Great photo here from Pittsburgh, the growing & thriving American business city! Huh? Oh, nevermind, 1958 ended a while ago. Tomorrow Pittsburgh will host the latest G20 conference, but NO FOREIGNS ALLOWED. [Flickr]

The clone armies of Markos Molasses, Matt “David” Yglesias and others are still in Pittsburgh playing grab-ass with the supposed racist Bill Clinton at this year’s Netroots Nation conference. What the dickens are they hoping to achieve? Well this morning, during an address from former Republican sack o’ cancer Arlen Specter, they were able to get the Pennsylvania senator to prank-call and prank-Twitter his old friend Chuck Grassley — who is now furious! Does it make your day to know that you’ve RUINED a friendship, communist bloggers? Because it would make ours. MORE »

Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old McCain volunteer who bravely attempted to incite a New American Race War with her fake story about getting mutilated by an angry black man and instead spawned a cheap Halloween costume trend, will not be sent to torture-prison for five and a half years. After a mere week in jail, she reached a plea agreement with the Authorities: no hard time, only mental health treatment. She will also have to check in with those Authorities every now and again to let them know of her whereabouts, like a common criminal, so there’s that. By next week she will have a country music recording contract and her own show on Fox, after “Huckabee.” [MSNBC]

KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA]

• NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP]

Here’s a video by Ashley Todd, the poor McCain volunteer who claims to have been carved up by Barack Obama in Western Pennsylvania, a region where McCain needs as many votes as possible now that he’s tied his entire election hopes to victory in that state. If Ashley’s story holds up, then you obviously shouldn’t vote for Barack Obama now, and we hope she goes to the hospital at some point, just to get those knife carvings looked at. In the meantime, Pittsburgh police should immediately arrest the angry black guy in this video, “The Mean Janitor,” who clearly has had it out for Ashley Todd for some time. [YouTube]

Ah, state legislatures! Democracy’s petri dish! Where political parties try out new techniques and positions to see what might win votes on a national level. If events in Pennsylvania are any indication, we may all soon be seeing threatening phone calls, fake accusations of fake terrorism, and egregious abuse of taxpayer-funded photocopiers, followed by arrests and humiliation. And isn’t that something we can all get behind?

Former state Rep. Jeff Habay was handcuffed and taken to the Allegheny County Jail yesterday after a judge revoked his bond. “Mr. Habay continues to avoid what he should be doing, which is serving his sentence,” Judge [Jeffrey A.] Manning said.

Wacky antics in greater Pittsburgh, after the jump.

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