planned parenthood
Catholic Church Investigating New Threat To Humanity: The Girl Scouts
We wonder if there is anything the Catholic Church could be investigating besides the Girl Scouts of America? NO. There is NOT. Nothing at all, move along, move along! Yes, Mother Church is busy investigating whether it should … well, not sure. Thunder from the pulpit about their evil ways? Discourage parish-based troops? Tell the [...]
This One House Republican Really Loves Planned Parenthood
Well how about that, a freshman House Republican, Illinois’ Bob Dold, is going to sign his death wish this week. Not only does he plan “to introduce a bill Wednesday that would ensure Planned Parenthood’s access to federal funding,” but he’ll announce it at a press conference alongside Planned Parenthood. Total mindfuck. Does Dold walk [...]
Susan G. Komen Staffers Dropping Like Flies
Leslie Aun, Susan G. Komen’s national vice president of communications, quit yesterday so that she can spend more time with someone else’s children, in her new role as VP of communications for Venture Philanthropy Partners. We would like to shout a big Yay! but instead we’re muttering a small yay. Because really, it’s the Komen [...]
Susan G. Komen Foundation In Hot Sexy Hook-Up With Dictator’s Daughter
The Susan G. Komen Foundation has been so busy trying to abort their corporate image and stem the (menstrual) flow of their profits, they may have forgotten to do the proper amount of VETTENING of their spanking new breast-saving partner for the Susan G. Komen Uzbekibekibekistan Race for the Cure, a certain delightful dicatator’s daughter [...]
Sara Benincasa Fights For Vagina Rights At Fiesta In NYC Tonight
Oh, hello, beasts of burden. Remember me? I’m good ol’ Sara Benincasa, your friend from the days of a kkkolumn called Barry Can You Hear Me? Well now I am Back, hahaha, and more terrible than ever. So terrible, in fact, that tonight I am hosting a party for the feared chieftainesses of wimmin’s lib [...]
Alaska GOP Sen. Lisa Murkowski Keeps Not Getting Memo On War On War On Women
GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski, why do you insist on undermining the War on the War on Women? RNC Chair Reince Priebus has said it’s fictional. Kathryn-Jean Lopez twits 17 times a day with links to her one or two columns saying the same thing. Even Ol’ Whatserface, Drinky Nooner — who you know has seen [...]
Obama Steps to Texas, To Be Blamed for Lack of Women’s Clinics in 3 … 2 … 1
Texas has been havin’ itself a little fun this week the way it usually likes to have fun: by dragging Planned Parenthood behind its pickup truck, until it is dead. But whoops, it seems their new law outlawing Texas Medicaid’s Women’s Health Program participation in any women’s clinic that is tied to abortion is against [...]
Indiana GOP Rep: Girl Scouts Are Bunch of Gay Communist Abortionists
Remember a few decades ago when conservative parents used to keep themselves awake at night worrying about the music of Judas Priest or Kiss shooting mind control rays full of Satanism into their children’s brains? Those would be today’s “center-left” voters. To be a true conservative American Jesus warrior these days, you must move past [...]
Failed Republican Windbag Karen Handel Self-Aborts From Komen
A week after 100-percent prime Republican Karen Handel and her completely non-ideological money thing that “best” “serves” women decided to cut its funding to Planned Parenthood because it was “under investigation” by crazies, and then undecided to once more, Handel announced her resignation Tuesday as senior vice president of public affairs in a terribly rude [...]
House GOP To Ban Black Ladies From Going Pro-Choice On Their Fetuses
Would-be aborted black fetuses have found a new friend in Rep. Trent Franks (of Arizona, sigh) and the collected shiny-faced grinners of the House Republican caucus. A clever woods-goblin has planted into these congressmen’s heads the notion that “abortion is the leading cause of death in the black community,” and not the official NIH-sanctioned answer [...]
Ari Fleischer, Ex-Bush Spokesman, Secretly Involved In Komen Disaster
Question for the ages: Why do so many former Bush flunkies simply refuse to STAY FLUSHED? Ex-Bush spokesman Ari Fleischer, for example, continues to circle the Beltway bowl as a human resources intern or some such at the Susan G. Komen Foundation. What a mighty non-coincidence, indeed, that a refugee from the colossally failed Bush [...]
NRO Will Now Explain to Stupid Liberals How Private Charity Works
Oh noes, National Review Online editors are feeling a touch put out that they went to all the “trouble” of holding a group fap session righteously congratulating the Susan G. Komen foundation for cutting off grants to Planned Parenthood and then posted the account of it online only for the charity to admit shortly thereafter [...]
Komen Charity Reverses Weird New Pro-Breast Cancer For Poors Policy
Have you heard about the strangest new craze in breast cancer charities, the kind that doesn’t actually want to fight breast cancer? This for a brief period was the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the behemoth breast cancer research charity always running around madly putting pink ribbon stickers on everything from yogurt cups to professional football [...]
Santorum: Planned Parenthood In Poor Areas? It Likes Killing Minorities
Rick Santorum needs some attention! Say something ridiculous and offensive, Rick! “Well, look at — and I know they dispute this — certainly a lot of evidence that the location of their clinics happen to be in places, historically places, where there are high concentrations of minorities, for example.” Sure, that will work! Just say [...]
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