police
Former Iraq Ambassador Ryan Crocker Arrested For DUI, Hit-And-Run
They say that astronauts become alcoholics after returning from space, because they were in space, which was better. This is perfectly analogous to the situation of former U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker — the man who SAVED IRAQ along with Gen. Petraeus and then… [somethinged] Afghanistan with Gen. Petraeus — who returned from seeing constant murder [...]
Maybe This Shot-Up Navy Veteran Lady Will Think Twice Before ‘Startling’ A Sheriff In Her Back Yard Again
Hello San Diego Sheriff’s Department! How are you protecting and serving the people of San Diego today? Oh, just by shooting Navy veterans while trespassing on their property because you are “startled,” that’s all, no big deal! Also, he’s SORRY, she STARTLED him (srsly) so what more do you people want?
Tulsa Cop Sues For God-Given Right To Not Have To Talk To Islamics
A police officer in Tulsa has been suspended because he arrested a minority without reasonable suspicion for a vague and unspecified “crime.” No, just joking, they’d never be suspended for that! But he was suspended for refusing to attend a mandatory cultural event at a mosque. A Tulsa police officer and devout Christian is suing [...]
Super Cool Police Lady Shows All Other Anaheim Protesters How To Properly Throw Bottles At Cops
OC Weekly — where one of your Wonkettes may have spent a cool dozen years of her benighted life — has what appears to be the smoking Molotov in the recent Anaheim Unpleasantness. Through a series of still photos and videos, they seem to have got the goods on a nice lady who went from [...]
Small Town Police Departments Really Need Those Tanks, Okay?
What is REAL AMERICA up to these days, hm? How are REAL AMERICAN HEROES, like police officers, for example, weathering the economic chaos of the past half decade or so? Turns out they are weathering it with lots of fun toys like tanks and machine guns, thanks to a “program” that allows them to acquire [...]
How Much Pain Can Cops Inflict On You? John Roberts To Decide This, Ugh
Hey, fun exercise: imagine nine people getting together to talk about tiny little gadgets that were invented specifically to cause agonizing pain, and figure out the parameters of who is allowed to use them on you, and in what context? Sounds awesome, right? Now, what if one of these nine people were, say, Antonin Scalia, [...]
A May Day Message For The NYPD, From Their Friends At Occupy Wall Street
Radio Commie Allison Kilkenny twitterz this special May Day message from Occupy. Who are the prosecuting attorneys in Occupy Against the Police Department? Come with us past the “more” tag, and find out after the jump!
Dude Running For Gabby Giffords’ Seat Chews Out ‘Crybaby’ Police Officer
And now we revisit Arizona, that great state of lies, anger, and murder, to see which hilarious Republican will maybe replace Gabrielle Giffords in her congressional district. Maybe this guy? “A Republican Arizona state senator running for the U.S. House seat vacated by former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords slammed a local police officer for opposing his [...]
East Haven Mayor’s Idea of Latino Outreach Is ‘Eating Some Tacos’
Four East Haven, Connecticut police officers were recently arrested by the FBI for unlawful abuse and search of some of the city’s Latino residents, but Mayor Joe Maturo’s immediate response to the arrests was so heinous as to suggest that maybe the officers had been told to be racist and abusive by a racist and [...]
NYPD Trained Police Force With Endlessly Looping Anti-Muslim Film
A terrible documentary film called “The Third Jihad,” allegedly bestowed upon the New York Police Department by someone at the Department of Homeland Security, was used to “train” new policepersons, was apparently put “on a continuous loop” at NYPD HQ, and was viewed by nearly 1,500 officers in total during its run, which began in [...]
Scenes From a Civil War: Cops Vs. Crying Mothers
Hello, retired Police Captain Ray Lewis! Today has been interesting. Sorry we haven’t had more to offer. The real story is happening as a live event, created by real people, and the total absence of political leaders is one way to both judge its authenticity and dismiss any real need for “news media” — even [...]
Missouri Cops Repeatedly Shoot Concrete Alligator, Fail To Kill It
Police in Keystone Independence, Missouri, knew just what to do when somebody called about seeing an alleged alligator not bothering anybody on some wooded property somewhere: They drove right over and tried to kill it, by shooting it repeatedly with their rifles. But, eventually, they figured out it was just a concrete lawn ornament. So [...]
Wisconsin Democratic State Rep Tackled Trying To Enter Capitol
Scott Walker’s new cops are really good at their jobs! This state representative should know better. You have to pretend to be a Koch brother to enter that building.
Senior Citizens Nearly Kill Each Other Over Campaign Yard Signs
Some old people in the Chicago suburb of Wilmette went bonkers on each other because of political candidate signs on somebody’s lawn. While the brutal old-on-old violence occurred back on October 4, it is just now reaching the news media because, honestly, elderly people seem to always be going on about something and who has [...]
Fap To Your Employees’ Sexts All You Want, Sez SCOTUS
Being a cop is a tough job, and it ought to come with a little bit of “leeway” in regards to certain laws that apply to ordinary folk. For instance, police officers are highly trained at operating their vehicles, so they shouldn’t get tickets if they drive over the speed limit and run lights or [...]
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