Tag Archives: police

  sure fine whatever

Texas Gun Fanatics Only Did A Few Crimes, What’s The Big Deal?

More guns just means more freedom
We are simple, trusting folk, so when people tell us they want to liberalize gun laws out of fealty to the Constitution and a love of personal freedom, we totally buy it. So thoroughly guileless are we that we don’t even question their motives when a number of them have criminal records that put them afoul of the laws they’re trying to repeal, as is the case in Texas. So what, a petty criminal can’t love freedom too? Read more on Texas Gun Fanatics Only Did A Few Crimes, What’s The Big Deal?…
 

How Dumb Is My State? (Very Dumb): Your Florida Roundup

rick scott
Florida? Floriduh, am I right? (I am right.) Greeting, Wonketeers, from the Sunshine State, aka everyone’s favorite phallus, aka America’s after-school special, home to Viagra-fueled, syphilitic octogenarians and Midwest transplants and New York Jews and Cuban ex-pats and megachurches and Key West buttsexxxers and hanging chads and gun-toting rednecks and snowbirds and face-eating zombie men and maybe-rapey sportsball stars and failing schools and theme parks and charlatans and beaches and George-motherfucking-Zimmerman, all governed by a twice-elected con artist who looks like this guy and wants to be this guy. Read more on How Dumb Is My State? (Very Dumb): Your Florida Roundup…
  And Put Back That Sandwich They 'Borrowed'

AG Eric Holder Tells Cops They Can’t Steal Your Stuff Anymore

Portrait of a man looking forward to a nice university president job
Attorney General Eric Holder is putting the kibosh on the get-rich-quick scheme used by local and state police to take your stuff for fun and profit just because they wanna. (Also, they get rich! Quick!) Read more on AG Eric Holder Tells Cops They Can’t Steal Your Stuff Anymore…
  We Just Like Saying 'Quinnipiac'

NYPD Making Friends And Influencing People, Except The Opposite Of That

Not actual NYPD officers
New York cops may want to rethink whether they were making friends and influencing people when they turned their backs on Mayor Bill de Blasio at funerals of two murdered NYPD officers. A new Quinnipiac University poll of New York City voters found that on the whole, people disapproved of the act by a margin of 69-27 percent. Only one demographic category approved, and just barely: Republicans were cool with it, 51-47 percent. Even cop-friendly Staten Island residents disapproved, although by the narrowest margin of any borough, with 50 percent disapproving and 47 percent approving. Read more on NYPD Making Friends And Influencing People, Except The Opposite Of That…
  Meet The Neighbors

Boston Cop Calls Guy ‘N-Word,’ Beats Uber Driver, Steals His Car. Because ‘Boston’

Image via WBZ-TV video Early Sunday morning, a Boston police officer used an everyday occurrence, an Uber ride home in the wee hours, to help his department advance its community relations with a groundbreaking new strategy: meet with members of racial minorities, then insult and beat them. Read more on Boston Cop Calls Guy ‘N-Word,’ Beats Uber Driver, Steals His Car. Because ‘Boston’…
  Mad Libs are back

Being A Cop Is Just Like Being Black Or A Woman, Say Sad Oppressed Cops

Rosa Parks had it rough, but you know who it was worse for? Cops. Right, the ones with the guns.
Remember how we all laughed at pro-cop counter-protesters carrying “blue lives matter” signs and cops tweeting things like “cop lives matter,” and we figured it was so absurd, the people saying it had to mean it to be tongue in cheek? Evidently, the Fraternal Order of Police, a 300,000-member union, is demanding that violence against police officers be treated as a hate crime. They’ve drafted up a letter and have sent it to President Obama and are 100 percent serious about it:  Read more on Being A Cop Is Just Like Being Black Or A Woman, Say Sad Oppressed Cops…
  Behind Blue Whines

Pittsburgh Police Chief Says No To Racism. Cops As Fine With This As You’d Expect

Wow, that's so controversial!
Yet another leader of a large police department is learning that you’d better not ever suggest that racism is a thing that exists, or you will be accused of Disloyalty to the Thin-Skinned Blue Line. In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Police Chief Cameron Mclay is getting a lesson in how post-racial America works: Read more on Pittsburgh Police Chief Says No To Racism. Cops As Fine With This As You’d Expect…
  Quiet Dignity Redux

NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops’ Solemn, Funereal Disrespect

The quiet dignity of a political stunt
Photo by Aymann Ismail, Animal New York Hundreds of NYPD police officers came together Sunday for the noble purpose of very publicly giving the finger to Mayor Bill de Blasio again, and we suppose they were also there for the funeral of murdered officer Wenjian Liu, too. As they had done last week at the funeral of Liu’s partner Rafael Ramos, large numbers of police standing outside the funeral hall turned their backs to video monitors as de Blasio began his eulogy. Police have decided that they hates the nasty de Blasio, hates him, because he personally ordered the deaths of Ramos and Liu by telling his son, who is black, to be very, very careful around police. Read more on NYPD Cop Peeved At Reporter Disrespectfully Covering Cops’ Solemn, Funereal Disrespect…
  Quiet Dignity

NYPD Cops Respect Fallen Officer Through Classy Political Stunt At Funeral

Hard to tell who or what is being faced here, but it is 'away,' we hear
Photo by Viorel Florescu, New York Daily News Just to prove how much they objected to Mayor Bill de Blasio’s inciting the murder of two policemen last week, hundreds (or possibly thousands) of NYPD officers attending a memorial service for one of the officers turned their backs on a video screen carrying de Blasio’s remarks during the funeral. It was a fitting display of contempt for a man who had dared to stir up hatred of police by telling his son that he needed to be careful around police, since they don’t always show love and respect for young black men, which is obviously just not true. De Blasio also apparently encouraged the murders by allowing widespread protests in New York after the grand jury decision in the killing of Eric Garner, because allowing criticism of police is precisely the same as calling for them to be murdered. Read more on NYPD Cops Respect Fallen Officer Through Classy Political Stunt At Funeral…
  not all cops

Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big

That's some fine police work, Lou.
In 2009, celebrated Santa Ana Police Detective Andy Alvarez was tasked to investigate a bloody attempted murder case, in which a man in a Jeep pulled up to three teenagers and opened fire on them. Alvarez had two leads. The first was that the shooter reportedly shouted “Delhi,” the name of a Santa Ana street gang, before opening fire. The second was that two of the victims positively identified another kid in the Jeep as Francisco Vega, a former classmate with whom they’d previously had trouble. The OC Weekly reports: Read more on Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big…
  Today In Why Bill Kristol Is A Idiot

Bill Kristol Has Learned The Real Lesson Of Ferguson

Someone help him, please
Ever since Bill Kristol got himself a Twitter account, we’ve been enjoying his condensed doses of S-M-R-T. Like that time he admitted he’s kind of stupid, or his wish that Richard Nixon would come back and save us. But now, having waded a bit into the technological ocean, Bill Kristol is ready to suggest some bold new initiatives to use tech — like maybe to fight crime! Read more on Bill Kristol Has Learned The Real Lesson Of Ferguson…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving

Not related to the story but CUTE.
With the annual Harvest Feast nearly upon us, when we give thanks for all our blessings, especially the Second Amendment, which makes all other blessings possible, let’s take a quick look at how America’s Responsible Gun Owners are keeping themselves safe from crime and preventing tyranny. Read more on A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving…
 

Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War

DC stands with Ferguson
A Missouri-based affiliate of the Ku Klux Klan is circulating a clumsily designed flier vowing to “use lethal force as provided under Missouri Law to defend ourselves” from “terrorists masquerading as ‘peaceful protestors,'” reports Vice News. Here’s the “document”: Read more on Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War…
  acceptable losses

Cops Won’t Be Charged For Grenading Baby’s Face Off Because Stuff Happens, You Know?

A bit of disfiguring trauma is the price of a free society
Back in May, we mentioned the Georgia case where cops serving a “no knock” warrant broke into a house and threw a stun grenade into the front room — and into a playpen where a 19-month-old baby was sleeping. The grenade severely burned the baby, detaching his nose from his face and leaving his mouth disfigured. The incident report from the Habersham Sheriff’s Office said that the SWAT team had been told to expect a whole bunch of weapons and drugs and armed resistance; instead, they found no guns or drugs in the home, just a family that had recently moved from Wisconsin and was all living in one room of a relative’s house. The suspect named in the warrant, Wanis Thonetheva, didn’t even live at the house the cops burst into; he was a nephew of the residents and “was arrested later that day without incident and charged only with possession of methamphetamine.” Read more on Cops Won’t Be Charged For Grenading Baby’s Face Off Because Stuff Happens, You Know?…
  clipbait

John Oliver: Cops Legally Stealing All Your Cash And Cars Because ‘Civil Forfeiture’ (Video)

It's kind of like pennies from heaven
John Oliver takes on one of the more boring but insidious scandals in Our Republic today: the phenomenon of civil asset forfeiture. That’s when police seize cash, vehicles, or any other property they believe was used in a crime, regardless of whether the stuff’s owner is found guilty of a crime or not. Read more on John Oliver: Cops Legally Stealing All Your Cash And Cars Because ‘Civil Forfeiture’ (Video)…
  sorry seems to be the hardest word

Ferguson Police Chief Real Sorry Or Something, So That’s All Over Now

Mistakes were made
Attention, America: All of the fuss over the shooting of Michael Brown and the Keystone Stormtroopers police response is now taken care of, because Ferguson Police Chief Thomas Jackson is real sorry that he and his police department were a bunch of useless (but murdery!) jerks, and has issued a video apology to Brown’s parents and Ferguson’s black community, at least the well-behaved segment of it. Let’s watch the video and see if there’s anything Jackson leaves out! Read more on Ferguson Police Chief Real Sorry Or Something, So That’s All Over Now…
  where the sunshine don't shine

Ferguson Police Chief Hallucinated Journalists Who Wanted Cigarillo Caper Tape

Ever have one of those weeks at work? Something goes wrong over the weekend when you weren’t even there, the guy at the top blames you for it, and suddenly they’re giving your job to some jerk you’ve never heard of. By the time you get to Friday, you’re so frazzled that you hallucinate a stampede of ravenous journalists demanding that you turn over something they don’t know you have. Read more on Ferguson Police Chief Hallucinated Journalists Who Wanted Cigarillo Caper Tape…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Labor Day Loonies Edition

Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the poor quality of the .gifs on this mommyblog!
Happy Labor Day, workers of the world! While you and your grillables marinate in anticipation of the big holiday Bar-B-Q/bonfire, we bring you these offerings from the comments queue. Just be careful not to leave them out too long — like mayonnaise, they go bad in the sun. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Labor Day Loonies Edition…
  Stop Resisting! Stop Resisting!

New Crime To Worry About: Sitting While Black

Even the three-fingered cops of the future are terrifying
In yet another completely isolated incident that has nothing to do with race, another black man has released a video of police going to town on him for being an uncooperative ne’er do well. In this case, the unruly offender is Christopher Lollie of St. Paul, Minnesota, who on Jan. 31 of this year was waiting to pick his kids up from daycare when confronted by a cop who wanted to know his name and why he was sitting down on a chair in a skyway in between two buildings. Like a troublemaker, he seemed to think he had the right to not give his name and ID to a police officer without her telling him what he’d done wrong — and then what he’d done wrong was to not comply with her “Papers, please” request, which marked him as a probable criminal threat with dreadlocks. Read more on New Crime To Worry About: Sitting While Black…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Tragedy Strikes Really Good Wine, Evolutionary Misfits, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Too soon, Napa?
At least it’s Friday! (Sorry, that was mean. Let’s try it again.) At least it’s — nah, screw it. It is Monday. We’ll just have to soldier on. Somehow. In case you missed it, there was a semi-decent-sized earthquake in California (or what we natives call “worth maybe looking up from your desk for a second”-sized). Yes, there was some damage to some buildings, and yes, there were some injuries to human people, and that is sort of sad, but here is the REAL tragedy: Read more on Tragedy Strikes Really Good Wine, Evolutionary Misfits, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…