Why Isn’t John McCain One Million Points Ahead In Every Poll?
Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
Oooh, it’s TROUBLING NEWS on the McCain front. Despite every conceivable advantage in news coverage this week, he has steadfastly refused to budge from his squatting position at the bottom of the polls. Why hasn’t John McCain capitalized on the many blessings showered on him by the press, and Fate? And what does this say about his ability to lead? MORE »
Oooh, it’s TROUBLING NEWS on the McCain front. Despite every conceivable advantage in news coverage this week, he has steadfastly refused to budge from his squatting position at the bottom of the polls. Why hasn’t John McCain capitalized on the many blessings showered on him by the press, and Fate? And what does this say about his ability to lead? MORE »









Oh hey look it’s another tracking poll! The latest Rasmussen dealy shows that John McCain is tied with Barack Obama at 44%, but if you include “leaners,” the geezer beats the pants off the charismatic upstart with a whopping 47% to Obama’s crappy old 46%. JOHN MCCAIN IS PRESIDENT OF LEANERS!
You know those folks who eat a lot of casseroles and know the first and last names of every contestant on America’s Next Top Model since “Cycle 1,” but do not know how many fingers John McCain has? (Answer: Eleven.) These people are so grossly underinformed that politicians lurve them, and every four years this coveted voting bloc called “Independents” determines who will be our next president. This year, like every year, they do not like their options: or they would not like their options if they knew what they were, which they do not.
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Bob Barr
Hey Canada, what’s up? Oh, you like that Barack Obama? Yeah, it figures, being as you’re kind of quasi-Europeans. Except for Alberta, we guess. And probably the “Northwest Territories,” where the
Oh hey look it’s another poll, from the Numbers People! Exciting new statistics show that Barry Obama is ahead of John McCain in the Muslim state of Michigan, plus Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Colorado. This was a poll among likely voters, which your boyfriend Chuck Todd cautions may not be the best measure in a year when turnout is expected to be OFF THE CHAIN Y’ALL. (Chuck prefers registered voters to likely ones, because he is an Elitist.) The point is, John McCain will win in a landslide when a Terrorist Meteor hits Ohio’s beloved
Proving that Obama’s 15-point lead in last week’s Newsweek
Huzzah, here are some new fake polling results from Quinnipiac today: Obama 47, McCain 43 in Florida; Obama 48, McCain 42 in Ohio; Obama 52, McCain 40 in Pennsylvania. Now Obama will be president for life and McCain will be banished to Mongolia to start a new life as “Maverick of the Yaks.” [
Here is a very interesting poll from your Gallup organization, which shows Undecided finally pulling away form Neither/Other in the polls. However, Candidate “Total not Obama or McCain” is beating both their hindquarters — suggesting that Ron Paul really is secretly pulling the levers of Democracy and positioning himself for an eleventh-hour November blowout. [
THIS JUST IN, HOT FROM THE E-MAIL PROGRAM: Ron Paul has something to say tonight hooray. You can watch it at
He may be the
This general election prediction map comes from the famous angry blogger Kos. It pits Unelectable Obama vs. Maverick McCain and allocates states according to the current