Tag: policy

Hillary Clinton’s Mental Health Policy Announcement Lost In Coverage Of Anthony Weiner’s Dick

Hillary Clinton released a detailed proposal to improve mental health care Monday, and it's largely gone unnoticed. That's just plain crazy.
See, 'cuz the cow is straddl-- Never mind.

Centrist ‘Democrats’ Unveil Bold ‘Plan’ To Stop That Commie Elizabeth Warren

Since its founding in 1997, the New Democrat Coalition (NDC) has been a safe space for liberals who consider themselves "conservative-curious." For 18 years, these still-finding-themselves Dems remained silent about their true desires. But this week, they finally came out and...

Washington Post: Work Till You Are Dead Or Iran Will Kill You Anyway

Listen you guys. We know that you were looking forward to retiring at 67, but we just can't have that because if we do, Iran will get a nuclear weapon and blow us up. This is the ACTUAL ARGUMENT...

House Republicans Aching To Destroy Another Useful Thing, The ACS

The House passed an amendment Wednesday night to get rid of the American Community Survey entirely, on Privacy Grounds. Oh, god, you can hear them through your windows probably, fapping about their privacy. The ACS is a mandatory survey...

Obama To Call For Budget Freeze, End To Earmarks In Boring Speech

What will be overshadowed by the soaring rhetoric in tonight's State of the Union speech? Nothing too interesting. Obama will be calling for a freeze on spending for five years and a ban on earmarks. In other words, the...

BUSTED: Jon Stewart Caught Talking With Tim Geithner About ‘Policy’

After carefully inspecting "the Treasury Secretary's calendar," Bloomberg News has revealed that Tim Geithner had a top-secret meeting with teevee comic Jon Stewart. What could this mean, besides "Tim Geithner probably doesn't put 'secret' meetings on his calendar"? Brace...

Robert Gibbs To Order Mandatory Government Drug Testing For Libruls Who Criticize White House

The Obama administration is sick of libruls such as Rachel Maddow who dare CRITICIZE them, the librul political party's presidential administration, when they fail to do important librul things. "I hear these people saying he's like George Bush. Those...

Healthcare Themes To Become Loftier, Hopier

Here is your daily White House Healthcare Messaging Update! Having failed at the whole "talk to insured voters about what's in it for them" approach, various strategists and advisors are now telling the Obama administration to talk about "morals"...

Dining With a Napoleon Complex

For whatever reason, the phenomenon of eating multiple small plate dishes (also know as tapas) as a meal has taken over dining in the District. There are some food trends that we moderately enjoy: Cupcakes, we can deal with...

Michelle Obama Just Hillary Clinton Minus Pantsuit

Ohhhh the nerve. The new First Lady, having spent two years giving lengthy policy speeches on the campaign trail in support of her husband, is apparently now giving lengthy policy speeches again. This is highly inappropriate behavior for a...

Every Newspaper On Earth Says John McCain Is An Idiot

Oh good God what is going on today? Pretty much every publication in the country has a big article about how John McCain -- the guy who just attacked Barack Obama for being all style and no substance...

Bureaucratic Smackdown!