Muppets Debate Clinton vs. Obama Thursday, May 8th, 2008
Hillary Clinton Caught In Millionth Bosnian Lie!
Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
Ha ha, it turns out that Hillary Clinton even lies with her lying about her harrowing overseas adventures. First she says she once ran screaming through the streets of Tuzla smeared with the blood of Bosnian snipers as she singlehandedly brought peace to Northern Ireland; then she says she was the first president’s wife to visit a war zone since Eleanor Roosevelt. Wrong again, Pantsuit! That honor goes to Pat Nixon, who visited Vietnam with Sinbad way back in 1969. MORE »
Ha ha, it turns out that Hillary Clinton even lies with her lying about her harrowing overseas adventures. First she says she once ran screaming through the streets of Tuzla smeared with the blood of Bosnian snipers as she singlehandedly brought peace to Northern Ireland; then she says she was the first president’s wife to visit a war zone since Eleanor Roosevelt. Wrong again, Pantsuit! That honor goes to Pat Nixon, who visited Vietnam with Sinbad way back in 1969. MORE »
Obama Makes His Secret Service Guys Poop Across The Street
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
When most people hear “Barack Obama’s neighbor,” they probably think of slumlord Tony Rezko, whose wife sold the Obamas a patch of dirt once. But it turns out that the Obamas’ Chicago home sits across the street from a synagogue where the presidential candidate’s Secret Service detail occasionally uses the head! Hear what the kindly rabbi neighbor has to say about Our Barry after the jump. MORE »
When most people hear “Barack Obama’s neighbor,” they probably think of slumlord Tony Rezko, whose wife sold the Obamas a patch of dirt once. But it turns out that the Obamas’ Chicago home sits across the street from a synagogue where the presidential candidate’s Secret Service detail occasionally uses the head! Hear what the kindly rabbi neighbor has to say about Our Barry after the jump. MORE »
Get Ready For Vice President Barack Obama!
Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
Take heart, sad Barry fans: even though your guy lost everything except Vermont last night, he will be President someday–after groundbreaking President Hillary Clinton expires of old age. This morning Senator Clinton hinted that she might add Barack Obama to the ticket if the people of Ohio allowed it. MORE »
Take heart, sad Barry fans: even though your guy lost everything except Vermont last night, he will be President someday–after groundbreaking President Hillary Clinton expires of old age. This morning Senator Clinton hinted that she might add Barack Obama to the ticket if the people of Ohio allowed it. MORE »
Ted Stevens Will Be Permanent President Of Alaska
Friday, February 22nd, 2008
Alaska Senator Ted Stevens is as ancient and snowy white as the craggy glaciers his people farm in the Land of the Midnight Sun. And despite the fact that he is 1,000 years old and knows nothing about the Internet and is under investigation for graft, he has boldly decided to run for re-election, again. MORE »
Alaska Senator Ted Stevens is as ancient and snowy white as the craggy glaciers his people farm in the Land of the Midnight Sun. And despite the fact that he is 1,000 years old and knows nothing about the Internet and is under investigation for graft, he has boldly decided to run for re-election, again. MORE »
Grandmotherly Senator Mortifies Kentucky Doctors
Monday, February 4th, 2008
Senator Mitch McConnell is ruining the reputations of three University of Louisville physicians by providing video evidence that they said nice things about him, once. The victims of McConnell’s smear campaign were taped saying things like “I think Senator McConnell is very interested in the health and welfare of the people in the state of Kentucky.” And, for a few brief weeks in December and January, McConnell was showing this garbage on the teevee. MORE »
Senator Mitch McConnell is ruining the reputations of three University of Louisville physicians by providing video evidence that they said nice things about him, once. The victims of McConnell’s smear campaign were taped saying things like “I think Senator McConnell is very interested in the health and welfare of the people in the state of Kentucky.” And, for a few brief weeks in December and January, McConnell was showing this garbage on the teevee. MORE »
Thursday, January 31st, 2008
*MAKE YOUR WONKETTE FEEL PRETTY:* Ruh roh, voting for the 2008 Weblog Awards, commonly called the “Bloggies,” ends tonight at 10 p.m. EST. Your favorite Wonkette, which Google News categorizes as satire, earned a nomination for Best Weblog About Politics. If this is confusing to our readers, reconsider the wording of “About Politics,” and in some rare foreign cults we might be considered the “Best” at this. Go vote hooray! [2008 Bloggies]
*MAKE YOUR WONKETTE FEEL PRETTY:* Ruh roh, voting for the 2008 Weblog Awards, commonly called the “Bloggies,” ends tonight at 10 p.m. EST. Your favorite Wonkette, which Google News categorizes as satire, earned a nomination for Best Weblog About Politics. If this is confusing to our readers, reconsider the wording of “About Politics,” and in some rare foreign cults we might be considered the “Best” at this. Go vote hooray! [2008 Bloggies]