Tag: polling

As snarly as they come

Snarling Congresscreep Darrell Issa Running Behind Democrat In New Poll. Cry, Darrell Issa, Cry!

Could one of Congress's biggest jerks be in danger? Here's hoping so!
Head shots: They let you know who's running, but don't make for very funny jokes. Darn.

Senate Sunday: North Carolina Might Turn Blue, Without Even Holding Its Breath

Who'd have guessed that North Carolina may be a key state in Democrats' hopes of retaking the Senate? We're just as surprised as you!
The fiddle is made of votes.

Could Hillary Clinton Win Georgia? Sure, Why Not, LOL

The third in our ongoing series on all the 57 states Hillary will win in November!

Donald Trump Thinks His Supporters Are Cowards Who Are Too Scared To Tell Pollsters They Love Him. SAD!

The delicate flowers cannot handle the hypothetical judgment of a disembodied voice conducting a phone survey, he says.
Yes America is that dumb

There May Be Enough White Voters To Elect Donald Trump. But Are There Enough Complete Idiots?

It might just be statistically possible for Donald Trump to win the presidency, although such an outcome would obviously give a completely new meaning to the term 'margin of error.'

Despite Drought, Plenty Of Nuts Available In California Primary: Your Senate Sunday

With 34 candidates running for U.S. Senate, California is awash in eccentrics. It's like that without an election, too, isn't it?

West Virginia And Nebraska Have Primaries Tonight, If Those Are Even Real States

Oh hey, and YAWN, but it's another Tuesday where there are a couple of widdle bitty primaries happening and ZZZZZZ we don't even know. But maybe tonight will be super-exciting and we'll totally eat the words we just said...

Donald Trump Suddenly Part Of Arkansas Senate Race, Maybe

Who'd have figured Donald Trump would become a pivotal issue in the Arkansas Senate race?

Ohio Gets Second Chance To Make First Impression In Portman-Strickland Senate Deathmatch

Our Senate roundup this week moves to Ohio ("The Land Of Burning Rivers"), yet another of the states in which Democrats have a fairly good chance of flipping a Senate seat that went Republican in the Great Tea Party...

Pennsylvania Democrats Have Hot 3-Way In Race To Take On Pat Toomey (R-Yawn)

a href="http://wonkette.com/600294/maryland-has-two-awesome-democrats-running-for-senate-can-we-have-both"Welcome back to our newish feature, our weekly countdown of U.S. Senate races, yes, even the ones where there's no real contest. But not this week! Last time, we looked at Maryland's primary between two ridiculously well-qualified Democrats;...
We hear some Republicans are running, too

Maryland Has Two Awesome Democrats Running For Senate. Can We Have Both?

This week, our Senate preview will be a little different from the usual format: We're off to Maryland, where the two parties' candidates haven't yet been chosen. Barbara Mikulski, who served in the Senate for five terms, announced last...

Guess Which Big Tough Guy Americans Want To Be Their New Daddy

Now that we are having Serious Conversations about terrorism, for the first time ever again, the real question terrified American-USers are asking is, "Who can we trust to kick the most terrorist behinds, for America?" And which dude's balls are...
Now that's presidential.

Republicans Wish Obama Did Turkey Murder As Good As Sarah Palin

If you're like most Republicans, you're not even HAVING Thanksgiving this year, because you're still upset over how "President" Obama abused his executive powers last year, by pardoning TWO turkeys instead of just one, can you say OUT OF...
Warrior president.

Rick Santorum Beated Up Whoopi Goldberg And ISIS, Will Be Toughest President

Rick Santorum, whose polling throughout the primary season hasn't risen higher than Rick Santorum's dick when he discovers sexts from his wife's hot abortion doctor ex-boyfriend, has sent out a fundraising email. No, we do not know how the Washington...
His legacy shredded.

Bobby Jindal Never Wanted To Be In Your Stupid Kids’ Table Debate, May Just Stay Home

Bobby Jindal, in his 3,574th last-ditch bid for attention, briefly threatened to walk away from Wednesday's second-tier who-cares smelly losers debate on CNBC, which many suspect may not even be a real cable network. Despite his campaign having no...
Thanks, Bern. I'll Snapchat you later

Science Fact: Everyone In America Sick And Tired Of Hillary’s Damn Benghazi Emails

Just in time for Hillary Clinton's center-stage appearance at BenghaziPalooza today, the Monmouth University Poll released a survey indicating that Bernie Sanders was completely right at the first Democratic primary debate: "The American people are sick and tired of...