polls
Oh, so the war in Afghanistan is supposed to end soon-ish, like next year, maybe? Sure, we’ve done a pretty good job leaving that country on the brink of yet another horrifying civil war, NEXT. It is now Iran’s turn to be liberationed! Forty-nine percent of Americans, which for you statistically-minded folk means “probably at [...]
Ha ha, your editor promised herself to ignore whatever poop that jaundiced lizard Donald Trump decided to squeeze out of his mouth today (Allah love Kaia, she has braved the cesspool). We would just like to share this bit of heartening mid-January poll fun from the Pew Research Center that Political Wire noted on the [...]
What better occasion than the nation’s first caucus/primary thing of 2012 to remember that Americans are mouth-breathing idiots. The new Vanity Fair/CBS survey of U.S. dumbness has been released, and it proves that two-thirds of this nation’s adults have no idea that the population of the USA is approximately 300 million people. You didn’t even [...]
Ha ha, here is a fun new study that proves everybody would basically like to trade the 2012 presidential election for, say, a massive asteroid strike: Gallup asked voters how jazzed they were for the Obama-Not Romney campaign year, and people basically started weeping and vomiting, simultaneously, into their phones. “Given a choice, 70% of [...]
The media seems to be reporting again that pissy jaundiced toddler Donald Trump has “announced” he is still considering a presidential bid as an independent, a thing he has been doing every couple of weeks ever since he dropped out of the Republican race in order to keep his awful teevee show. Why have the [...]
As America prepares to give Newt Gingrich his turn at waterboarding its collective unconscious with streams of incessant nonsense the media will for some reason pretend to pay attention to for a couple weeks, men’s fashion zine GQ brings us this late-breaking SCOOP about nearly-forgotten idiot Herman Cain’s political platform on, uh, pizza toppings: “A [...]
America’s elected officials range from rat-eyed sheriff bullies who mercilessly persecute the various racial minorities to the president, who constantly murders people all over the world and shovels billions of dollars to Wall Street. And yet, a new survey proves that 62% of Americans “say their past would preclude them from running for public office.” [...]
Americans are so bored with the assortment of bargain bin feces-flingers running for the GOP nomination that — several thousand blathering news cycles and millions of dollars in campaign spending later – only 28% of people can even identify the existence of best-known Republican candidate-clown Rick Perry, because he is terrible and nobody cares about his [...]
It’s time for the greatest scientific barometer of America’s intellect, the Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of dingbat potpourri questions thrown at a representative sample of Americans who haven’t had their phone lines turned off by Verizon yet. What did our pollsters ask this time? To be weird, instead of asking a series of completely random [...]
A shocking new Gallup poll proves that 81% of Americans — an all-time record — are against the American Government, while 82% are against Congress specifically. And 49% of Americans believe the U.S. Government is “an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens.” But to read POLITICO, you’d think we’re just in [...]
