Wonkette

Big John Cornyn had to speak at a convention,
Oh my, what to say, with all that attention!
He queried his staff, they dwelled on the matter,
‘Til finally they settled on iambic quadrameter!
“A cowboy to narrate! Some bales of hay!”
Then Cornyn responded, “but isn’t that gay?”
“Nay” said his staffers, “It’s rugged, and tough!
It’s hard-working and white; you’ll look crazy buff!”
So Cornyn agreed and they made this video,
It’s shockingly gay; they thought it was witty yo!
Dear god, it’s hilarious, to a cosmic degree,
‘Cause this is what happens when egos run free.

[Burnt Orange Report]

Today is New York City’s “Poem in Your Pocket Day,” the most elitist holiday in America (besides San Francisco on any given Friday). And the latest America’s Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has penned a glorious poem for his pocket in celebration. It is called “Press Conference,” and the gist of it is that Press Conferences are terrible. It rhymes too! How post-postmodern. MORE »

Ralph Nader may think Hillary Clinton is in with the Corporates, sure, but Ralph is in with Democracy. That’s why he is so disturbed about Obama supporters pressuring her to drop out of the race. He was so shocked, aesthetically, when Sen. Patrick Leahy told her to drop out last week that he wrote a poem for Hillary. It is a beautiful poem, written in free verse. Hell, why stop there? It is actually the most beautiful poem since one of Shakespeare’s many poems. You should read it after the jump, if you have any feelings. MORE »