planned parenthood

Oh, those fun-loving merry tricksters from “Operation Save America!” Last Sunday, the little scamps invaded a Unitarian church to interrupt the service and yell the Gospel at the congregation. And they continued to let the Grim Times roll in New Orleans Tuesday, staging a public “wake” for what they claimed was an actual aborted fetus […]

The Daily Caller advises us today that a Portland, Oregon, ice cream parlor offended the sensibilities of all good pearl-clutching citizens Thursday by holding a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood, and it even “created a new flavor of the frozen treat to mark the occasion.” Oh no! Now even ice cream has lost its innocence! The […]

This is encouraging! For all of us who wondered how we’ll ever get along come 2017, when a new president means we’ll be starved of “Obama is a muslin” stories, Washington Times columnist Robert Knight is auditioning a new possibility: Maybe Hillary Clinton worships Baal, a generic name for any one of several local deities […]

Yesterday’s SCOTUS decision striking down a protester buffer ring around Massachusetts health clinics made me remember the time I got “counseled” by a man protesting Planned Parenthood. He yelled “MURDERER!” at me and waved a Bible. I was 25, scared, and fresh off a nasty surprise in the form of a broken condom. I blurted out, “Not […]

You all remember how the Republicans made a big show after Nobummer’s re-election of learning that maybe putting all their eggs in the ‘angry white man’ basket might not work in modern America? That lasted about 2.8 seconds, until Republicans started, you know, being Republican. But since the report that outlined that sincere push was […]

So how about that State of the Union response, huh? No, not Mike Lee, though we’re sure that was adorable. Nope, not Rand Paul. We couldn’t even find his speech. The lady one. No, not the Spanglish-speaking one. The OTHER lady. The one that spoke American but gave the same speech. Cathy John Jacob Jingleheimer […]

Oh ladies. If the GOP isn’t insulting your intellectual capacity, demanding you be submissive, or trying to keep your libido in check (because you are all raging fuckmonsters), then they are desperately wooing you for your votes. Their latest attempt to distract from their 1930-era policies is to scrounge around and find a GEN-YOU-INE lady […]

The story so far: Under a hail of imaginary bricks and pee jars and real sexy Wendy Davises, Texas’s state legislature passed a law that says all current abortion providers must have admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles of their clinics. Supporters of the bill said it was to help ladies be healthier, […]

Well, that half-hearted celebration sure was premature. The 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has rescinded Monday’s federal ruling that had found part of Texas’s terrible abortion law unconstitutional, restoring restrictions that will have the effect of closing most of the state’s clinics. “This unanimous decision is a vindication of the careful deliberation by the Texas […]

Hey, remember that loony guy last year who protested all the gheys by setting fire to a box of Cheerios at gay-friendly General Mills, with hilarious lawn-burning results? OK, that guy is not really part of this story at all, but the very same day we ran that story, another friend of Jebus burned a […]

In case you were wondering what depths that monster Obama would sink to in order to promote his Hitlerian death panel scheme AKA Obamacare, wonder no more. Planned Parenthood, a beneficiary of federal tax dollars and the largest abortion provider in America, is now hooking up with actresses Scarlett Johansson, Aisha Tyler and Gabrielle Union […]

Longtime Wonkette frenemy and gift to satire Bradlee Dean took to the interwebs Saturday to share some insights on the “Sons of Liberty Radio” podcast, warning that Barack Hussein Obama is no friend of the dusky-hued races, nevermind what the lamestream media has brainwashed people to think: And do tell your black friends and your […]

Noted debutante Bristol Palin, who became an unwilling postergirl for chastity and purity and second virginities and whatnot (second virginities are when you only give up the butt), has done posted a “thought” on the MyFace and her dumb religion blog, and honestly, she is probably plumb tuckered out from having it ghostwritten for her. […]

The state of Texas sent a strong message to women last year when it completely dismantled Medicaid funding for women’s healthcare so that Planned Parenthood wouldn’t get any state money — the cuts didn’t defund any abortions, because those were already not funded by state money. But the reasoning seemed to have been that pap […]

Some days, when the existential fear of meaninglessness that shadows all human life has pressed its jackbooted heel upon our tender necks and loss weighs upon our hearts, we like to cruise Buzzfeed for soul-affirming lists of 17 Cats That Know How to Party or 41 Awesome Muppet Show Sketches You Haven’t Watched Since 1982 […]