Yes: more Americans would prefer to have Satanic pharmaceutical/insurance corporations — entities that exist solely to profit from the nation’s poor health, ones that would choose to see eventual government debt default & apocalypse over the creation of a public, non-discriminatory health plan to cover actual sick people — as one of the two major American political parties debating health care reform, instead of the Republicans. (Not that the Democrats in Congress fare much better, and they shouldn’t!) MORE »

Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana. MORE »

Virginia sure is a hot ticket today! Ha ha, Terry McAuliffe’s a nut. Let’s check out a few more photos our lovely Virginia operatives sent in of the most important local Democratic gubernatorial primary since Doug Duncan went insane and dropped out against Martin O’Malley in Maryland in 2006!!!!! MORE »

And the sun is most likely to come out during the day, and dogs are most likely to eat dog food, maybe. [Gallup]

This Gallup poll was conducted Tuesday, the day of Sonia Sotomayor’s announcement, so the Average American should have had plenty of time to comb through and analyze Sotomayor’s legal opinions before discriminating between “good” and “only fair.” [Gallup]

Well here’s some good news for Republicans: they’ve finally rid the party of all non-Real Americans! ES UN ROAD TO RECOVERY? And besides, just look at how liberal this liberal poll is. Aside from “Nonwhite” — wtf, like Martians or something?? — it doesn’t even show the trend with Hispanic Mexicans! Surely the GOP has made huge gains in this demographic, hmm? [Balloon Juice]

Sometimes you wonder if pollsters ask themselves “Is this an insulting thing to ask people?” before dialing up the opinionated American electorate. But no, not insulting, just revealing: “Given a choice of three options, just 24% of voters can correctly identify the cap-and-trade proposal as something that deals with environmental issues. A slightly higher number (29%) believe the proposal has something to do with regulating Wall Street while 17% think the term applies to health care reform. A plurality (30%) have no idea.” Hmm, looks to us like a majority (76%) “have no idea.” The other 24% are just queers. [Rasmussen via Yglesias]

As the GOP accelerates its transition to America’s own “National Front” fringe-nut-racist party, U.S. voters are, shockingly, repulsed by the Republicans. A new poll gives the Grand Old Party a favorable rating of just 23%, down another point from a week ago. Congressional Republicans have a 15% approval rate, also down a percent from last week. But what about socialist-elitist Barack Obama … you know, the black dude who is president? MORE »

We have had a new president for 100 whole days, and even though Teabaggers warn of creeping socialism, Barack Obama has somehow hypnotized 64 percent of people into thinking he is doing a good job. Republicans hate his guts, of course, but apparently there aren’t many of them left. [AP]

• SWEET SWEET BUNNING POLL PORN: Maybe this is why baseball player Jim Bunning started cursing at Jesus that time a reporter asked him about internal poll results: “Political Wire got an advance look at a new Public Policy Polling survey in Kentucky that shows Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) with a 28% favorable rating as he attempts to run for a third term. Bunning loses head-to-head match ups with all four Democrats considering a run against him.” [Political Wire]

DAVID PATERSON IS FINISHED: New York Gov. David Paterson, whose reign started about a year ago in that very auspicious first week when he admitted to cheating on his wife and doing coke all the time, is trailing New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo 61-18 (!) in a theoretical gubernatorial primary poll. In a theoretical general election matchup against RUDY TERRIBLE GIULIANI he is losing 53-32. [Quinnipiac]