Hey guess what, people? Hillary Clinton is still trying to “woo” superdelegates by sending threatening letters to Nancy Pelosi; Barack Obama continues to shake his head sadly, with dignity; and John McCain wants Democrats to vote for him. In other words, boring news rules the Internet today, which is why we bring you this important update on the increasingly fragile emotional state of the bear who drove the National Zoo’s Butterstick to experiment with hard drugs. MORE »

IS HE TALKING ABOUT THE ONCE-CUTE POLAR BEAR BABY, OR OBAMA? “What did you think was going to happen when it grew up? Quit misleading the younger generation that everything will remain cute and cuddly.” — Max, London [Daily Mail]