Wonkette’s secret Eastern European money-laundering operative “Adam” sends this photo and writes: “Hey, I was in Poland last week traveling and I came across this ad. For real, is that the Doc Paul? Is he creating a freedom revolution FOR POLISH EYEGLASSES!!????” The answer is no. That is clearly Magneto, maybe.

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi was back in Foggy Bottom 24/7 last week, and you know what that means: photo-ops, photo-ops, photo-ops! Indeed, the State Department’s reception room was a revolving door to all kinds of diplobots from strategically unchallenging countries. And somebody had the nerve to call Our Heroine incompetent. Why do they keep doing that? So mean! Join me after the jump for a Condiological safari through the last seven days…

MORE »

Michael Gromek, 19, is from Poland, a nation known world over for its godless hedonism and atheistic college students. So when Michael came to visit the US, the Good Lord placed him in the noble hands of a God-fearing Evangelical Christian couple in North Carolina, our second-holiest state.

Gromek, though, was not particularly grateful. So he bitched to Der Spiegel, favorite newspaper of German Marxists.

Things began to go wrong as soon as I arrived in my new home in Winston-Salem, where I was to spend my year abroad. For example, every Monday my host family would gather around the kitchen table to talk about sex. My host parents hadn’t had sex for the last 17 years because — so they told me — they were devoting their lives to God. They also wanted to know whether I drank alcohol. I admitted that I liked beer and wine. They told me I had the devil in my heart.

More of Michael’s harrowing tale, after the jump.

MORE »

Jokes to write selves: MORE »

Polish Prime Minister Jaroslav Kaczynski arrived in Washington thinking he was going to meet with the president. It would’ve been only right, after Poland bravely performed as “the coalition” in the first few years of the Iraq War. But it turns out Bush forgot Poland:

According to a schedule released before Kaczynski’s arrival, he was to meet with President Bush at midafternoon, but White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said there was no such meeting on Bush’s schedule. She said a meeting was planned with Vice President Dick Cheney. “If the president were to drop by, we would let you know,” she added.

That’s gotta hurt. MORE »