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Posts Tagged ‘polls’

LOSE TERRY LOSE

A Children’s Treasury Of Sadness On Virginia Voting Day

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Virginia sure is a hot ticket today! Ha ha, Terry McAuliffe’s a nut. Let’s check out a few more photos our lovely Virginia operatives sent in of the most important local Democratic gubernatorial primary since Doug Duncan went insane and dropped out against Martin O’Malley in Maryland in 2006!!!!! MORE »


GREAT POLLS OF OUR TIME

Gallup Has A Scoop!

Monday, June 1st, 2009

And the sun is most likely to come out during the day, and dogs are most likely to eat dog food, maybe. [Gallup]


RADICAL LESBIANS

13% Of Americans Say Sotomayor Is Poor

Thursday, May 28th, 2009

This Gallup poll was conducted Tuesday, the day of Sonia Sotomayor’s announcement, so the Average American should have had plenty of time to comb through and analyze Sotomayor’s legal opinions before discriminating between “good” and “only fair.” [Gallup]


OH GOLLY

GOP In Trouble BUT ONLY Among *Human* Voters

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

Well here’s some good news for Republicans: they’ve finally rid the party of all non-Real Americans! ES UN ROAD TO RECOVERY? And besides, just look at how liberal this liberal poll is. Aside from “Nonwhite” — wtf, like Martians or something?? — it doesn’t even show the trend with Hispanic Mexicans! Surely the GOP has made huge gains in this demographic, hmm? [Balloon Juice]


THE FAILED INSTITUTION OF DEMOCRACY

Majority Of Americans Think ‘Cap-And-Trade’ Is About Hamburgers

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Sometimes you wonder if pollsters ask themselves “Is this an insulting thing to ask people?” before dialing up the opinionated American electorate. But no, not insulting, just revealing: “Given a choice of three options, just 24% of voters can correctly identify the cap-and-trade proposal as something that deals with environmental issues. A slightly higher number (29%) believe the proposal has something to do with regulating Wall Street while 17% think the term applies to health care reform. A plurality (30%) have no idea.” Hmm, looks to us like a majority (76%) “have no idea.” The other 24% are just queers. [Rasmussen via Yglesias]


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

23% of Americans Approve of Republican Party

Friday, April 24th, 2009

You're doing it wrong.As the GOP accelerates its transition to America’s own “National Front” fringe-nut-racist party, U.S. voters are, shockingly, repulsed by the Republicans. A new poll gives the Grand Old Party a favorable rating of just 23%, down another point from a week ago. Congressional Republicans have a 15% approval rate, also down a percent from last week. But what about socialist-elitist Barack Obama … you know, the black dude who is president? MORE »


POPULARITY CONTESTS

President Obama Still Quite Popular

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

... and handsome.We have had a new president for 100 whole days, and even though Teabaggers warn of creeping socialism, Barack Obama has somehow hypnotized 64 percent of people into thinking he is doing a good job. Republicans hate his guts, of course, but apparently there aren’t many of them left. [AP]


2010'S MOST ANTICIPATED ELECTION

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
  • SWEET SWEET BUNNING POLL PORN: Maybe this is why baseball player Jim Bunning started cursing at Jesus that time a reporter asked him about internal poll results: “Political Wire got an advance look at a new Public Policy Polling survey in Kentucky that shows Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) with a 28% favorable rating as he attempts to run for a third term. Bunning loses head-to-head match ups with all four Democrats considering a run against him.” [Political Wire]

RACISM

Monday, April 6th, 2009

DAVID PATERSON IS FINISHED: New York Gov. David Paterson, whose reign started about a year ago in that very auspicious first week when he admitted to cheating on his wife and doing coke all the time, is trailing New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo 61-18 (!) in a theoretical gubernatorial primary poll. In a theoretical general election matchup against RUDY TERRIBLE GIULIANI he is losing 53-32. [Quinnipiac]


ALCOHOL IS NOT A DRUG IN THE BAD SENSE OF 'DRUG'

Welfare Recipients Should Say No To Drugs, Yes To Cheap American Beer

Friday, March 27th, 2009

Dook dook dookSo this news channel embedded deep in Bitters country — West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky — runs the occasional poll asking such probing questions as “Do you plan to buy mulch from the city of Charleston?” Here is a new favorite. [WSAZ Polls]


ZERO-SUM POLLING

Economy Problem Magically Solves Terrorism Problem!

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

They will make you forget all about the terrorists!Just a few short years ago, Americans huddled in their underground bunkers worrying that Saddam Hussein was coming to bomb them, personally. Now Americans huddle in their underground bunkers worrying that they’re going to have to tap into their emergency supplies of Hobo Beans — but at least they’re not afraid of the terrorists anymore! MORE »