Tag Archives: pittsburgh

  Behind Blue Whines

Pittsburgh Police Chief Says No To Racism. Cops As Fine With This As You’d Expect

Wow, that's so controversial!
Yet another leader of a large police department is learning that you’d better not ever suggest that racism is a thing that exists, or you will be accused of Disloyalty to the Thin-Skinned Blue Line. In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Police Chief Cameron Mclay is getting a lesson in how post-racial America works: Read more on Pittsburgh Police Chief Says No To Racism. Cops As Fine With This As You’d Expect…
  those who can't...

Author Of Excellent ‘Stop Being Gay’ Book Arrested For Molesting Teen Boy, Allegedly, Again

A Pittsburgh pastor who wrote a not-quite-bestselling book about his successful struggle to become a former gay has been arrested for sexually assaulting a teenaged boy. On the one hand, it looks like pretty strong evidence that attempts to pray away the gay just don’t take, but we’d also like to point out that, comes right down to it, the gay is a far less problematic issue here than the teenager-raping. Dare we even suggest that if Bishop Duane Youngblood of the “Higher Call World Outreach Church” had just settled down to being a happily gay man instead of trying to force himself to be straight, it’s entirely possible he wouldn’t have done nonconsensual sex to a teen who came to him for counseling? We don’t claim to be experts on this stuff. Read more on Author Of Excellent ‘Stop Being Gay’ Book Arrested For Molesting Teen Boy, Allegedly, Again…
  the pain in spain

Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Austerity’s A Bitch And Then You Die

(Pittsburgh) A few days ago I was in Rome, now I’m in Pittsburgh. My serotonin level is in freefall. No, Pittsburgh’s nice, really! The frutti di mare is good here. It’s the jet lag and the hemorrhoidal bonfire in my ass that make me want to die. And my VISA bill. I asked an emaciated 70-year-old Pittsburghian taxi driver, Troy, whether the city was doing okay. He said that the unemployment rate was 7%, a point lower than the US average, that they never had a housing bubble here, and that manufacturing jobs have been gone for so long that nobody even remembers them. Pittsburgh is the Germany of America! Contrast that with Spain where the unemployment rate is 24.6% and the rate for under-25s is––holy-crap––53%. We had a situation like that once. They called it the Great Depression and it left a whole generation of Americans so damaged that they have a nervous breakdown every time they have to leave a tip. Eso es desagradable, Jack! Read more on Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Austerity’s A Bitch And Then You Die…
  important news about scooters

Scooter Road Rage Tragedy Narrowly Avoided

RABID SCOOTER DRIVERS ON THE LOOSE is how you should now think of America’s highways, so please “watch out.” A vehicle containing an injured Pittsburgh Pirates player and his family came under attack by a scooter driver who thought the family’s car was trying to kill him, so he followed them to a gas station and went all “Operation Scooter Freedom” on their vehicle and the player’s wife. A passerby intervened and lived to tell this harrowing tale: Read more on Scooter Road Rage Tragedy Narrowly Avoided…
  wacky photos

Pittsburgh, This Is Inconsistent!

Great photo here from Pittsburgh, the growing & thriving American business city! Huh? Oh, nevermind, 1958 ended a while ago. Tomorrow Pittsburgh will host the latest G20 conference, but NO FOREIGNS ALLOWED. [Flickr] Read more on Pittsburgh, This Is Inconsistent!…
  terrible news

Evil Liberal Bloggers Strain Grassley, Specter Friendship, On Twitter

The clone armies of Markos Molasses, Matt “David” Yglesias and others are still in Pittsburgh playing grab-ass with the supposed racist Bill Clinton at this year’s Netroots Nation conference. What the dickens are they hoping to achieve? Well this morning, during an address from former Republican sack o’ cancer Arlen Specter, they were able to get the Pennsylvania senator to prank-call and prank-Twitter his old friend Chuck Grassley — who is now furious! Does it make your day to know that you’ve RUINED a friendship, communist bloggers? Because it would make ours. Read more on Evil Liberal Bloggers Strain Grassley, Specter Friendship, On Twitter…
  dept. of false mutilations

Cut-Nut Sent To Nut-Hut

Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old McCain volunteer who bravely attempted to incite a New American Race War with her fake story about getting mutilated by an angry black man and instead spawned a cheap Halloween costume trend, will not be sent to torture-prison for five and a half years. After a mere week in jail, she reached a plea agreement with the Authorities: no hard time, only mental health treatment. She will also have to check in with those Authorities every now and again to let them know of her whereabouts, like a common criminal, so there’s that. By next week she will have a country music recording contract and her own show on Fox, after “Huckabee.” [MSNBC] Read more on Cut-Nut Sent To Nut-Hut…
  surprise surprise

BREAKING: McCAIN CUT-NUT MADE IT UP!

KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA] Read more on BREAKING: McCAIN CUT-NUT MADE IT UP!…
  yes we carve

NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP] Read more on …
  black criminal acts

Could ‘The Mean Janitor’ Have Attacked This McCain Lady, Again?

Here’s a video by Ashley Todd, the poor McCain volunteer who claims to have been carved up by Barack Obama in Western Pennsylvania, a region where McCain needs as many votes as possible now that he’s tied his entire election hopes to victory in that state. If Ashley’s story holds up, then you obviously shouldn’t vote for Barack Obama now, and we hope she goes to the hospital at some point, just to get those knife carvings looked at. In the meantime, Pittsburgh police should immediately arrest the angry black guy in this video, “The Mean Janitor,” who clearly has had it out for Ashley Todd for some time. [YouTube] Read more on Could ‘The Mean Janitor’ Have Attacked This McCain Lady, Again?…
 

Crazy Loser Commits Stupid Crimes To Defend Lame Elected Position, Goes To Jail

Ah, state legislatures! Democracy’s petri dish! Where political parties try out new techniques and positions to see what might win votes on a national level. If events in Pennsylvania are any indication, we may all soon be seeing threatening phone calls, fake accusations of fake terrorism, and egregious abuse of taxpayer-funded photocopiers, followed by arrests and humiliation. And isn’t that something we can all get behind? Former state Rep. Jeff Habay was handcuffed and taken to the Allegheny County Jail yesterday after a judge revoked his bond. “Mr. Habay continues to avoid what he should be doing, which is serving his sentence,” Judge [Jeffrey A.] Manning said. Wacky antics in greater Pittsburgh, after the jump. Read more on Crazy Loser Commits Stupid Crimes To Defend Lame Elected Position, Goes To Jail…