• VIRGINIA COPS, THEY AIN’T TOO SMART: “Five Virginia Department of Corrections officers have been charged with animal cruelty involving the fondling of a K-9 dog and videotaping the two incidents … ‘Essentially, he was touching the dog’s penis with his hand,’ Beasley said. ‘The others were there filming it. That’s actually how we learned of it — there’s a video.’” Oh fine, one more funny sentence: “‘I would characterize it as hazing,’ he said, claiming that Thompson was told by the others, ‘If you masturbate your K-9 unit, you’ll have greater control over it.’” [Culpeper Star-Exponent, the best name in newspaper history]

United States Senator Ben Cardin of Maryland has a nephew in politics! You knew this. But did you know that said nephew, state delegate Jon Cardin, is a tacky dingbat who should probably resign after diverting scarce police resources from MURDER INVESTIGATIONS to his dumb boat for the purpose of scaring his girlfriend into marrying him? MORE »

President Obama basically alienated every law enforcement official in the country when he called that Cambridge cop an ignoramus during his health care phone-a-thon on Wednesday. And now the DC chapter of the National Fraternal Order of Police has publicly chastised the President! MORE »

The very serene and affable Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. was arrested Thursday after a lady called the cops in the middle of the day, reporting that she saw a man apparently trying to break into a nearby house. MORE »

OFFICERS CLEARED IN SEAN BELL CASE: Three police detectives found not guilty. “They got away with murder,” says one member of the crowd outside the Queens Criminal Court Building. [NYT]

It’s safe to say New Orleans has some housing problems these days, as in, people need housing and there isn’t any. The city planned on demolishing 4,500 public housing units today to help that situation and, in response, opponents planned a large protest outside of City Hall. At some point the police must have gotten a little uneasy because they shut the City Hall gates. The protesters broke through and so, naturally, the police beat the living shit out of them. More, plus some video, after the jump. MORE »

The Ministry of Interior in Iraq has ordered that all the policewomen in Iraq turn in their weapons for redistribution to men or face a withdrawal of their pay. Iraqi police officers, you’ll no doubt recall, are subject to intimidation, harassment, kidnapping and execution regardless of their gender. The women were recruited by the U.S. because of cultural mores that prohibit male officers from searching female suspects and to assist in increasing the reporting of violence against women. All officers are allowed to take their weapons home because of the danger in being a police officer in Iraq except, now, the female officers won’t be able to have any because they’re girls. But, obviously, the male officers will just protect them from violence, the way they already protect all the other women in the country so well. [LA Times]

Some savvy flatfoots in Prince George’s County, Maryland got all excited over the weekend for a drug raid, because who wouldn’t!? In their glee, however, they overlooked the fine point of “correct addresses” and raided the house two doors down from the suspect. Instead of apologizing to the homeowners for the mistake, however, they shot and killed their dog. MORE »

Roll Call has confirmed through anonymous sources that U.S. Capitol Police Officer Karen Emory has been suspended from duty, although it’s unclear whether the measure is related to recent bathroom fires in congressional office buildings. A Capitol Police spokeswoman declined comment on the issue, saying “We don’t discuss personnel matters.” Emory was the reporting officer on at least one of the fires, so clearly she… umm… started all of them and wants to burn down America, office bathroom by office bathroom. [Roll Call]

A U.S. Capitol Police officer investigating the recent wave of Hill fires has been transferred for poor work performance, according to a source. The source claims that the relieved investigator was “on at least one of the fires… a half hour late to the scene.” At his new location, presumably, he will always be on time when senators are burning. [Fox News]

When Bush was in Canada selling America to Mexico earlier this week, Canadian labor unions protested the secret negotiations between the three countries’ leaders. And whenever there’s a big political protest, there are cops in disguise — usually as “anarchists” — trying to start shit so that the uniformed cops can smash skulls and shoot their water cannons and rubber bullets and tear-gas cannisters at the real protesters who were just peacefully protesting. What was interesting about this week’s agents provocateurs is that they got caught on video and the video was immediately seen by hundreds of thousands of people all around the world and for possibly the first time ever, a police department has been shamed into admitting that it plants disguised cops in protest crowds to stir up shit. MORE »