Wonkette

OFFICERS CLEARED IN SEAN BELL CASE: Three police detectives found not guilty. “They got away with murder,” says one member of the crowd outside the Queens Criminal Court Building. [NYT]

It’s safe to say New Orleans has some housing problems these days, as in, people need housing and there isn’t any. The city planned on demolishing 4,500 public housing units today to help that situation and, in response, opponents planned a large protest outside of City Hall. At some point the police must have gotten a little uneasy because they shut the City Hall gates. The protesters broke through and so, naturally, the police beat the living shit out of them. More, plus some video, after the jump. MORE »

The Ministry of Interior in Iraq has ordered that all the policewomen in Iraq turn in their weapons for redistribution to men or face a withdrawal of their pay. Iraqi police officers, you’ll no doubt recall, are subject to intimidation, harassment, kidnapping and execution regardless of their gender. The women were recruited by the U.S. because of cultural mores that prohibit male officers from searching female suspects and to assist in increasing the reporting of violence against women. All officers are allowed to take their weapons home because of the danger in being a police officer in Iraq except, now, the female officers won’t be able to have any because they’re girls. But, obviously, the male officers will just protect them from violence, the way they already protect all the other women in the country so well. [LA Times]

Some savvy flatfoots in Prince George’s County, Maryland got all excited over the weekend for a drug raid, because who wouldn’t!? In their glee, however, they overlooked the fine point of “correct addresses” and raided the house two doors down from the suspect. Instead of apologizing to the homeowners for the mistake, however, they shot and killed their dog. MORE »

Roll Call has confirmed through anonymous sources that U.S. Capitol Police Officer Karen Emory has been suspended from duty, although it’s unclear whether the measure is related to recent bathroom fires in congressional office buildings. A Capitol Police spokeswoman declined comment on the issue, saying “We don’t discuss personnel matters.” Emory was the reporting officer on at least one of the fires, so clearly she… umm… started all of them and wants to burn down America, office bathroom by office bathroom. [Roll Call]

A U.S. Capitol Police officer investigating the recent wave of Hill fires has been transferred for poor work performance, according to a source. The source claims that the relieved investigator was “on at least one of the fires… a half hour late to the scene.” At his new location, presumably, he will always be on time when senators are burning. [Fox News]

When Bush was in Canada selling America to Mexico earlier this week, Canadian labor unions protested the secret negotiations between the three countries’ leaders. And whenever there’s a big political protest, there are cops in disguise — usually as “anarchists” — trying to start shit so that the uniformed cops can smash skulls and shoot their water cannons and rubber bullets and tear-gas cannisters at the real protesters who were just peacefully protesting. What was interesting about this week’s agents provocateurs is that they got caught on video and the video was immediately seen by hundreds of thousands of people all around the world and for possibly the first time ever, a police department has been shamed into admitting that it plants disguised cops in protest crowds to stir up shit. MORE »

Aren’t you glad George Allen lost his senate seat for calling Jim Webb’s Indian guy a Tunisian monkey in Italian or something? Yes, Macaca George was a racist dingbat in love with a prop football and slavery, but he wasn’t a heavily armed lunatic.

The emerging and evolving story of Webb’s aide being arrested and jailed for trying to sneak a loaded handgun and tons of ammo into the Russell Senate Office building is starting to sound like a hilarious outtake from “Pulp Fiction.” Yesterday we learned that Webb and his ninja gunmen had sacks of weapons when they showed up at National airport, so Webb was forced to leave his guns with the staffers for his flight to Beirut or wherever, and then there were guns everywhere and nobody was keeping track and next thing you know this former Marine has put one of Webb’s loaded semi-automatic pistols (or maybe even a Micro Uzi) in a briefcase — along with two fully loaded extra magazines — through the X-Ray machine and the Capitol cops lock him up.

Read Webb’s delusional Conrad Burns-esque excuses, after the jump.

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As proven by this photo: MORE »

Remember how the big brave Capitol Police caught the crackhead who ran into the Capitol with a gun? MORE »

Agape Press got us all flustered a few days ago when they alerted us to the existence of the Sodomy Squadron, a previously unreported branch of the miliary that sent many Wonkette readers into whistful, day-long reveries. Now they’re upping the ante with a revelation about what happens when good Christian schools want to eject suspected lesbos: they get a litle visit from the sassy squadron’s muscular, fabulously-toned enforcement arm. The American Family Association’s Steve Crampton explains:

“I think this is a case in point,” he asserts, “where you have private schools, Christian businesses — and really employers of all types, whether specifically and overtly Christian or not — being given what amount to totalitarian edicts by the ‘tolerance police.’ This is not freedom — this is totalitarianism.”

Totalitarianism indeed! My advice to all you good Christians out there: stay in your shelters, practice your obscure, beleaguered faith in safety where “they” can’t find you, and I’m sure this will all blow over in a couple of years. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to come out… er, sorry, poor word choice. MORE »

Dead horse, we know, but even after a couple weeks, this is still hysterical.

“Headed to the capitol to make a vote.” Still in the top-ten excuses list, easy. Patrick Kennedy, recovering drug addict and binge drinking congressman, we salute you. MORE »

Not only is this not the first time Representative McKinney has had a run-in with the law, but she’s even got video of previous encounters on her website. MORE »