Tag Archives: plutocrats

  dreams can come true

Texas Oil Heir Finds Secret Of Happiness: Murdering Endangered Rhinos

This fuckin' guy.
There are, like, 5,000 black rhinos left in the wild, tops. And now there’s one fewer, thanks to Texas oil heir Corey Knowlton, who legally shot an endangered black rhino and then legally brought it back to the United States, because that made Corey Knowlton feel like a big strong hunting man. What, how even, please explain to us NPR. Read more on Texas Oil Heir Finds Secret Of Happiness: Murdering Endangered Rhinos…
  oh also after dinner there's an orgy

Romney Fans To Gobble Down Sex Pills At Posh Fundraiser

Real Americans everywhere are recoiling in disgust at Mitt Romney’s latest campaign move: He’s inviting the wealthiest plutocrats to dine with him on Star Island, a literally insular retreat of the rich and powerful near Miami. The fat cats will have to pony up $50,000 apiece just to bask in Mitt’s presence, with the campaign accountants using some kind of jiggery pokery to make a mockery of the legal limits on campaign contributions. Here, the 1 percent will eat gold-plated quail livers and plot their continuing class war against … haha, just kidding, nobody is at all angry about a standard fundraising tactic enjoyed by Democratic and Republican candidates alike! But there is a wee bit of outrage over the fact that the host of this event is the Chairman of the Board of the company that makes a popular emergency contraceptive, which means that this event is basically the equivalent of Mitt Romney sending nuns to Auschwitz. Read more on Romney Fans To Gobble Down Sex Pills At Posh Fundraiser…
  important opinions from your betters

‘Heartless Plutocrat Magazine’ Names Texas Best State For Heartless Plutocrats And Their Serfs

You guys, Chief Executive magazine, the #1 magazine for Chief Executives by Chief Executives that isn’t Forbes, has studied each and every one of the states of this great union of ours to determine which one is best, for Chief Executives? Can you guess which one, based on our beloved cactus-dong photo to the right there, and also based on your knowledge of what Chief Executives like? TIME’S UP, it’s Texas, Texas is the best state in America, for Chief Executives. But what makes Texas so great? Is it the barbecue, the Austin music scene, the poisonous snakes, or the complete absence of government regulations of any kind? Find out after the jump! (HINT: It is the last one.) Read more on ‘Heartless Plutocrat Magazine’ Names Texas Best State For Heartless Plutocrats And Their Serfs…
  eat the poor

Fat-Cat President Signs Big Book Deal While People Starve

Barack Obama once again demonstrated his callous unconcern for the American people by signing a major book deal right before he was sworn into office. Obama received a $500,000 advance for a middle-school reader’s version of Dreams From My Father on January 15. This obscene amount calls for a congressional investigation, and harsh words from Christopher Dodd! It also suggests that the only way to secure a decent book advance these days is to get elected president — a process that is only slightly more difficult than getting a publisher to look at your manuscript. [Washington Times] Read more on Fat-Cat President Signs Big Book Deal While People Starve…
  we all must sacrifice

But How Will Our Nation’s Downtrodden Plutocrats Fare Under New Stimulus Bill?

Aaargh NUMBERS ARE CONFUSING. This morning we have two (2) bits of information regarding what will happen to America’s fabulously wealthy Wall Street executives if and when the stimulus bill becomes a law. But it is sort of complicated, and who knows, these provisions seem to change by the hour, so do not be shocked if the stimulus bill comes out of committee with a brand-new stipulation that bank CEOs get a $15,000 tax credit for their first dozen concubines as long as those concubines are returned in original condition by December 31. Otherwise, everyone gets executed by Dick Cheney. Read more on But How Will Our Nation’s Downtrodden Plutocrats Fare Under New Stimulus Bill?…
  we help u find inauguration housing

Insane Plutocrat Thinks Someone From Craigslist Will Go For This

Well this is the shadiest sentence ever written: “Located in the heart of DC on embassy road –where all of the embassy’s are.” Hmm, wonder if that’s near Embassy Row, where there are also a lot of embassies? Another major tip-off: “All money will be handled through money wire.” A true plutocrat would never be so tasteless as to mention the word “money,” twice! Obviously, John Edwards is behind this scam. [Craigslist] Read more on Insane Plutocrat Thinks Someone From Craigslist Will Go For This…
  shiny things

Michelle Obama Wears Expensive Jewelry, Just Like Republicans!

Michelle Obama is worse than Cindy McCain times Sarah Palin divided by Imelda Marcos times one million. Her election-night earrings cost a reported $11,000 — approximately twice what a healthy human kidney will fetch on the black market! This is a relevant metric because next year we will all be selling our kidneys to make rent, until we burn down our rental dwellings for firewood. Meanwhile, the Obamas will be sitting in the White House feasting on precious gems and fillets of endangered species. [New York Magazine/British Vogue] Read more on Michelle Obama Wears Expensive Jewelry, Just Like Republicans!…
  elite homeowners

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes

OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube] Read more on Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes…