Tag Archives: pollsters

  begun these nerd wars have

Without Gallup’s Crappy Polls, Nate Silver Is Nothing, Says Gallup

One of the “fun” things about presidential elections is that every four years there’s a new dumb thing about the process for political junkies to yell at each other about despite the disinterest or genuine disgust of normals, and this year it’s polling! Did Nate Silver’s devil-math suck all the fun out of democracy, forever? Were the polls skewed because they didn’t reflect Republican understanding of reality? Were Gallup and Rasmussen “in the tank” for Republicans? Well, Gallup Editor-in-Chief Frank Newport has decided to weigh in on this controversy, and would like you to know that (a) Gallup was not wrong, because it abruptly stopped picking Romney to win by 7 points several days before the election, and (b) Nate Silver is a parasitic remora clinging to the great white shark that is Gallup and if everyone gets into the Nate Silver business the whole polling industry will collapse, and then we’ll have no polling at all, and then we’ll be sorry! Read more on Without Gallup’s Crappy Polls, Nate Silver Is Nothing, Says Gallup…
  extra cheese

Republican Voters Apparently Really, Really Like Herman Cain

Before we turned off the teevee after that terrible debate last night, the Republican Party’s appointed Divider, Frank Luntz, was doing what he always does, standing in front of the whitest people he could find in a few hours, asking them questions to find out how best to make people like this think their political opponents aren’t human beings, much less American. But before he could get into that, he had to allow this restless group of people to express their sudden yet profound commitment to do whatever Herman Cain, the next president of the United States, says. He didn’t just win the debate. He mopped the floor with them all. And it makes absolutely no sense. Read more on Republican Voters Apparently Really, Really Like Herman Cain…
  voters think voters think that voters think

Terrible Pollster Rasmussen Writes Today’s Dumbest Sentence

Scott Rasmussen and his polling firm have come under fire today for being absolutely terrible and nakedly partisan in their midterm polling, overestimating the performance of Republican candidates in about three-quarters of races. But that’s okay! They have a new poll that tells us exactly what America is thinking, once you figure out what the hell this sentence says: Read more on Terrible Pollster Rasmussen Writes Today’s Dumbest Sentence…
  everybody gets pulitzers!

Democrats Quietly Think They Will Hold the House, Also Quietly Think They Will Not Hold the House

According to the The Hotline, anonymous Democratic insiders are saying they think they will hold onto the House this election. According to Politico, anonymous Democratic insiders are saying they do not think they will hold onto the House this election. “[S]senior Democratic strategists say they’re not only likely to keep the House, but they believe the GOP won’t come close to gaining the 39 seats they need to take over.” And also: “Top Democrats are growing markedly more pessimistic about holding the House, privately conceding that the summertime economic and political recovery they were banking on will not likely materialize by Election Day.” Either these Democrats are bipolar, or somebody is bad at journalism. Read more on Democrats Quietly Think They Will Hold the House, Also Quietly Think They Will Not Hold the House…
  judgment day

So… Which Pollsters Live, Which Will Be Killed?

After 2004, two groups were blamed for making John Kerry’s loss extra sad for the liberals: those secret retards from off-the-grid caves that Karl Rove forced to vote at the last minute, and pollsters. All of the pollsters failed spectacularly on Election Day in 2004, especially with exit polls. Everyone knew that John Kerry was too much of a cocksmoker to possibly win anything, and yet these pollsters committed the CARDINAL SIN of getting Democrats’ hopes up about a national victory of any kind. But this year they tried again. Who will be first against the wall? Read more on So… Which Pollsters Live, Which Will Be Killed?…
 

GOP Strategists Gone Wild: Frank Luntz

Do you want to hear a story about Frank Luntz making a drunken fool of himself? Sure, we all do! Let’s go back to the hazy, crazy early 1990’s: Luntz was also an extremely accessible professor often making himself available to students while they were out partying. One night Luntz even came over to the house I shared with eleven others to play beer pong. He quickly got drunk and very loud. So loud that a studying housemate took away our sole ping pong ball to put a stop to the game. But Luntz would not hear of it and he instantaneously submitted to my housemates demand (for the ball) that he get down on his knees, kiss my housemates feet and beg for forgiveness. He got the ball back and the game continued. Read more on GOP Strategists Gone Wild: Frank Luntz…