Tag: poland

This friggin' guy

President Of Earth Donald J. Trump To America’s NATO Allies: Drop Dead

Donald Trump has some new ideas about the U.S. commitment to the NATO alliance. They are ridiculous, frightening thoughts.

Daily Caller And RedState Post Thoughtful Reactions To Dallas Police Shootings, Wait What?

The editor of National Review Online also had something decent to say!

Five Dallas Cops Killed By Sniper Who Wanted Race War. Joe Walsh Says He’s IN!

Gunmen fired on Dallas police Thursday night following a protest march, killing five and wounding seven.
He's a very talented guy; he'll be able to pull it off.

James O’Keefe’s Shoddy George Soros Spywork Even Lamer Than We’d Imagined

With James O'Keefe's botched attempt to infiltrate George Soros's Open Society Foundations, we learn (again) just what a shoddy amateur spy he is.
No, not this guy

Actual Nazi Sentenced To Prison For Genocide, Obamacare

Nazis, amirite? Cramming gay marriage down everyone's throats, handing out taxpayer-funded sexxxytime abortion pills to corrupt your innocent virginal daughters, socializing healthcare, saying mean things on the internet about Christian pizza parlor owners* -- and oh yeah, murdering millions of...
Happy birthday, you young thing!

President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’

If the President Barry H. Bamz (D-Choom Gang) thinks medical marijuana might be good for you, who are we to argue? CNN's chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, a vocal supporter of the legalization of medical marijuana, asks Obama in the...
Much more fun than dumb old dinosaur bones.

Did You Misplace Your Dildo During The 18th Century? If So, Good News!

They found it! You're not getting it back, though, so don't rush out for a bottle of lube yet. Yes, archaeologists have discovered a very well-preserved 250-year-old dildo in an old latrine in Gdańsk, Poland. It is very ... well, it's...
There is a certain cockeyed logic to it...

Derp Roundup: Rand Paul Explains How Not Deporting People Is Just Like WW II Internment Camps

Yes, it's another Derp Roundup, where we steam-clean our browser tabs of stories that were too stupid to ignore, mix the slurry with booze, and serve it up to you. Consume carefully! Our Top Derp comes from Rand...
Romance, my ass

Rachel Maddow Brings You A Tale Of Polish Teabaggers Vs. Amorous Donkeys

From Thursday's Rachel Maddow Show, a story of love, loss, and redemption from Poznan, Poland. In its farm animal exhibit, the Poznan Zoo has a pair of donkeys, Napoleon and Antosia, who really like each other. They're inseparable. So...

Ted Cruz Will Ram Missiles Down Putin’s Throat In A Firm And Manly Way

Just in case you were worried that we hadn't heard enough stupid ideas from the Git Tuff On Roosha wing of the GOP, Ted Cruz weighed in Monday with his own suggestions for what could be done about Russia's...

American Kids Not Getting Dumber, But Not Getting More Smarter Either

Hello Americans. Today we are writing very slowly, because we know that you don’t read very fast. Or good. And we promise to stay away from complicated math, simple math, and any scientific theories more complicated than gravity, because...

Polish Archbishop Knows What Causes Pedophile Priests: Divorce, Porn, And Those Slutty Abused Kids

Right on the heels of suspending the "Bling Bishop," New Pope has another misbehaving European prelate on his hands: Archbishop Jozef Michalik, the head of the Polish Episcopate, who kind of made everybody in Poland groan and slap their...

U.S. Is Number One at Being in 28th Place for Health Care!

America is Number One in everything. We are the bestest country on the goddam planet because we have huge dicks and trucknutz and guns everywhere and democracy and robot drones that kill whoever the fuck we want and...

Mitt Romney Did Not Say Any of the Things You Heard Him Say

Who ELSE can Romney offend, now that he is done insulting England, praising socialism (seriously), scheduling a $50,000 per plate fundraiser on a national day of fasting set aside to commemorate Holocaust victims, making thinly veiled anti-Semitic comments praising...

Success! Romney (Barely) Ends Foreign Trip Without Savage Brawl Between Campaign And Press

Here is a Romney press secretary telling the shouty press corps assembled at the Polish Tomb of the Unknown to "shove it" and "kiss ass" and "show some respect." THEY ARE AT A HOLY SITE! (Actually, reporters, dude's...