culpa appears after the jump. (We won’t mock Lewis too much, since he does quite a bit himself.)

MORE »

This afternoon we poked fun at the excuse for a pool report filed by Joseph Curl, who covers the White House for the sushi-subsidized Washington Times. We made Joe the following offer: “If you’d like to file an amended pool report, after attending remedial pool reporting class this afternoon, just email it to us, and we will disseminate.”

Perhaps Joe heard us — his next pool report reflects much more diligence than his last one. Although it’s still marked by a certain breezy insouciance, it lacks the “I don’t give a rat’s ass” tone of his last missive.

Check it out for yourself, after the jump.

MORE »

Being a White House correspondent sounds like a great gig. Several former WH correspondents have gone on to that Valhalla for print journalism, television. And don’t forget their glamorous gala, the White House Correspondents Association dinner, taking place on Saturday, April 29. (Speaking of which: Word on the street is that invites to the Bloomberg after-party are out now. Are you on the list?) MORE »