Hot Older Ladies More Attractive During Recessions
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
According to Experts, the recently minted members of America’s middle class — the ones who got ARMs on their three-bedroom ranches in the exurbs and took out $600 a month car loans on their Ford Explorers and used credit cards to pay for their Starbucks Gargantua-chinos every morning — will now be sad hobos along with the rest of us. They will be the “former middle class.” But one traditionally neglected and sorely undervalued population should do quite well in the tough times ahead: sexy ladies of a certain age. MORE »
Hey everybody, remember 
A shocking new study proves that Republican voters are having more sex than their Democratic counterparts, but Democrats are having less sex with more people, and everybody is basically watching pornography day and night, and both the right and left would happily let themselves be sodomized by the new president, in the White House, as long as that president is “attractive” to the kind of people who vote. 
Playboy polled its readers as to which of two potential first ladies is sexier. And apparently it’s Bill Clinton over Ann “Mitt’s First and Only Wife” Romney. Because Playboy “readers” are all finally coming to grips with their homoerotic impulses, or something. Also because Ann looks like a middle-aged woman whose had like 500 identical sons, and Bill looks like an old horn-dog. They really shoulda done this with the trophy wives, though. We’d have our own “Mrs. Fred Thompson vs Mrs. Hottie Kucinich” poll but we have to live with ourselves.