Tag Archives: playgirl

  aww shoot

Levi Johnston Broke After Squandering Playgirl Pay On Boats And Guns And Stuff

It’s been a fun few years, but now Levi Johnston, once and future sperm gifter extraordinaire, has joined every other 22-year-old in America and become broke and a tenant in his mother’s home. According to a report in US Weekly, Levi has already (“already”) squandered his $1 million winnings from being Mr. Playgirl Winter 2010 on guns, ATVs and other beacons of manhood. This has caused him to cease paying child support to Bristol Palin for Tripp, allegedly, but has not prevented him from naming his impending second child after a gun. But IS IT ANY WONDER a boy-man with not really that much money, in modern B-list terms, has lost it all years before he even becomes ineligible for his parents’ health insurance plan? One person, at least, is excited about this: HIS MOMMY. Read more on Levi Johnston Broke After Squandering Playgirl Pay On Boats And Guns And Stuff…
  sex organs in the news

One of Michele Bachmann’s 10,000 Children Refuses To Pose For Playgirl

Playgirl is still alive somehow. And we guess it’s because it does stuff like this: finding Michele Bachmann’s 28-year-old son and asking him to pose nude in their publication, for publicity. He said no, of course. But considering Bachmann has five children and has foster-parented 23 others, something she brags about on the campaign trail, statistically there’s a pretty good chance one of them would do it if enough were asked. The real scandal here, though, is that, while Bachmann and her husband “biblical therapist” Marcus went to good, barely-accredited Christian schools like Oral Roberts and Regent University, their son Lucas goes to UConn. Rebel! Read more on One of Michele Bachmann’s 10,000 Children Refuses To Pose For Playgirl…
  america's mayor

Mean Old Wasilla Mayor (Not Sarah) Calls Levi a Dumb Nudist

Good god, we’ve gone several hours without a Levi Johnston update! Yesterday, we all learned of Young Levi’s political plans: He wants to run for mayor of Wasilla, because he heard about this other idiot who managed to become mayor of Wasilla. But his bastard child’s sketchy old granny (Sarah Palin) isn’t even mayor of Wasilla anymore, so this wouldn’t really be the SMACKDOWN Levi and the Us Weekly/Entertainment Tonight industrial complex so badly requires, for America. Turns out some old dude is mayor of Alaska’s blue-tarp gravel pit, and this old dude doesn’t even dig Levi’s fresh moves! Read more on Mean Old Wasilla Mayor (Not Sarah) Calls Levi a Dumb Nudist…
  america's least favorite reality show

Levi Johnston’s Got a Towel Over His Junk

UPDATE: Really, a guy with his business covered by a big old towel is “not safe for work” now? WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, etc., but if a nation’s few remaining employed people can’t practice their love on a front-page semi-nekkid Levi Johnston, we will hide the snausage after the jump. NOW BACK TO THE POST: Sarah Palin’s favorite “porn thing” website, Playgirl.com, keeps leaking these pictures of Levi Johnston, teen sex model. Why did Sarah Palin let a known gay-pornography star take the towel off his ding-dong and stick said ding-dong into Sarah Palin’s daughter? This is the biggest political story of all time, forever. Read more on Levi Johnston’s Got a Towel Over His Junk…
  prominent nakeds

A HOCKEY STICK! The lucky object that Levi Johnston oriented around his naked body in such a way as to accentuate his penis or clean fingernails or whatever in the sex pictures he’s doing. Congratulations to a hockey stick, which presumably beat out some sort of physical manifestation of Twitter and Graydon Carter’s fancyman hairpiece to get the gig. [US] Read more on …
  dreamboats

LEVI JOHNSON IS HAVING MORE FUN THAN EVERYONE YOU KNOW COMBINED: “‘He’s pumped! He’s ready to shock the world. The hell with fifteen minutes,’ [Levi’s publicist Tank] Jones told Us over the phone. ‘As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out the house naked. I said ‘not now!’ Johnston himself took the phone for a moment to chime in, telling Us: ‘I just get naked. That’s what I do.'” That’s what “sex” means, right? Being naked? If not, Levi Johnson has some questions. [Daily Intel] Read more on …
  cocktober

JESUS CHRIST, THIS WAS OLD NEWS: YES FINE OKAY TIPSTERS, Levi Johnston is going to be nakey in Playgirl, according to the new story that is the exact same thing as the story from several weeks ago. See? Lauri Apple even did an illustration back then and everything! But anyway, Levi is working out six days a week now and will look super hot. [AP] Read more on …
  op-art by lauri apple

What Will Levi Johnston Use To Hide His Schlong?

Our little Levi Johnston is known for one thing, and that’s putting his wang into Sarah Palin’s teen-aged daughter’s hoohah. AND YET … his Playgirl pictorial will be ruined by some type of duck blind over his ding-dong. But what will cover Wasilla’s most infamous working-class wiener? Our op-art specialist Lauri Apple has many suggestions. Read more on What Will Levi Johnston Use To Hide His Schlong?…
  wasilla pride

Levi Johnston To Pose Nearly Nude For Gay Website

Sarah Palin’s least-favorite almost-son-in-law Levi Johnston will not vanish from the public eye, ever! He’s doing a photoshoot with a website called Playgirl, which, despite its gender specific name, is actually a site for gay men who like to look at photographs of other men, naked. There is nothing wrong with this! And, you know, we are pretty happy that of the two unlikely Wasilla-based media sensations of September 2008, Sarah Palin is now an unemployed twitterer and Levi Johnston is the celebrity (?) of September 2009. Who could’ve predicted it? [Gawker/Violet Blue/The Sword] Read more on Levi Johnston To Pose Nearly Nude For Gay Website…
 

Flabby, Frumpy, Hairy Men Have a Chance After All

A survey of 2000 Playgirl readers provides the best news Washington men have had since the Senate recessed before taking their Viagra away: — While 58% favored a slightly muscular build, 42% said they found love handles kind of sexy — Chest hair is a turn-off according to 51 %, but 47% said just a little is fine with them — Metrosexuals are definitely out, and rough around the edges rule the day (73%) — Big bucks are unimportant; only 4% responded that money mattered in the long run The real news here is that Playgirl found 2000 subscribers who aren’t men. Alternate headline: “Playgirl readers willing to settle.” Read more on Flabby, Frumpy, Hairy Men Have a Chance After All…