Tag: polls

World’s Hottest California Attorney Generals Face Off In Wonkette Sexxxiness Contest

Who would you most like to take a long walk on the beach with?

Early Voters (Of The Mexican Type) May Have Already Saved America From Spray-Tan Hitler!

Dear sane people: RELAX. And VOTE. Are you relaxing, and also voting? Do that right now!

Barack Obama Tells Donald Trump To Stop Being Such A Pussy About The Election

President Obama is pretty sure Donald Trump doesn't have what it takes to live in the White House.
He gets cranky when he has the sniffles

Loser Donald Trump Can’t Stop Crying Over What A Big Loser He Is

Donald Trump blames everybody but himself for how he's losing like such a sad, weak loser right now.

Trump Idiots: Really, Is ‘Grabbing Them By The Pussy’ Even *Wrong*?

Sen. Jeff Sessions can't figure out if it's sexual assault, and Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway is all PFFFFFT EVERYBODY DOES IT.

Fox News’s Jesse Watters Can’t Stop LOLing Over How Weird Chinese People Are

Is this the most racist thing Jesse Watters has ever done? MAYBE!
You can always count on some dope to misspell exactly what you need

Donald Trump Very Angry Google’s Hiding All The Bad News About Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump knows the truth about Google: It's out to get him, just like everyone else.

Guy Who Taught GOP To Call Democrats ‘Sick Corrupt Liberal Traitors’ Very :( About Mean Election

Frank Luntz has had it with all this electoral 'poison.'
Boob Says 'Titties'

Republicans Really Worried Their Guy Might Become President

Some Republican consultants are all kinds of worried about the Trumpenstein's Monster their party has unleashed. Poor things.

Hillary Clinton Did A Press Conference, Which Is Impossible Because She Doesn’t Do Those

Your next president, Hillary Clinton, apparently has been hearing the weeping and gnashing of teeth coming from the national media about how BOO HOO she never talks to them and BOO HOO the national press corps needs to be...

Trump Idiot Katrina Pierson So Mad Libtard Dallas Morning News Endorsed First Dem In 75 Years

Have you read the Dallas Morning News's endorsement of Hillary? It is excellent!
This election is going better than 2008, we think.

LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Mississippi, Yes We Said MISSISSIPPI

Mississippi could become a 'battleground state' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Public Policy Polling Can’t Stop LOLing At Dumbass Trump Supporters (And Also Dumbass Jill Stein!)

A fake PPP poll shows Trump beating Hillary in Florida by a margin of 74-9. Obviously the first REAL UNSKEWED POLL of the election!

LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Missouri

The latest in our series on all the 57 states Hillary will probably win in the US American election.
In this alternate universe, the Sunday NYT has a comics section

Wonkagenda: Thursday, August 18, 2016

You get in here and and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!