Tag Archives: plamegate

  whores

Scott McClellan Tells Congress His Many Terrible Secrets!

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan testified in Congress today about his terrible book, What Happened When I Did Yo Mama, and told them that President Bush may have vaguely possibly ordered former chief of staff Andy Card to order McClellan to deny I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby XVII’s involvement in leaking Valerie Plame’s name, to the press. At least there is “suspicion” Bush and Cheney were involved, somehow, McClellan thinks. Scott McClellan is very Important for this. [AP] Read more on Scott McClellan Tells Congress His Many Terrible Secrets!…
 

Perino: White House May, Uh, Not Necessarily, Well Maybe I Shouldn’t Say, Could Get In Trouble, Um, Er, Snarf, Destroy Scott McClellan

Now the thing about Scott McClellan is that he’s terrible, with his book, and he now may have tragically reopened the Valerie Plame “Plamegate” saga anew. John Conyers & Palz on the House Judiciary Committee are open to hearing McClellan’s testimony, meaning the White House will have to somehow stop him from testifying, meaning frozen royal press secretary Dana Perino had to give reporters some inadvertent “legal comedy” today, meaning ha ha, OH GOD. Read more on Perino: White House May, Uh, Not Necessarily, Well Maybe I Shouldn’t Say, Could Get In Trouble, Um, Er, Snarf, Destroy Scott McClellan…
 

Scooter Libby Disbarred From Life

Ex-chief of staff to Dick Cheney, known perjurer and wuss jail-dodger I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been disbarred, according to a D.C. Court of Appeals ruling. The cut-and-running court explained: “When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory.” Yes, dumb old Scooter was a textbook case of “moral turpitude,” that old scourge of an offense. Remember when he lied all those times? They were the most morally turpitudinous lies since the great Turpitude Outbreak of 1913. [WTOP] Read more on Scooter Libby Disbarred From Life…
 

We’re Missing Cheney E-mails That Might Implicate Him? LIES!

On September 30, 2003, President Bush said he’d “take care” of anyone in his administration who leaked Valerie Plame’s secret CIA identity to the journalists. On THIS VERY SAME DAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2003, Dick Cheney sent out several e-mails that have now gone missing. Our very vice president! Deleting his very e-mails! I know I never delete e-mails. Read more on We’re Missing Cheney E-mails That Might Implicate Him? LIES!…
 

Plamegate Closed!

Former White House aide Lewis “Scooter” Libby has dropped his his appeal in the CIA leak case, his attorney said Monday. “We remain firmly convinced of Mr. Libby’s innocence,” attorney Theodore Wells said. “However, the realities were, that after five years of government service by Mr. Libby and several years of defending against this case, the burden on Mr. Libby and his young family of continuing to pursue his complete vindication are too great to ask them to bear.” Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has said the leak investigation is now closed. Libby Drops Appeal Of Spy Leak Conviction [AP] Read more on Plamegate Closed!…
 

Scott McClellan: Depends on What Your Definition of ‘Lie’ Is

The publishers of former White House press secretary Scott McClellan’s upcoming memoir are calling out the liberal media for taking its baby-killing spin on the book’s tantalizing press excerpt. Peter Osnos, founder and editor-in-chief of Public Affairs Books, clarified to Bloomberg News that McClellan does not claim Bush lied to him during the Valerie Plame case: “He told him something that wasn’t true, but the president didn’t know it wasn’t true… The president told him what he thought to be the case.” So we can soon expect Scott McClellan’s second memoir, When Bush Told Me He Didn’t Know He Was Lying To Me, That Too Was A Lie. [Editor & Publisher] Read more on Scott McClellan: Depends on What Your Definition of ‘Lie’ Is…
 

Scott McClellan Trashes Bush Admin in Memoir

Scott McClellan was the White House press secretary during a tough stretch. Let’s call it the “Golden Age of Lying,” as opposed to the “I Have Feeling Bush Is Lying” (2001-2003) and “Eh, Bush Is Lying Again, Big Whoop” (2005-present) eras that bookended his tenure. McClellan always seemed like a decent guy beneath that shiny veneer of geopolitical sin, and now he’s coming out to exonerate himself. His new memoir, WHAT HAPPENED: Inside the Bush White House and What’s Wrong With Washington, comes out soon, and within it he comments on his role — the administration’s bitch — in Plamegate. He names liar peoples’ names, too — five of them! You can probably guess at least three without thinking. Read more on Scott McClellan Trashes Bush Admin in Memoir…
 

Everything’s Just a Lame Online Diversion These Days, Including the ‘New Deep Throat’

In the Watergate era, “Deep Throat” was supposedly a government insider who met Bob Woodward in a parking garage and moodily smoked cigarettes while wearing a trench coat. The fact that Woodward himself was a government spook recently transferred from Naval Intelligence to the Washington Post newsroom led many to assume “Deep Throat” was a group of CIA bigshots nervous about the Nixon Administration turning the nation into a dictatorship, or something. Anyway, Nixon finally gave up for the sake of the country and everybody won Academy Awards for “All the President’s Men” and Henry Kissinger is still at large. Read more on Everything’s Just a Lame Online Diversion These Days, Including the ‘New Deep Throat’…
 

Scooter Libby Has Paid His Debt To Society

Here it is, Scooter Libby’s receipt from the courthouse — evidence that his lawyers cut a quarter-million-dollar check (plus $400 for some fee) from his legal defense fund and had a courier drop it off. THE SYSTEM WORKS, PEOPLE. Read more on Scooter Libby Has Paid His Debt To Society…
 

Free Scooter (Symbolically)

Don’t worry, everyone. Scooter Libby may have have had his sentence commuted, but there’s still a good chance for justice to be served. Because the President can still pardon him, any time he wants and for any reason! Read more on Free Scooter (Symbolically)…
 

Happy Almost Fourth of July, Losers!

Number of pardons Bush has granted: 113, less than any president in a century. Number of pardons Bush has denied: More than 1,000. Number of commutation requests Bush has denied: More than 4,000. Commuting Cheney’s henchman’s prison sentence right after the bail appeal is denied by the U.S. Court of Appeals: Fuck you, America! Read more on Happy Almost Fourth of July, Losers!…
 

And Justice For All

The usual crybaby anti-Americans are complaining about Scooter Libby’s well-deserved escape from an impending prison sentence. As fine people such as Christopher Hitchens and Henry Kissinger have noted, L. Irve “Scooter” Libby didn’t do anything but launch a coordinated White House media attack on an American CIA agent as revenge on her diplomat husband who was sent by the CIA to Africa in 2002 to confirm that Iraq had bought weapons-grade uranium from Nigeria so that the White House could start its Iraq War. But he didn’t find any such thing. Read more on And Justice For All…
 

Justice Served Yet Again: Scooter Sentence Commuted!

Bush finally manned up and did the right thing — kinda sorta didn’t-really-pardon Scooter Libby. “I respect the jury’s verdict,” Bush said in a statement. “But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby’s sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.” Read more on Justice Served Yet Again: Scooter Sentence Commuted!…
 

Scooter’s Going Up the River

The U.S. Court of Appeals in D.C. unanimously rejected Scooter Libby’s plea for bail instead of jail, and that means Al Qaeda’s Dick Cheney’s No. 2 man is off to prison unless Bush pardons the beloved neocon bureaucrat. Read more on Scooter’s Going Up the River…
 

Scooter Becomes Nation’s 2,200,000th Prisoner!

How awesome is America? We’re No. 1 when it comes to locking up our citizens. Take that, France! Once again, the United States prison population is the biggest of the industrialized world, while we’re also tops in the percentage of our people we keep behind bars. There are 2.2 million prisoners, with 1.6 million of those belonging to the state or federal prisons and the remainder apparently sharing small-town jail cells with Otis the Drunk. Read more on Scooter Becomes Nation’s 2,200,000th Prisoner!…
 

Scooter’s Hoosegow Bound

In a shocking travesty of justice, I. Scooter Libby is going directly to jail (in a month or so). Judge Reggie Walton declined to delay sentencing, seemingly because he just doesn’t like the dude. Read more on Scooter’s Hoosegow Bound…
 

SCREAMING SCOOTER LIBBY SENT BACK TO JAIL

WASHINGTON (AP) — Screaming and crying, Irve “Scooter” Libby was escorted out of a courtroom and back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that he must serve out his entire 30-month sentence behind bars rather than in his home. “It’s not right!” shouted the weeping Libby, who was convicted of four felonies in a reckless spy-outing case. “Mom!” he called out to Dick Cheney in the audience. Read more on SCREAMING SCOOTER LIBBY SENT BACK TO JAIL…
 

Clemency-Worthy

Word on the street is, Bush is blowing up at anyone who even asks him about pardoning Scooter Libby. Dude doesn’t want to talk about it right now, ok? Today’s Times piece on the subject gives us two anonymous sources who nicely illustrate why no one can get a straight answer — Team Cheney wants a pardon now, and the dudes who are trying to wrest control of the West Wing from that lunatic think it’d be idiotic. Read more on Clemency-Worthy…
 

BOB NOVAK’S IN UR JURIEZ, CONVICTIN’ UR PEEPS

Eyewitness report sent by a high-ranking Wonkette Operative this morning: I am at DC Superior Court and Bob Novak is on the same jury pool I am. He just got called into Judge Mott’s courtroom (301). And then, the shocking update: Read more on BOB NOVAK’S IN UR JURIEZ, CONVICTIN’ UR PEEPS…
 

30 Months for Scooter!

Scooter Libby is going to jail for 2-and-a-half years and getting fined $250,000. As Wonkette’s prediction was closest without going over, we will take home a lovely dinette set. In a minute we’ll find out if Scooter will get to go out on bail while appealing his conviction, because this trial will never, ever, ever end. Not until another five or six books from its participants are finally released, at least. Read more on 30 Months for Scooter!…
 

Children by the Millions Sing for Scooter Libby

The Smoking Gun has 30 pages of Scooter Libby mash notes from various Washington bigwigs, from Henry Kissinger to Peter Pace. It’s also something of a rogues gallery of shamed former Bushies who’ve seen better days (Rummy! Feith! Wolfowitz!). Perhaps oddly, there’s no message of support from Dick Cheney. We figured he’d be a shitty boss, but he won’t even write a recommendation? Read more on Children by the Millions Sing for Scooter Libby…
 

Scooter to be Sent Up Today

Scooter Libby’s being sentenced today for patriotic crimes of America-loving, and also not remembering anything he ever said or did while advising and doing the bidding of the most powerful people in the country. Back in March, our legal expert suggested a 24-month term, with Scooter out early for good behavior. Read more on Scooter to be Sent Up Today…