Wonkette

In this White House pool report, someone gets a little grumbly about the administration’s even-for-them unprecedented crackdown on access:

As promised, your pool was left outside of the President Bush’s remarks to “Political Appointees and Senior Executive Service Employees.” So we don’t have a clue what was said or done in there. Were secret decoder rings handed out? Did they change the official Team Bush handshake? Was line dancing allowed? We just don’t know. What your pooler does know is that in past administrations when your pool was allowed into similar speeches, they were pep talks from presidents grateful for the employees’ service. Best to call the bevy of leakers who can shed some light on this top-secret event. 

Leakers? There are no leakers in the Bush White House!

Full report after the jump
 

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In this White House pool report, the President inaugurates a war on gas:

The presidential and vice presidential motorcades departed together in gas-guzzling tandem at 9:51 a.m., arriving at Fort Myer at 9:57 a.m. for the Armed Forces Farewell Tribute and Armed Forces Hail marking retirement of Gen. Richard Myers as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and swearing-in of Gen. Peter Pace (first Marine to hold the job) as his replacement. . . . Cannon fire in honor of Gen. Myers set off at least one car alarm, meaning either the vibration was sufficient to set off the alarm or that our troops had successfully downed a Chevy.

Oh, the tragedy of friendly fire.

[Reuters]

Full report after the jump.

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In this White House pool report, we learn how the President is cutting down on “non-essential travel”: To a “farewell dinner” for exiting Joint Chiefs chief Gen. Richard Myers, the motorcade

was marginally shorter in the SUV category - five - than the one that traveled to the Energy Department today, with six SUVs. But it was longer in vans, four tonight, compared with three this morning. Two limos, of course.

Of course.

Full report after the jump.

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In this White House pool report, Elisabeth Bumiller continues her try-out for Architectural Digest correspondent:

Bush will be lit with warm tungsten lighting, but the statue and cathedral will be illuminated with much brighter, brighter lights, along nothing like the candlepower that DeServi and Sforza used on Sept. 11, 2002, to light up the Statue of Liberty for Bush’s speech in New York Harbor.
 
Here’s a quote from DeServi on the lit up cathedral: “Oh, it’s heated up. It’s going to print loud.”

At least they’re admitting it’s theater.

Full report after the jump.

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In this White House pool report, some more of that “color” you won’t see in the papers tomorrow:  

The vice president was not uniformly welcomed in Gulfport. During a press availability in the middle of a street, a young man twice shouted obscenities at him before walking away. (He yelled: “Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney.”)

To which the Veep replied, “I have had people killed for less.”

Just kidding. He actually said he “hadn’t heard that before.” Short memory.

Both American Progress and Crooks and Liars have the video, full report after the jump.

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In this White House pool report, we titter inappropriately:

[Bush] wore a navy suit jacket, pale blue shit [sic and yes, we missed it the first time] and darker blue tie, waved at the press pool and the motorcade was off for a five minte ride to the Gaylords Texan Resorts and Convention Center.

GAY! Ha-ha! The president went to Gay-lords. Oh, we laughed for literally seconds. Of course, the big news to come out of yesterday’s speech to the “American Legislative Exchange Council” was that “struggles against extremism” are for pussies. This president likes war, this is a war, he’s gonna call it a war every fucking chance he gets.

UPDATE: We know, we know….

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• Frist takes on Bush by endorsing bill to expand stem-cell research; his support is crucial but Bush has promised to veto such legislation. Frist: “I believe the president’s policy should be modified.” [NYT]
• Bush likely to sign energy bill today. [WP, WSJ, LAT, USAT]
• Democrats issue request for specific files related to Roberts. [NYT, LAT]
• Attorney-client privilege may not protect Roberts. [LAT]
• Electronic error means the House approved of Cafta by only one vote, lawmaker insists. [NYT, LAT, WSJ]
• Pool reporter on the scene of Bush’s finger incident: “I think the video is inconclusive but leaning toward thumb. It’s just hard to imagine.” [WP]

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In this White House pool report, an anonymous source refuses to go on the record about the President’s compassion:

From: White House Press Releases
Date: July 22, 2005 3:49:20 PM EDT
Subject: POOL REPORT #2, 7/22/05 MORE »

In this White House pool report, Karl Rove gets all cryptic and shit:

At one point, Reuters reporter Adam Entous felt a tap on his shoulder. It was Rove, who handed him a small bottle of Tylenol PM pills. “You look like you could use this,” Entous said Rove told him.

A signal? A code? Does it mean that the media has been caught napping? Or could it mean that Rove thinks reporters have been staying up to late? Staying up too late plotting his downfall, and thus he would like them to sleep. He’s a wily one, boys, better hire a food-taster!

Or maybe this whole investigation is just a big headache.

Full report after the jump.

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